Would this annoy you- husband - plane seats

[airc]

We went away recently, 3 hour flight.

It turned out our seats were not together.

My husband was on his own at the back and I had two seats, one for me and my 1 year old son on my lap and one for my 3 year old.

When we sat down, I said- don't worry I'll be fine. Let's see how it goes, maybe we can swap. Come and see us when we are up there.

He did not move from his seat once. I saw him go to the toilet. But not ONCE did he come up to our row, ask how we are OR take one of the children.

I was furious.

AIBU ?

That just would never have occurred to us though, we would've been flipping coins or bartering over getting the 3yo and two seats rather than the 1yo on a lap. I would've lost because DH is tall and uncomfortable on planes as it is, and I would have banked it for something else.

The fact that OP taking the two DC while the DH chilled alone isn't a great sign for the bigger picture, even if he was totally going to come and check on them.

You should have given him the baby to go on his knee. It’s done now. If you have a return leg pay the extra for assigned seating together. If not it’s a lesson for the future. Always communicate a clear plan of action and expectations, not “it’ll be fine let’s see how we go” kind of plans. And always pay the extra to secure seats together.

Is nobody else thinking it was only a three hour flight, the dc might have whinged if split up and constantly would have wanted to trail between mummy and daddy if that were the case which would have been and usually is a complete pita for the other passengers? That's something dh and I always sought to avoid.

20 minutes take off, 20 minutes landing, 45 minutes with trolleys in the aisles leaves about an hour and three quarters of sole supervision of two infants and the op doesn't mention that either became fretful.

The lady next to the op should have kept it zipped and been a little more supportive.

Also, was there a long drive to the final destination and was the dh driving it? If so, the arrangement may have been fair.

I've hears far worse. Friends of ours with three dc boarded a flight back to Hong Kong where they were living and started in economy. The DH had work next day and could claim first class. He upgraded himself and left his wife with three under five. They have been married happily for 35 years.

There's good reason for that. Think about it.

I fly regularly from the UK to Aus and back with my kids so yes I have a bit of a warped idea on this as well. 3 hours on the plane is nothing 😂

excellent point

I’d be furious! Doesn’t take much to just check on the parent with the children. We were separated on a flight once and my husband took both of ours as he’s a better flyer. I went and checked on them about 5 times! Seeing if they needed anything and offering to help.

I just can’t imagine my husband being so fucking selfish. I’m really sorry, OP. He’s subpar.

Rookie error.

On the way back you should have put him in a seating arrangement with the kids and YOU get to sit by yourself for the return leg of the journey.

Anything else and you're just kicking the can down the road a bit until the next time.

I can't imagine my dh thinking I needed help and supervision on a three hour flight and that he had to check on my wellbeing if there was no evidential cause for concern. I'm more independent and resilient than that.

Not really, if you had read OP’s updates

So why didn't you give him one of the kids? The lady would had to have moved if you needed the toilet also. You could have asked the steward/ess to get your husband. So many variables including your husband coking to see you during the flight but instead you just sat there. Why?

RTFT - OP has already answered this. Twice. 🙄

I agree. I did 24hrs once with both of mine.

That's the most irritating thing, people constantly getting up and blocking the aisle because they're talking. Have some consideration for other passengers and the cabin crew. Getting up 5 times is bloody ridiculous.

Lovely Friday post for the man haters today hahaha.
I've had similar, my DP said he didn't want to come over and get the girls riled up or excited/noisy because they were pretty well behaved - but he took them for the return flight which suited me better because I was shattered and they were NOT quiet coming home for daddy ha 😀

@airc I would also be annoyed and let down.
What was his reasoning for not coming? There can't be ANY good one!

This.

If you are already back, however busy you are there must have been time for a conversation.

Why an earth didn’t you just give him the baby in the first place? Or you go in the single seat with the baby and leave toddler and DP in the 2 seats. If everything kicked off make a change but at least start things off equal. He’s not going to step up unless you start imposing a bit of equality from the outset.

I'm the resilient, independent type, but the year our DC were 3 and 1 nearly killed me (and him). If one or both of the DC were in bad form it would have been a very very long 3 hours, and yes DH would've come to check in on us rather than sitting in blissful ignorance. Because he's not a selfish arsehole.

To give YOU a break?
Aren't they his kids as well?

Why not book seats together?
You should have taken one child each but I don’t understand why half way through you didn’t go and see him and say your turn now.

Let him do tge return leg whilst you relax at the back. You need to have a plan so that he parents his children.

I don’t think you and a random stranger thinking your DH’s behaviour towards you is selfish and unacceptable is funny.

Is there other issues here?

I’m sorry, but people doing this are just so incredibly annoying to other passengers and crew members. Just sit down, and only get up if needed.