To take a phone call when food is ready?

[garlicgirl]

Was I being unreasonable?

My dp was cooking us a nice dinner. Laid the table, home cooked food etc.

About five mins before food was ready, my 80 year old mum called me. She was firstly telling me about her doctors appointment and health issues. Then she went on to ask for help about something in her house. It took me a long time to explain to her how to fix something.

So dp had brought the food into the dining room (open plan with living room) when I sat on the sofa and spoke to mum. I told dp to just start eating.

By the time I’d finished my conversation with mum, he’d finished his dinner on his own and went off in a huff that the phone call could have waited until after the meal he’d made for us to eat together.

My Dad’s mid eighties. He and I regularly say to one another “can I call you back in half an hour” when a meal is ready, someone is at the door or there’s any other real life situation that means we can’t take a phone call.

You were extremely rude and disrespectful to your partner.

It sounds like he was putting effort in - laid table and home cooked food. If it had been oven chips and frozen pizza, maybe the phone call would have been ok. But it doesn’t sound like that sort of meal.
I think I would have been annoyed if I were your DH too.
We never answer the phone at meal times.

You're lucky your dinner didn't go in the bin.
So rude.

You were really rude. It wasn’t an emergency you should have called back after you ate.

So rude.

YABU. I can understand you answering it, in case it was an emergency, but as it wasn't, you should have said "mum, I am about to eat my tea, I will call you back later".

I never answer the phone if I am eating or busy.

I'm curious about the 2% who don't think it was rude.

This is a reverse surely?!

Yes it’s very rude, as you surely know.

Are you trying to provoke a divorce?! Just see a solicitor like a normal person. Or if you aren’t apologise now for being a dick.

You were rude. Your H had made an effort and you ignored it for a natter. Answering to check it wasn’t an emergency - fine. Keeping talking when it wasn’t an urgent call - not fine. I would have been hurt of my H had done that to me.

Sorry but this was really rude of you . I don’t blame your DH for reacting how he did.

This must be a reverse, surely?!

Of course you were rude, you should've told her that you'd call her back after dinner.

@garlicgirl my dh literally does this all the time!!! every bloody mealtime, seven days a week!! it drives me nuts. there is no need to answer the phone to all and sundry the minute it rings but if you do prefer to answer it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying that you will call back after dinner because you are just about to eat!!! you are definitely the ah here!! I dont even put his food in the oven now to keep it warm. if he wants cold food, so be it!

If it had been a basic meal in front of the tv then I wouldn't care. A nice meal at the table then yes a bit rude

YABU. Answer the phone, find out it wasn't urgent (she wasn't lying on the bathroom floor with a broken hip) and ask her to call you back in an hour, or you call her back.

You are not allowing for the "men are always in the wrong" brigade.

“Hey Mum, is this an emergency? No? Boris has just brought dinner through, I’ll call you back in 1/2hr when I’ve finished. Love you! Bye”.

Unless it was an emergency, it was rude to take the call when dinner was ready.

I do think the majority of AIBU are simple communication issues, of which this is one.

Apologise to DH and move on.

Rude. Answer the phone, tell Mum food is on the table and you'll ring back later.

The normal thing in our house is if it's family, you answer it then say you'll call them
Back because you're about to have dinner and we never answer calls during dinner.
It's respectful to those you're sharing that mealtime with and it's setting boundaries and priorities for yourself.
I can guarantee that most people I know would do the same. Even my mum. I'd get a call back saying "sorry I couldn't take your call. I was having my dinner"

So rude. But I’m sure it’s a reverse.

Very rude of you to your husband, assuming this isn't a reverse.

If it is for real, you owe him a big apology. You should have just established that your mother was OK with no emergency and then told her you would call her back later because your dinner was ready. No need for a drawn out conversation while the meal your husband had made the effort to Cook went cold. I'd say the same if the roles were reversed and you had cooked the meal.

I'd have at least considered binning your meal.

I would answer and saw that I would call back in 20 minutes

If it was a work call I wouldn't be annoyed, but mums jabbering on about nothing for ages boils my piss at the best of times.

Rude! Your mum being 80 is irrelevant, assuming she's in good health, you could've just said, I'll call you back after I've eaten.

I'd have started without you, I hate cold food.

You were not unreasonable to prioritise chatting to your 80yr old MUM.

So he made the dinnner. Big fucking deal! Does he get a Gold medal to go with that too??

Why do so many women prioritise the feelings of a sulky petulant man instead of telling them to get over themselves and grow up? How depressing!