FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

u Ok hun

Maybe in big cities with good public transport but most towns and cities don't have good public transport! My son works in a Northern city and when he first got his job and flat there he intended to use buses so didn't think he needed a car. After a month or so, of being late for work in the morning because buses didn't turn up, not being able to get a bus home after a night out because the last was stupidly early 10pm, etc., he bought a car and now drives daily instead.

Are you a driving instructor touting for business? 😉

@TartanJambo My parents couldn’t afford to pay for mine either, I used money from my part time job as a student and student overdraft/loans, bought my first car too and insurance etc, I agree it’s difficult though

I don’t drive and I find how much it irks you to be unsurprising. The fact I don’t drive bothers others a heck of a lot more than it bothers me.

I mean you sound quite angry about something that doesn't affect you.
I am on my own with dcs and so do all the driving, driving us 3 hours this weekend down south... i get sick of it. sometimes i would love someone else to chauffeur me around :)

Maybe being able to drive isn't as important to other people as it is to you? Crazy concept I know.

when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability

Thats brilliant, but as someone born to a council house family who had to work full time from 15, I couldn’t afford to drive; and I have a spinal injury that means it’s be great but challenging to learn. I’m learning now and it’s £50 a lesson. The average person needs something like 45 lessons to learn, so that’s over £2.2k.

Then you don't have a car in the household ! So not directed at you !

If you'd posted this maybe 3-4 decades ago I'd have agreed. Now...I don't recognise this at all.

The only women I know who never wanted to learn are both in their late 70s.

My brother (46) can’t drive but his wife can. He was so phobic of cars that he wouldn’t even get in one for years…. he can manage that now but absolutely won’t drive.

It would drive me mad! DH was a lifelong biker with no car license but as soon as we planned on starting a family he got driving lessons as he recognised it was unfair for me to be the only one who could drive the family about.

Hi – weedy here.

I don’t drive. I lived in London til I was 32. I did take driving lessons but when I was 18 I was involved in a crash that almost killed my mother and a bystander. I was a nervous wreck following that for a long time. I live in the suburbs now but 1) can’t afford to and 2) don’t have time.

Hope that clears things up.

I don't drive any more since I got sick...

But I learned before my DH did, and out of my close friends, the women drive and their partners or brothers don't. So it's not always women! Oh, and my brother doesn't drive either, but he does live in a city, and his girlfriend doesn't drive either.

I've medically suspended for so long that I now need to retake my test if they ever decide to let me drive again. However as I am a full time carer I wouldn't be able to afford it if they did. I guess that makes me less than aye @nextdoorconundrum

It seems I have been unclear.. m

This question is directed at people who HAVE A CAR IN THE HOUSEHOLD.

Op I can drive now just fine but previously had driving anxiety for 8 years. Trust me I wanted to drive more than anything in the world but couldn't. It was really hard. Your post lacks empathy and if I'd have read it when I still had the anxiety I'd have felt really shitty. Such horrible words.

I know an equal amount of men and women who can’t drive. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t drive just because they would rather defer to the man, literally nobody.
The people I know who can’t drive it’s down to health issues - both mental and physical and/or because of cost. For me, I’m unfortunate to be effected by all 3 reasons. I never ask for lifts and just get on with it, it’s normal for me.

Driving lessons are £45 an hour where I live.

Can you really not work it out?

I never get when people say about not being able to get back from a night out due to no buses. On a night out most people have a drink surely so you'd get a taxi? I don't know anyone who would drive to a night out especially when you're in your 20s!

Lack of confidence, anxiety, panic & other mental health illnesses, not being able to afford to, other priorities.

Why do people need to justify the reasons to you? What do you get out of bashing others?

If you don't want to offer a lift then just say no then just say no or ask for petrol money &

My god, who hurt you?
There are not that many households where the man drives and the woman chooses not to. Even if there were, mind your own business. You’re drawing very bizarre conclusions, here.

Because I had postpartum psychosis when dc1 was born and suddenly from nowhere had the overwhelming urge to drive us into a stationary object at high speed. I managed to stop myself but even now I'm well...the fear of it happening again is terrifying to the point that I prefer not to drive.

This is still a bit unclear. Do you mean people who have a car in the household but do not hold a licence, so partner does all the driving? Or people who have a licence but prefer to let their male partner drive whenever its needed?

I really don't think this is a gender thing. When alive, my mum was a driver..my dad has never learnt. When I met my husband he didn't own a car. My brother didn't learn to drive till he was 35, his girlfriend drove.

I don't/ can't drive. I'm also single so your post is irrelevant to me.

Most of the couples I know both parties can drive. But it's nearly always the man who does when they go anywhere. Unless it's somewhere where drink is involved. Then he drinks and she drives. I think that's mental!