FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

I have a disability that affects coordination and spatial awareness so I don’t drive but my husband does. I do live in a city though with good transport links which make it easy to get around.

My whole family has irlens (which quite a lot of Mumsnet doesn't believe is real).

Me, my brother, my mum, my nephew's and my daughters would all kill people pretty quickly if we drove.

Interestingly, me, my mum and my brother can drive. We've just taken the sensible option and chosen not to.

We grew up in the middle of nowhere with 3 buses a day. Managed to get to school, work and have an active social life. I think the people that say they need to drive are deluded.
Unless it's part of your job of course!

Don't let it bother you

Because its so expensive! Not everyone has disposable income to be able...its not just the cost of regular lessons, its the test cost, etc...then the car cost, insurance, petrol etc. one car one household might be all they can afford and its usually to the one who works if not commuting

100 posts in half an hour.

Nice work @nextdoorconundrum 9/10 for goadiness. Good job! 👏

I think for a lot it comes down to either not needing to (good transport etc) or tbh the fact the cost is so prohibitive for many including lessons, test, initial cost of car / ongoing lease, fuel, insurance, tax, MOT / servicing, and that's without potentially costly repairs if the car is not great...

I don't want my husband to drive me. I want to go, when I want, where I want. I don't want to be dependent on anyone, thanks, to get me to the supermarket. I completely understand why you live in a city if you can't drive though. If it works for you, great but honestly you live in a way I couldn't cope with for more than a week.

I’m Dyspraxic and failed my driving test five times, I eventually passed but I understand how you would give up if you don’t have that kind of spare money for lessons.
I live in a city now and will usually always take public transport, it’s better for the environment too.
My husband always collects the shopping- I order, he collects it’s a fair trade off.

Why do you care so much?

Exactly😂

I don't - can't - drive. I've had three years of lessons and have never been anywhere near passing a test. I cry a lot. I find it quite stressful.

I wish I did drive, because I live in a semi-rural county. I will make sure that my children do, because it's inconvenient to me to have to use public transport all the time.

However, I don't see why any of this affects the OP in any way whatsoever. I never ask for lifts - I always find my own way, even if it's by taxi - and I think this is akin to me wondering why some people are incapable of holding a tune or solving a quadratic equation. Some people aren't very good at some things. Deal with it!

I've always found it's men who don't/ won't/can't learn to drive.

I passed aged 17.

What young people are these, the ones still living at home well into their 20s and expecting lifts still??

Not what you post is about, but yes I do know a few women who could definitely afford to but choose not to learn and let their male partner get on with it.

What annoys me more - and I see a lot more of - is women who flat out refuse to drive on the motorway or drive at night. I have came across this situation many times, and it’s not just nervous new drivers or old ladies. It’s people who have been driving for years and just refuse to. Yet I’ve never met a man who refuses to do either. I find it a bit weedy 😂

I don’t mind if the man is the only one that can drive as long as the man is also deemed capable of doing things alone that don’t need to be family outings, and that a driving female would happily do by themselves. It’s repeatedly used as an excuse for it taking 2 adults and 3 kids to push a trolley round Sainsbury’s!

Not driving is a personal choice and not mandatory.

It's like saying all humans are equal but some humans who drive are more equal than the rest.

This quote is inspired By George Orwell Animal farm and edited by me.

It's ok not to drive so long as non drivers are independent and can get themselves where they need to be without bothering those who drive for lifts all the time.

Family didn't have enough money for lessons when aged 17
Summer born so not enough time to learn before uni
Good public transport where living
Plus today
Shortage of driving instructors and examination slots
Theory test gets out of date and have to retake
Car insurance prohibitive cost until age 25 by which time huge housing cost and student loan repayment

So have to really want to drive which on average will be more males than females

DS doesn't drive as I am a single parent and couldn't afford, he lost his part time job in lockdown and is now at university. In his first year flat there were 8 of them and only two could drive - all for similar reasons

Possibly the most judgmental OP I've ever come across on here.

I tried learning to drive when I was younger and hated it. I wasn't bad at it, but the actions of other motorists and the sheer number of cars on the road terrified me. I made a decision to be a lifelong non-driver and it has suited me very well (even without a husband to drive me around). I refuse to be judged as 'weedy' or somehow inadequate as a woman as a result of a choice I made in my own best interests.

I mean I drive. But if we go out as a family it’s literally always my husband.

driving needs concentration and I don’t mind. But his car is cleaner because he doesn’t have kids in it all the time

What in the 1950’s?? I have never heard anyone say it’s not important for women to drive.

The majority of the women I know drive, either out of necessity, commute/work/school runs, or because they want to.

I don’t understand why you can get angry about this OP.

My brother doesn't drive because he's shit at it.
5 failed tests, 2 crashes, several scrapes, failed theory test second time around. Even if he did ever manage to actually pass the bloody thing he'd be an absolute menace on the roads and, quite frankly, dangerous.

I'm sure he could get it eventually, he's a very intelligent man, but why go through hell for something that he's managed the last 37 years without?

I had shouty dad ,one lesson,stick your car up your arse .. never tried again.
And I'm male.
So don't think it's male v female issue.
It's circumstances.

I can’t drive, I don’t want to learn, the idea of being in control of a vehicle and responsible for mine and others lives while driving terrifies me.

I passed my test at 17, my DH was 34.
My Dad can no longer drive due to medical issues. My Mum taught him to drive and drives every day, frequently over distances as they live very rurally. She is awesome and often will ask me to be her passenger to ensure she is still safe. She is, just not very good at the 20mph round these here parts!