I am a single mum to 3 kids, 2 with additional needs. Love them to bits as goes without saying, but due to their high needs there are no instagram worthy pics of days out / first days at school/ perfect smiley family etc. we take each day as it comes, roll with the neurodiverse meltdowns (intense) and as long as my kids are fed and alive and loved by the end of the day and I’ve brushed my teeth once it’s a win. You get the picture.
my brother has twins of 8 months with a gorgeous (inside and out) wife and they live overseas, we aren’t very close but no bad relations, we just live in different worlds (they have Nannies, housekeepers, multiple houses across the world, and post lots on social media). Am i happy for him? Yes. Am I jealous? Yes. Do I feel an idiot for feeling jealous? Yes, but it is what it is.
my issue: when the twins were born his wife set up a what’s app group for her extensive family (think parents, stepparents, siblings, cousins) who all live in different countries to keep them up to date with cute pics/ videos/ updates of the twins. Lovely idea. My brother then kindly added me without asking me, fair enough, it’s a nice thought. But omg every day around 24 messages come in from each family member
commenting on the twins outfit that day, their smile, what activity they are doing and while it’s great they have this large extended family who adore them, it’s slowly eating me up, I have no family other than my Brother, no one to send 5
messages applauding my kids smiling (not that they often do and never on demand) but somehow it’s making it painfully obvious that my kids have…me and that’s it, The jealously is creeping in and every message makes me feel angry and it’s such a rotten feeling, I don’t feel I can exit the group without looking rude, I’ve muted it so I don’t get pinged all day with 9 X “wow! Is that a half blueberry F is trying? WELL DONE!” But I have to catch up at the end of a few days and add my
own “well done!” Or I am the only one not doing it and it looks rude ☹️
i think I’m especially on edge this week as i got hit with a wicked electricity bill and parking ticket on the same day that on the chat are offers to buy them the next step up double buggy for £2500 and talk of a weekend at Xmas in a chalet for them (I could go but would need to pay my way and that could never happen financially or with my kids coping in a ski chalet). So it feels like it’s rubbing it in my face that they have an army of family behind them to adore them and financially support them and my kids … don’t, And I know that’s just life but somehow this active group entirely dedicated to the twins makes me feel really envious.
i need to know if I’m being reasonable in which case what the hell do I do as I don’t want to cause offence, and if I’m not do I simply have to try and suck it up?