He does not want to work

[what2do2donow]

AIBU to think he does not want to work?

Ok he stopped working because of arthritis and he was on sick pay insurance for 3 years (half his monthly salary paid monthly) not enough to look after a family of 4

Yes his leg is not great but I think there are jobs he can still do but refused

His insurance pay is now finished and I said to him to do some sport coaching training so that he can volunteer at our sons running club or football club or just train our son or just to stay active as advised by the doctor but he said he can't do the training because of his leg.

I said take a small customer service remote job he said no

I said do meta blue print training or the Google version online, he said no.

He is home all day everyday watching TV and hasn't missed and football matches in 3 years .

AIBU here? Because, I don't see any reason y he can't find a job to do at all. He is very lazy and would rather wallow in poverty than
get up and work.

Pls can anyone suggest any other job that someone with arthritis (knee) can do?

Who is he? Boyfriend/son/husband/friend.
If you're funding whoever it is, just stop.

How do I stop funding?

He is a common law partner/husband we have 2 kids both under 13.

Do I cook meals just for me and the kids?🤦🏾‍♀️

Asking someone with arthritis to volunteer for sports coaching is madness.

That aside there are other jobs that are possible that don't need movement.

What is the situation overall? Is he son/husband/boyfriend?

If he's worked 30 years before getting arthritis and you have never worked then maybe it's your turn,

If you've financially supported the family all your life and he's never earned much then I'd be on at him to get some money coming un,

Quite frankly it's no use people suggesting jobs when he obviously doesn't want to work! It's not arthritis in the knee that's stopping him, plenty of people have that, if it's bad enough a knee replacement is the answer, otherwise you do what I do. On state pension but nhs therapist who still does some shifts, if in pain I take ibruphren and carry on 🤷‍♀️

Do you struggle for money? It sounds like he's retired tbh

There’s no such thing as a “common-law” husband. You’re not married and your boyfriend is leeching off of you.

No such thing as common law - he’s your partner?
so do you both own or rent a house
you’re working and he’s refusing to?

Kick the lazy fucker out.

He's home all day and you do the cooking?

There is no such thing as a common-law partner.

What is your housing situation? He doesn’t want to work irrespective of bright ideas people may contribute on here. He wants to be a lazy bastard and watch TV. You either put up with it and fund him or you leave and run your own household.

Why isn’t he cooking and doing housework? - I mean we know why. I can’t imagine he brings you joy so I’d Marie Kondo him if possible.

Yeah, if it's your property boot him out. He's just a boyfriend, no legal ties. Common law is not a thing, you have to choose to opt in to legal protections.

As everyone else has said there is no such thing as a common law partner.

What you have is a cocklodger.

Ok he stopped working because of arthritis and he was on sick pay insurance for 3 years (half his monthly salary paid monthly) not enough to look after a family of 4
Are you working?

The coaching might sound like madness but I was thinking maybe the online courses and then he a got the idea/basics/fundamentals of the sport and he can at least talk our son through it at home when they are playing in the garden 🤷🏽‍♀️

He's in his mid 40's and only worked low paid jobs for about 10 years only before the arthritis

The knee is not great and swollen and sometimes needs to be drained. The only medication that worked almost killed him due of severe allergy that for him hospitalised for almost a week 2 years ago.

Since we have been together, I have been the main person bringing in the income .

Are you working?

So you are surviving on your wage only?

He sounds lazy. I can’t work due to autism but I make sure I do everything in the house and to do with the dc and all admin etc . He sounds like he’s just watching football? Maybe have a stronger worded conversation and give him an ultimatum?

Mid forties ? Lazy b***d.

If he's not working why are you doing the cooking? He's a lazy, selfish arse. Kick him out OP.

There's no such thing as a common law husband. He's your boyfriend or fiancé if engaged.

Ask yourself - what positive impact is he having in your life? If he's at home is he doing all the housework, cooking all the meals? Doing all the childcare?

Yes I am working from home

He does the sch runs and some errands

My plan is to move out with the kids but I want to know if perhaps IABU expecting him to work with his bad knee or if perhaps offered a work idea suitable for his condition he would actually work.

Because I have seen him put in a 100% in last job before 🤷🏽‍♀️

Does the sch runs and some other errands

Is he claiming PiP/Low capacity to work? Is he actually signed off work officially? Because if he is you’re being unreasonable. If you feel he’s actually mooching that’s a different matter, you may as well separate because he doesn’t sound like he’s bringing much to the relationship.

Taxi driving could be the way to go. My DP has severe mobility issues, previous stroke and it was about the only job he could do. He occasionally did mini bus driving for disabled clients for the LA. He should be running the house.