Would this annoy you- husband - plane seats

[airc]

We went away recently, 3 hour flight.

It turned out our seats were not together.

My husband was on his own at the back and I had two seats, one for me and my 1 year old son on my lap and one for my 3 year old.

When we sat down, I said- don't worry I'll be fine. Let's see how it goes, maybe we can swap. Come and see us when we are up there.

He did not move from his seat once. I saw him go to the toilet. But not ONCE did he come up to our row, ask how we are OR take one of the children.

I was furious.

AIBU ?

On the way back he can look after the kids.

On the plus side, turbulence is much worse at the back of the plane, so I hope it was a bumpy ride! 😆

Don’t really because sadly in an emergency that could be three people dead rather than one

Do you know what my favourite thing on this post is ? All the replies about how this mum who had 2 children with her , should’ve done all the extra work to make sure her husband helped her , she should’ve took them to him , she should’ve called an attendant , she should’ve made the frail elderly woman move . How about the dad yes the male person in this relationship who you will all shout has 50/50 rights to his kids actually do what he agreed to and bloody help , why why why do you keep giving men a free pass and then keep blaming the woman , and no I’m not a man hater far from it , I am married have 2 children and husband with a bloody brain who thinks for himself and doesn’t expect me to do it all .

How about if you needed the toilet?
I know when we travelled with children they were up and down all the time going to the toilet!

this husband is a first class arsehole.

Firstly, book your seats and this wont happen. And if you know you arent together, sort this shit out beforehand!

Secondly, who is wandering about the plane on a 3 hour flight?!? Hes in a middle seat and to disturb the aisle passenger plus get in the road of the trolley to check on you?

Lol what a pair!

He is a selfish so-and-so and you a poor communicator.

Next time, pay for seats together or tell him explicitly he’s taking the baby and when.

He is far too inconsiderate to do it without you asking or telling him what you want.

Sadly, this oblivious chap is expecting her to do it all.

YANBU for him not checking up on you and showing concern but I can’t help but think some of the comments here are way over the top for the following reasons:

• I don’t think you can just move the baby to be with the iother adukt as not every seat has an extra oxygen mask, babies need to be in their allocated seats
• you imply that you chose to have the infant and child when choosing the seats as they are clingy towards you (so unlikely you were going to swap)
• DH could only have checked on you once or twice as would be in the way of stewardess most of the time and not safe to be stood up (did you see the massive incident with turbulence recently?} and even then to the point above would you have swapped, what did you want him to do?

Honestly if a baby and a toddler are too much for one adult, you have to orebook seats. If too late for the return trip. Make sure you allocate one adult with the child and one with the infant

Why be a martyr? Why not just be clear. Why volunteer yourself for something then complain when people go along with it. She said it was OK then got annoyed when he took her at her word

It's is now IMPOSSIBLE to get seated with your partner and kids on planes. We tried to pay for seats together, there were none as lots of people have checked in. We phone easyJet and they said they couldn't do anything and we had to just let the flight attendant know. My 5 year old was at the front of the plane, my 3 year old on my lap and my husband at the back. No one offered to move. Really awful situation. Fortunately my husband asked a guy who wanted the leg room to swap with my 5 yo. Just mad. I feel for the OP - no way my husband wouldn't check in. But added to that, I would have dumped the kids on him! Not waited!

Yes always a good idea if you can’t get seats together to book some desirable seats that others might be happy to swap with!

How come your 3 year old was on your lap when they would be required to have their own seat?

Was there a problem for you on the flight? Did you need a reprieve?
It just strikes me that you had this flight, had your whole holiday and are now back home but you’re still going on about this!
Did you discuss it while you were away?
Was it resolved? If so, why post about it now?
If it hasn’t been resolved, that’s your issue now - not the original flight.

Bit confused!

…. Oh my!

either you get a nice peaceful return trip without helping him once! Or you are not being unreasonable, he needed to take one kid. Single seat gets the 1yo, double seat gets the 3yo.

no excuse bro!

I'm trying to work out why the op couldn't just walk down the aisle to husband and tell him to either swap or hand him the baby?

You did say you'd be fine.

At 8 and 11 mine are older now so no real issue but although I was secretly relieved last week when he was next to kids and I was in the aisle opposite alone. However couple came next to me window and middle she had a huge hand luggage under her seat and kept on pushing her legs towards my area. At least you can tell your kids off and not feel funny about it

No I’d be saying - do you want to sit here with the older DC or at the back with baby on lap. And demand swapping halfway. Just wouldn’t be an option to sit on his own at back.

That's true 😁

Esh...

• poor planning when booking your plane tickets.... if you want to sit together, choose your seats
• could have kindly asked the person in the same row as you if they would be willing to swap
• he can't be stood in the aisle visiting you, planes don't have a lot of room as it is, other passengers need to be able to pass.
• You're annoyed at him... but you literally told him "don't worry, I'll be fine". He's not a mind reader, you could have asked him to take the 1 year old on his lap.

Yes, he could have come and checked on you quickly, but you could have also taken your toddler for a stroll down the aisle to visit him or ask him for a reprieve rather than sitting there fuming at him, especially since he was up the back where there is generally a bit more room because often there are toilets etc there.. you didn't communicate your needs.

If you're that upset at him, fine, but communicate with your partner. Tell him you're annoyed and ask him to help out more on the flight back.

It's really not impossible.

I recently flew EasyJet. We checked in as soon as check in opened, and the four of us were seated together, without paying to reserve seats, both ways.

Ryanair, I'm pretty sure, deliberately make it impossible unless you pay to book seats, but if you book and check in early enough with other carriers, you should be fine.

Not acceptable or justifiable under any circumstances.

Cheering this post to the heavens

FinalInstructionstotheAudience 'incandescent', God I absolutely love that word !!!

Just got back from a trip to the US. During my stay I flew from Florida to California

there was a family of 4 in my row. Mum next to me, tiny baby, dad over the other side of aisle with toddler.

dad took turns with mum, baby slept on mum for a bit, then woke up and had a bit of a niggle, dad took baby, baby slept, mum slept.

I was delighted to see this, it was 2 parents totally sharing the role. At times he had both kids and mum slept.

I almost said something, we were chatting on and off, but then I thought, no. This is the way it’s supposed to be, it should not be the exception. We shouldn’t need to praise men for parenting. After all, no bugger ever praises women for doing it.