FFS why don't you drive ??

[nextdoorconundrum]

So annoying to read threads on here that start with .. I don't drive .. my dp/DH does ..

Why why this is even a thing ? Does benefit of penis somehow render them more able to? Does their testosterone somehow benefit their abilities.. or is it simply something men regard as an essential in life ?

Before you all pile on .. yes there are certain disabilities that count you out . Severely visually impaired.. uncontrolled epilepsy.. but when one of my best mates who has spina bifida managed it with a hand controlled car via motability.. I think perhaps it's just not trying hard enough and happy for the man to do the driving .. even my autistic step son (severe - (special school until 21) got his license..

There is only one reason I can think not to bother - and that is because you are city dwellers with excellent public transportation .. but the rest of you .. why ? It just seems so 'weedy' .

Same I managed to pass I just made sure I had a thumb ring on one of my hands for reference

I don't get it either - but it's a personal thing isn't it, different things are important to different people.

I have epilepsy and I do drive, but have lost my license on two occasions which is hellish.

It baffles me that something I personally hold in such high regard - and am devastated to lose - other people don't seem to be bothered by. But totally appreciate that is a personal opinion, there are plenty of things I'm unfazed by that others can't live without 🤷🏻‍♀️

We have a car and I cannot drive. It certainly wasn't an essential skill when we were living in a city centre but it is now we have moved outside and have a DS with emerging additional needs.

I'm 29 and my main issue is lack of confidence, nerves, anxiety etc. I have taken many many lessons on and off since the age of 17. My last test was 5 years ago and my theory test expired shortly afterwards so I stopped. I have recently taken up lessons again and am determined to pass this time around. Despite my anxiousness I will persevere as I need to be able to get my son to and from school safely when he starts next year, he is my main motivation. I have my theory test tomorrow so fingers crossed!

It's also quite expensive, I'm paying £80 per week for my lessons so I'm sure finances are a big factor for some as well.

I absolutely do not request or take lifts from others whatsoever, the only person ferrying me around is my husband who assures me that this doesn't bother him at all. I'm inclined to believe him as he can be very to the point if something is bothering him.

I literally had this conversation with a distant family member last weekend she was most shocked that I can't drive and the way she spoke to me made me feel like shit. I really don't see how it affects anyone else whatsoever, people have really odd attitudes about it. Live and let live is what I say.

I also don't think it's very common at all, at least not in my circles. I'm the only woman I know who does not drive whilst having a car at home.

We were poor but my brother and I learned as soon as we turned 17 with our birthday money and worked to get an old banger to drive It's a life skill

Same here
I am not 'from money' . Dad died when I was 13 and mum was in the social until all were at school. Driving at 17 was prioritised above holidays or any other luxury.

Who the fuck do you two think you are, looking down your noses at people? It’s not a life skill at all. Tying your shoe laces is a life skill. Learning to drive is something that you’re lucky to be able to do.

I didn’t learn when I was 17 because there was no birthday money to spend on lessons and nobody to teach me. There were no holidays or other luxuries to prioritise either, and every penny I earned went to feeding and clothing my siblings and keeping a roof over my head. Driving and saving for a car was so far down the list of priorities it didn’t even make the top twenty.

And then when I lived with partners who could drive, it was either a case of the car being too posh for a learner (which, to be fair, it was and I can’t imagine I’d ever have been insured on it), the car meaning too much to the owner to risk being driven by a learner driver, the partner not wanting me to have any independence or, currently, him leaving for work at 5am, him not being a big drinker so quite happy to drive and, having paid only £325 for it four years ago, knowing we’d never be able to get a similar workhorse for that price if I damaged it while I was learning.

So those are my reasons for not driving. As I’m not asking you for lifts, I don’t care whether you think those reasons are justified or not, but I can assure you that none have been related to my partner being the holder of a penis.

Yes, @bozzabollix i know a few people who are really just happy to be driven about. Although they claim anxiety about driving.

Most people are anxious about driving at some points and when they start, or going somewhere new, it’s not unusual.

I also can’t be doing with people who can drive but won’t do motorways

It really depends on how you were living before.

Before moving to the UK as a teen/young adult we had fantastic public and private transport , plus a big group of friends happy to walk miles everywhere. Travelled the country (mountains ,seaside and countryside)in trains or on minibuses, went on holiday by myself with just a backpack, went uni in a different city, had a night shift job etc. We were all fiercely independent and to be fair, it was mostly the wealthy kids (so very few in my group) that went for driving lessons and got bought a car as a status symbol/extra because there simply was no need.

I let my husband drive since I'm completely blind and the DVLA weirdly won't issue me with a driving license, can't think why!

@Everlore that’s definitely a good reason 😂

Only if you define 'ferried' as going somewhere in a car with someone who wants to go in the car. There's no necessity or desire on my part.

I think there needs to be a place in the New Years Honours list for people who can drive. We need to recognise the ‘achievements and service of extraordinary people across the UK’.

I don’t drive and my husband didn’t drive until a few years ago in his 40s.

A colleague once said to me “I always think you’re not a proper adult if you can’t drive” and looked all smug so I loved replying with “It’s funny, I think you’re not a proper adult if your mummy and daddy pay for you to learn, pay for your insurance and pay for your car” (she lives at home and has no idea of cost of anything!)

Where I am lessons are £80/90 a time 2 hour ones because the actual test place is further away and once you're beyond the basics you need to be doing the test routes. It's very expensive plus if you're having to pay childcare to do the lessons. Some instructors don't work weekends so that's then taking time off work.

Its not easy. Not everyone had the chance when they were young. So many reasons.

I also can’t be doing with people who can drive but won’t do motorways

Do you have to drive CFs on the motorway regularly? I can see how that would be tedious. People should make their own way if they can’t do motorways rather than relying on you.

My husband can’t drive, he needs to go somewhere that isn’t walkable he either gets a bus, metro or train, or sometimes a combination of. I’d say as he’s an adult with a professional career, moved country twice, bought his first home at 23 and adopted two children means he is an independent adult.

That's just silly and not remotely comparable.

I know plenty of people who don't drive due to disability or trauma.

They are all amazing people who contribute a huge amount to society and work tremendously hard despite astonishing adversity.

If anything give the battles they go through they are far more "adult" than most drivers I know and certainly more adult than someone swanning around in their oversized SUV churning out pollutants and taking up three parking spaces or some nitwit 20 year old who thinks the speed limit is a minimum speed and that drug /drunk driving is a bit of a giggle

I spend my life driving people who choose not to drive around

But that’s a ridiculous extreme @CassandraWebb

Mos people just drive their normal
cars around normally

I also can’t be doing with people who can drive but won’t do motorways

I really don't see how that affects other people unless you have to do all the driving.

Well, you need to learn how to say no then. Like a proper independent adult.

They are hardly extreme examples, every time I go past a car park round here there's some nobber in an SUV taking up three spaces.

My point is - it's not inherently virtuous to drive. It depends how you drive, what purpose you are driving for and what you choose to drive.

It's a dangerous and polluting activity, it's weird to pay yourself on the head for doing it (I say that as someone who can drive but would always choose a more environmentally friendly and less polluting option where possible)

Quite

I definitely think less of anyone who chooses to drive when a reasonable public transport option exists.

@ShelfService i just harbour bitterness and vent my bile on the internet 😂

Seriously, they’re always promising to drive but never do… it’s taking its toll!

Quite.

Honestly it's horrifying how dependent people are on their cars.