He said if I don't trust him enough to do this then ....

[Springstomind]

Partner has been asking me to send him a naked photo of myself. We have been together for a year, we don't live together. He says I want "my photo" and brings it up a lot. I have been brushing it off etc and recently told him that I don't want to risk a naked photo of myself to get out in the public as you just never know these days.
His response was that if I don't trust him with a naked photo of myself then I shouldn't trust him enough to have sex with.

Aibu?

That would be an ex partner if my DH demanded it.

Really, really nasty behaviour.

He is not a good person. Send him a photo of a bin and tell him to get in it.

The simple solution here is to not have sex with him any more.

He shouldn't be trusted to the point of having sex with, because he's showing that he doesn't respect you or your boundaries. You can do better.

His response was that if I don't trust him with a naked photo of myself then I shouldn't trust him enough to have sex with.

Seperate to the issue that he’s emotionally blackmailing you to do something you don’t want to do, I don’t think I could continue to date someone with such a poor grasp of logic.

What a prince.

Don't even think of doing what he asks - and if I were you, I'd dump him just for his insistence.

OP, your response should be 'how can I possibly trust you when you are so blatantly manipulative!!'
Or just laugh & change the subject.

You are right and he's twat. Just dump him.

I once asked my girlfriend at the time for a nude selfie.

She said "No", I said "OK"

I never brought it up again.

That's the minimum acceptable behaviour you should be looking for here @Springstomind . Your boyfriend has failed miserably on that front.

Edit: Damn it, didn't mean to quote the OP and now can't get rid of it.

Please don’t do it. You will regret it forever. I don’t normally agree with the LTB crowd… but you should absolutely bin him.

His reaction tells you why you shouldn't do this!

I’m going to go against the grain here. Sometimes I think mumsnet is full of people who are dead below the waist. I’ve sent my DH naked pics. I have a high sex drive and I think this keeps things exciting. I know he wouldn’t share them. I think it’s a worry that you think your boyfriend might share them! I never have my face in photos so that eliminates any “risk” really. We are in our 50’s. I would say unclench and have some fun! Sounds like he wants to wank to a pic of you instead of porn.

Ewww. How deeply unattractive of him. Also if he can’t see how sending a naked photo is different to having sex he is really thick to boot. Don’t be pressured OP. If you send it and then break up, he will always have something over you. I’d also be wary of having sex with him tbh, there are so many cases of men like this secretly filming 🤮 Get rid.

Porn culture has absolutely corrupted men.

Tell him that no, you don't trust him enough to have sex with him.

And don't have sex with him.

But did your DH try and pressure you into it a year in?? Bet it wouldn’t feel so sexy then. The issue is that she isn’t yet in that trusting relationship and he is pressuring her.

The point is he is trying to coerce her, which is a very unattractive quality in a partner

And that's fine, because you're happy to do it.

But as with any sexual act, consent is key. And pressuring someone who has just refused consent is a dick move.

I personally don't give a shit who sees my knob. I'd happily walk around naked if it wouldn't upset other people. But that doesn't mean I can't understand that a romantic partner might not want to take the same risks with their own body, image and reputation.

@Springstomind my DH doesn’t have a naked picture of me!

What a dick. What a stupid comparison he’s making, as well. When you have sex with him, it’s not being permanently recorded for later reference! Tell him that if he valued you he’d respect your wishes and not try to force you to do something you don’t want to do!

Is he the type that refuses to accept a “no” answer? I would just tell him it’s your body and the discussion is now over.

Yes, boyfriend, you are right, I should not trust you enough to have sex with. Please don’t contact me again.

He’s right about not being able to trust him, get rid!

Well, he's a horror. You said no. You meant no.

He is a pervy weirdo. Dump him.

@Blondiebeachbabe if she doesn't want to that's her prerogative and should be respected, it doesn't matter what you do.

How do you think your DH would react if you told him you don't want to do that any more and to delete the pictures? would he respect that?