To take a phone call when food is ready?

[garlicgirl]

Was I being unreasonable?

My dp was cooking us a nice dinner. Laid the table, home cooked food etc.

About five mins before food was ready, my 80 year old mum called me. She was firstly telling me about her doctors appointment and health issues. Then she went on to ask for help about something in her house. It took me a long time to explain to her how to fix something.

So dp had brought the food into the dining room (open plan with living room) when I sat on the sofa and spoke to mum. I told dp to just start eating.

By the time I’d finished my conversation with mum, he’d finished his dinner on his own and went off in a huff that the phone call could have waited until after the meal he’d made for us to eat together.

"Hiya mum, I'm juggling pans right now and in the middle of cooking, if it's not something urgent can I call you back after lunch and have a chat? love ya" then you call her after lunch. If you were my partner I'd also pissed off.

Incredibly rude.

I has an ex who used to keep talking on the phone when I had cooked dinner.

Note he's an ex.

Is this a reverse?? If it's not then you are spectacularly lacking in manners OP!

Team partner here too. We had a no phones over meals rule. It got suspended if any of our parents were ill and we'd always pick up and say Hi are you ok can I call you back? Apologise for you bad manners.

YABVU.

My mum is also 80 and if she called me five minutes before dinner I’d either let it go to voicemail and call back after I’d eaten, or I’d answer but then when dinner appeared I’d say “Mum, DP’s just put our tea on the table - I’ll ring you back afterwards”.

It’s really rude to sit there chatting on the phone when someone else has cooked a meal for you. I’d be really pissed off and a bit hurt if my partner did that.

I am with your partner on this one, sorry. We have a no phone zone at meal times.

You wasn't unreasonable to answer the phone, it could have been urgent but once it was established it was not an emergency matter, it would have been more polite to tell your mum that you will call back after you have eaten.

I'm waiting for the reveal that will shock no-one that this is a reverse. If on the small off chance this isn't a reverse I'm shocked that you don't realise how rude this is OP. Surely you can see if you reversed the roles that you would be mightily fucked off? Sometimes my mum phones me just before dinner, Sometimes it's me calling her. We both just check the other is OK then say we'll call back after dinner. Not surprised at all that your DP was pissed off with you.

You should have done one of two things - either said to mum you were just about to eat and you'd call her back in 20 minutes or so, or said to DP that you knew mum would need to talk about her medical thing so if he didn't mind you're going to take the call.

Either way, you were rude.

You’re in the wrong. I’d have not bothered to answer.

This.

Yabu. And really rude.

My mother would be telling me about aunt Edna’s cousin’s neighbour’s dog-in-law, so yes I’d either leave it or ask her to call me back.

My dp was cooking us a nice dinner. Laid the table, home cooked food etc.

Obvious reverse, or you wouldn’t have mentioned all this. Why don’t you just say it like it is, it’s so annoying.

Look at that, 5 pages of YABU and not a return from the OP...

Ah, yes, I forgot about them...

bit of a redundant reverse if it is....either way my answer would be the same.

And here is one!

I'm sure you'd also think it was rude if you'd cooked your husband a meal, and he'd left it to go and take a long phone call.

But I also think the OP is probably a reverse.

Let me teach you some manners since your mum (and/or dad) apparently failed to:

"Mum, John has just put dinner on the table so I'm going to go and eat, I'll give you a call back in 20 mins to help you with your WiFi ok? Love you!"

See, it's so easy not to be horribly rude!

Really rude. Either don’t answer or say we are just about to eat I’ll ring you back.

I’m calling reverse.

Incredibly rude.

Yeah, unless it was an emergency the sentence "DP just cooked dinner, I'll call you back after" should have been used, if you absolutely had to answer it.

I don't think this is a fragile male ego issue here. Whether the cook is male or female, non-urgent phone chat when someone has gone to the effort of cooking is rude. Its not about giving medals, its just basic respect.

Oh, don’t be so ridiculous.

Yes that's rude. Fair enough to answer given it's your mum and her age, but once you'd checked it wasn't an emergency, you should have said you were about to eat, and you'd call her back.

WappityWabbit · Today 09:07
You were not unreasonable to prioritise chatting to your 80yr old MUM.
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So he made the dinnner. Big fucking deal! Does he get a Gold medal to go with that too??
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Why do so many women prioritise the feelings of a sulky petulant man instead of telling them to get over themselves and grow up? How depressing”

Whats depressing is how angry you must be.