FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

Because it's women putting limits on their lives? Being dependent on other people for journeys that are straightforward if you can drive. You can take it in turns on long journeys. You can be independent. I've known a few women not drive (husbands can). I think it's a life skill, like learning to swim.

I had a medical issue that made learning to drive difficult. I failed my test five times. But there was no way I was going to not drive. I persevered and passed and driving changed my life. I enjoy it and have a car I love. There were a few Mums at school when I was a kid that couldn’t drive and I just thought it was incredibly backward and old fashioned then. That was the 80s. I don’t know any female I know (I’m 44) that doesn’t drive.

I know lots of women who can’t/don’t drive.
One doesn’t drive for medical reasons (not allowed to drive). One can drive and passed her test but now refuses to drive anywhere and sold her car because she didn’t feel confident on the roads. Then gets pissed off when things are planned in places she can’t get to easily on public transport!

The world needs fewer drivers not more.
What a strange thing to get so annoyed about!

My SIL doesn't. It irritates me that my DB is her constant chauffeur as well. It puzzles me as to how someone could choose to lack independence and take this kind of childish role. Her apparent anxiety about learning, and writing this off as a possibility, means she has this odd expectation that others 'should' give her lifts. I find it odd. I totally get people who live in London not needing to learn, or those who have a specific physical issue that means jt's too difficult ofc.

You're angry because of something you made up in your own head? How interesting. Women are not socialised to not drive, that's BS.

There are a million different reasons why someone (who may or may not have a vagina) does not have a full driving license or cannot drive

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?

Calling people names in your OP probably wasn't the best way to get a positive interaction.

So what? It doesn't affect you.

Having children puts limits on a woman's life too but it's individual choice.

I grew up in a very rural location everyone learnt to drive as soon as they got to 17 both male and female. My sister still lives there and my 2 nieces are the same. I now live in a well connected town and find many more people don't drive. Of the people I know more men don't drive than women.

I can’t drive. Sorry that offends you. I didn’t learn as a teenager because my parents wouldn’t take me out and I couldn’t afford the lessons. Have taken lessons a few times since and never passed a test.

From the age of 19 onwards I have lived in a series of different big cities where not only is it not necessary to drive but owning a car would be an expensive burden which I can’t justify. I have no interest in driving and when I have tried I have found it both boring and frightening.

I never ask for lifts and if offered them I always pay for petrol. I am perfectly capable of making my own way on public transport wherever I need to go and pay for taxis when I can’t.

My life suits me fine. Why does this bother you?

I have to admit, the threads that irritate me the most on MN often start with some completely ridiculous easily solvable problem like they can't get to a hospital appointment or their kids to school, and only on questioning do they announce they live in the arse end of nowhere and can't drive (husband can but he's at work 🙄). How are people so passive in their own life

I didn’t learn until my 40s. I had no money to learn as a teenager. When DH and I got married we could only afford for one of us to learn to drive - he had had some lessons as a teen so it made sense for him to learn as he was further along. We had a car for a few years then went about a decade with no car because things were tight and we could manage without one. When we had a car again he taught me to drive and we now share the car. Neither of us relied on other people to drive us about. We walked, cycled, used public transport and occasional taxis.

I can drive. I drive a lot for work and don't particularly enjoy it so I'm happy for DH to drive everywhere else outside of my work driving. It costs us nothing for him to drive and he enjoys it.

Do you know how hard it is to book a driving test now? That slots get bought up by third parties and held for ransom.
That people's theory tests are running out before they can book the practical.
It's become a huge scam.

Agree my mum does not drive and it's been very detrimental to her and made her slightly controlling with my dad. She wilfully refused to try. Hard to explain but she is quite aggressively passive and weak
We were poor but my brother and I learned as soon as we turned 17 with our birthday money and worked to get an old banger to drive It's a life skill

Never saw the need till I had children then I couldn't afford it then I COULD but my husband was abusive and refused to allow me to drive then we split and I went back to being too poor to learn my dad helped me out financially and I learned now thanks to these government taxes etc I might be losing my ability to afford to run a car

Still you've got to laugh right?

Obviously it's because women can't reverse without getting their ovaries tangled up.

I can drive now but couldn't until my 30s. In college and university I couldn't afford it. Straight after graduating I was the sole income supporting DH who was studying, so I couldn't afford it then either. Didn't really need to drive at that time as was living in a big city where public transport was better than driving anyway. When I could finally afford it covid hit. It took a long time to learn. I find driving very stressful.

DH passed at 18 because his parents could afford lessons.

What woman under 50 chooses not to drive because she’d rather “defer to her husband”? 😂 There are lots of reasons people may not drive, but that is not likely to be a significant one.

I've just seen stats on another thread saying that these days 25% of people aged 18-25 don't drink alcohol at all.

I do drive. But many people can't afford to learn.

This has clearly triggered some folks! I think it depends where you grew up - I grew up in the 90s in a tiny town with godawful public transport and I don’t know anyone from my school year who didn’t pass their test. Basically if you ever wanted to leave, you needed to drive 🤣 It was also a fairly rural community so many kids grew up driving ‘things’ (tractors, quad bikes) well before official driving age.
The posters I cannot get my head around are women who move to rural areas and can’t/won’t drive! Surely there must be some understanding of how isolating it will be (maybe that’s what their DPs want…)

I used to drive, now I don’t because I don’t enjoy driving. My husband does the driving for us. I’m happy with that. This isn’t some big feminist issue.

Not everyone can afford to drive!

lessons are extortionate so is the cost of running a car in comparison to getting the bus.

I had some lessons when younger but didn’t carry on as I could not afford them.
Yes it would be nice to drive but the costs of petrol, insurance, maintenance would stretch my budget too thin.

judgy mcjudgerson!

Still leaves 75% that do!

Sometimes there's a "designated driver" but none of my friends who can drive ever wanted to be driving in the city centre at night.