To tell DD she can't do it anymore?

[whatawickedgame]

I genuinely don't know what to do about this, I feel terrible for even considering it.

DD (8) is a very good dancer and was invited onto her dance companies competitive team. She was thrilled and I was thrilled for her, she tries her very best. She is a competitive person by nature so she really likes doing it. She has classes 4 days a week. However, some of the classes start at 3:45pm (twice a week) and it's occurred to me that now I'm considering going back to work since DC has started school, I can't find a job that is flexible enough for my schedule for DD, even part time ones. I live in a relatively small town and jobs are really hard to get here, particularly part time ones. DD is theoretically tied into this team and these classes until she's 17. The classes don't get later as she gets older. She's only been doing all of these classes for a few weeks before the summer (and currently on break for the summer holidays) and loves it and I feel terrible for considering taking her out of it since I said she can do it, but I don't know how feasible it is for me to continue making this commitment. I cannot find a job that finishes before 5pm, which right now isn't an issue as I don't need to work this second, but eventually I do want to get back to work and I don't know how I'll be able to do both. There is another dance class in the area that we can get to, but it's one class a week and no competitions which is what DD is really excited for. DD doesn't do other clubs, it's just her dance but I don't know if it's feasible. Does anyone else have this kind of schedule and how do you make it work if you do? AIBU to think that it's maybe not feasible? I genuinely feel terrible

I feel so bad though because DD worked hard to get the invite to the competitive team

Sorry if I missed it but what childcare will you be using until 5pm? Surely you see if they can take her?

That's unlikely unless it's 1:1 childcare.

I think the issue is she can’t get her child there from school and kid can’t get there by herself.

How near is it to school? Could you pay a school mum to take her?

Would an au pair be an option?

How old is she?

If you can't do it then you can't do it @whatawickedgame. She's also only 8, so it might be better in the long term to be doing a more relaxed class, less often, than so much competing. Welcome to motherhood - where we feel we can never quite do enough! 😔

It says she's 8.

Sorry- I see that she's 8! Are there any other kids from her school going to the classes?

This, can you use a childminder and have them take her?

What about your DH does he wfh any days or have any flexibility to do a drop off ?
Maybe ask the dance school for any suggestions, possibly could suggest other DPs to car pool with.

Does any of the other girls in the team go to the same school as your dd? Could you pay their parent to take her to dance?

I don't know what your plans/geographical and travel factors are for secondary but if she's 8 now, she's only 3 or so years off that age and she'll only get more independent. If this is her hobby I'd see if you can find childcare or friends in the classes that can facilitate her going. Could someone's mum drop off if you pick up to get through the next couple of years.

Does she go to the sort of primary school that would let them be more independent in year 6 and would her getting herself there be feasible in time do you think?

If there are 17 year olds going, would one of them be willing to collect her and take her to class for a small wage? I used to do that in 6th form, I think I got £5 a week for it.

Can you pay a baby sitter or else another mum of the dance class?

You could see if a local childminder could take her, but ultimately if you need to work and it doesn’t fit, then she won’t be able to do it. You can’t not work until she’s 17 due a dance class. I’d explain it’s nice she’s been able to do it as you aren’t working but you need to return to work soon and it might not be possible then.

I think it sounds like she loves it and it's only a few years till high school where she'll surely be able to make her own way?

What about if the team has older girls one of them could pick her up from school and take her? That's me assuming that logistics of proximity of high/primary school work out!

I quite like the idea of an au pair too!

I agree that some childminders may do this for you.

Or an au pair.

Or can you look for a job where you work flexibly and finish early that day in exchange for working late a different day?

The childminder I used to use when my DC was small often did drop offs and pick ups to clubs and hobbies with his older children OP. It might be worth looking into first?

If she loves it and wants to keep at it then I'd try to find a way to happen.

I used to pay the teenager next door to take my DD from the childminder to drama club.

I'd look at every possible option, it will be so sad for her to be forced to give up now.

Ask if any other school mums have children involved that could take her.

Pay a childminder or other service. Or an older girl.

It would be frowned upon now but my parents used taxis...booked to pick me up and drop me at a set time week in week out.

What about looking at a nanny? There are some companies that do after school nannies and they’ll take children to activities.

Please explore all these options. How would it be if she always felt that she "could have been......" had she only had the chance?

By 11 she may be able to get there herself. By 9 she may even decide she hates it. If she goes it and it keeps her fit and happy - what more can you ask? So if you can, do it.

If you really can't - do what you can to keep her dance ticking over until she's old enough to join a competitive class that she can get to herself. And explain that to her.

Do t withdraw until all avenues exhausted. Friends, family, childminder, teenager etc.