Not a good wife

[Catdogmouse1]

If your husband said the words you are a great mother, but not a good wife how would u feel?
For context 2 kids under 5 husband works away 7am to 7pm.... gets to fit in gym time in the evening
I do all child related stuff, sort the finances, house admin, medical stuff, cooking and cleaning, oh and work full time as well. He hardly lifts a finger round the house... but apparently i am not a good wife.
Then he has the nerve 2 ask me what i do 4 him and that he doesnt care about washing or cooking... he can do that himself.
Am i missing something?

He probably means sex.

How would I feel?
fucking raging

you’re missing a good partner and husband

I was going to say he wants sex..Course he would get more of that if he pulled his weight.

If he can do the washing and cooking for himself, let him. Ungrateful bastard. From now on I wouldn’t lift a finger for him. He can do his own laundry and his own cooking, and hopefully that frees you up to have a bit of time to devote to yourself and your hobbies, because he’s a prick who doesn’t deserve the care you give him.

I’d ask him what he does for you, and his kids. Then tell him he’s not a good husband

Of course he means sex. You should obviously be at his beck and call 🙄

Fucks sake. On top of everything else the twat wants a fucking blow job

Most likely, but when i am up through the night multiple times and then up for the day at 5 with 2 very poor sleepers, and working full time... with all house stuff sorted and him not in until late, Im not exactly sure when hr expects it 2 happen..
Not to mentiom the fact he isnt helping matters with not showing much affection which i have told him i need on so many occassions

My husband dared tell me only once what I did was not good enough. Reminded him where the door is. Shut his mouth forever

He means "you're not also willing to be my personal masturbation aid therefore in my tiny, useless, pea brained little mind you're useless".

If my husband said that to me it'd be the last day I ever do a single dusty fucking thing for him other than hand him divorce papers.

Perhaps if he was home more and helped with running the house, you might have the time, energy or inclination to have sex with him. He should take a look at himself because critiquing you.

Thanks for all the messages, he is very much woe is me attitude and is blaming me it seems.

Ive already just fed my wee one, who will no likely be up again shortly. And my 4 year old is such a poor sleeper 2 (possible asd) so i am running on empty a lot

No inkling he was this type of man before you married and had kids?

Apart from money, an expectation of wifely duties and derogatory comments what does he bring to your life?

My marriage would be over in my mind and I would be planning my exit.

And there this morning i went and bought stuff to make a nice dinner we could have, and what did he decide 2 do...
Go drinking with his mates, then declare im a bad wife on his return 😳

Have you advised him yet that you'd be a better wife if he wasn't an F-Tier husband? I mean what does he actually bring to your relationship?

No words!

I guess b4 kids there was a lot more time 4 each other and naturally theres not the same time now, but surely thats the same 4 most with wee kids and is a season which passes?

Errr this

I don’t aspire to be a good wife so that would just make me chuckle. Often that’s code for “do what l want and service my every whim” which aren’t my goals. For the record he sounds like a shit husband and dad. Why is he out gallivanting all the time and you are left at home doing the heavy lifting?

I'd say 'oh dear! That's terrible I'm such a bad wife. Let's divorce immediately.'

What is his definition of a good wife? Sounds like your doing everything while his life has just continued as normal, would love to hear what he thinks he does that makes him a good a husband.

I'd tell him to fuck off. If he thinks you're such a bad wife, he knows where the door is. Offer to help him pack his bags!

Comments like not being a good wife dent away at a person. Def not what i need
He is good with the kids on the weekend, but with travel to work and home he is in late so it is mostly all on me sadly

And I'd put money in you doing more than your fair share on the weekend too. I'd aim to be out from early Sat to late Sunday every weekend for a few months. See how sexy that makes him feel.

Oh do fuck off with that. Children change the dynamic beyond recognition. Stop with this "you should have picked better". It's the easiest thing in the world to find yourself in a situation as things gradually deteriorate. I'm sure you know the boiling frog analogy?

Yeah he can leave and find another doormat.