Would this annoy you- husband - plane seats

[airc]

We went away recently, 3 hour flight.

It turned out our seats were not together.

My husband was on his own at the back and I had two seats, one for me and my 1 year old son on my lap and one for my 3 year old.

When we sat down, I said- don't worry I'll be fine. Let's see how it goes, maybe we can swap. Come and see us when we are up there.

He did not move from his seat once. I saw him go to the toilet. But not ONCE did he come up to our row, ask how we are OR take one of the children.

I was furious.

AIBU ?

This should never have happened in the first place. You should have been in his seat with baby and he should have sat with your toddler (or the other way around). Unless you couldn’t sit in the other seat (emergency exit row). I really don’t think “clinginess” would be a strong enough reason to have them both with you.

What are you talking about? OP had a 1 year old on her lap for the entire time. If you travel with a child 2 or under they don’t have to have a separate seat and even if you do they are expected to be on your lap for takeoff and landing.

I wonder why they’re clingy with you 🤔

Maybe because their father doesn’t get as involved as he should.

So what has he said OP, does he think he was in the right?

Not necessarily.
I think if the partner had been female, everyone would still be feeling the same.

It's the selfishness

Nothing illegal about it at all. Older child was in his own seat and younger child was a lap-child. No law saying that said lap had to be mom's or had to be sitting next to the older child. In fact, airline would probably prefer not to have on parent with both children - much better in an emergency if each parent was responsible for one child.

I remember holding a sicky baby up and down that aisle for a four hour flight and my husband didn’t once get up. People kept looking at me and I thought they were admiring my patience 🤣. When I got off the flight I realised they were probably wondering why the fuck my husband didn’t move once. This was 15 years ago now and he’s an excellent husband. We’d just fallen into a situation where it was all my problem 🤣

It never happened again, in fact I sit the kids with him as they’re all massive introverts and I love chatting to new people.

What's not possible? A baby on a dad's knee?

So you booked seats together and they changed it on you?

All of this.

You somehow took both children when you could have had one each. Why??

Did the lady next to you have a carer travelling with her to help her to move in case you needed to leave your seat for any reason? I’d feel quite trapped in that situation esp having the responsibility for the care of 2 children. Your other half should have taken one child to sit on his lap.

Of course you could have gotten up, don’t be so wet!
I would have walked down to him and deposited the baby for the second half, not just waited optimistically.
He was being a lazy sod for sure.

Let me guess, they're clingy to you because he does fuck all of the day to day parenting?

So what's his explanation?

Tbh I think he should have had one of the children. The 1 yo is on a lap anyway so there's no reason the parent sitting in the single seat couldn't have had a child. I think it's silly you ended up with 2.

Then you ask a member of staff

Why oh why wouldn’t you have the little one on the lap of the parent on their own and the older one with the other parent? If your DH didn’t hear any screaming or you didn’t ask the staff to get his attention it’s no wonder he stayed put.

Why are posters asking why the OP didn't have a child each. Er because it was the OP understanding that they would swap or at least, she will be checked upon.

All the replies are so infuriating, acting as though she had a crystal ball. Also, who are you to decide what decisions are made best for a family you have no idea about?

🙄

Since you are already back, what do you want with this thread? Is it for your husband to read so we can all tell him he was an arse?

Never assume anything with a man !

This

100%

This. What a bell end.

I'm quite surprised at the number of pp having a go at OP.
Before they took off OP had every reason to believe her DH was decent and caring and would indeed come and check up during the flight as to whether all was OK or if he could help.
She discovered during the flight she was wrong and that he is infact capable of being selfish and uncaring about her and the children's welfare.
I think OP has every right to feel let down.

I don’t think YABU because your husband has showed you what a selfish man he really is.

However, I do think that you should have put your hand in your pocket and paid for seats to sit together as a family.

That’s poor form in my opinion .