Would this annoy you- husband - plane seats

[airc]

We went away recently, 3 hour flight.

It turned out our seats were not together.

My husband was on his own at the back and I had two seats, one for me and my 1 year old son on my lap and one for my 3 year old.

When we sat down, I said- don't worry I'll be fine. Let's see how it goes, maybe we can swap. Come and see us when we are up there.

He did not move from his seat once. I saw him go to the toilet. But not ONCE did he come up to our row, ask how we are OR take one of the children.

I was furious.

AIBU ?

If you're a parent, do you sit back and wait for the other parent of your children to present you with a plan for their care? Do you think you're being 'nice' when you look after your own children? If so, are you a woman?

So you are home now. What has your husband said to explain his behaviour?

Would have been nice if he had someone else's screeching baby or chatty Cathy next to him!!

Most men are like this. It doesn't occur to them that their DP needs help with the DC - not so much selfish as totally out of it.

You mean the women calling out shitty behaviour? Fucking right we are.

Weve just been away. My dh sat between our two kids on one side the whole time and I sat across the aisle. He dealt with my daughters anxiety and kept her calm giving me space to allow me to deal with my own.

What did he say when you challenged him on it, @airc ?

If you couldn't get up because the lady was disabled, how could you get up to change a nappy or go to the toilet? All the posters saying he should have checked , she might've wanted to go to the loo, how, she couldn't move
I wouldn't have been furious, and even if I were I'd just have said. "Geez Steve, I would have appreciated it of you at least came to check on us during the short window that you could've. It felt inconsiderate of you. I know I said we'd be fine but I really thi k it's would have been the loveble thing to do."
End of.
Not sulk for days and ask feminists their opinion

I thought this too. It actually makes me panicky to think of being hemmed in on the inside of someone with mobility issues. Yes, most importantly, in case of an emergency where you have to get yourself - and your children - off the plane quickly. But also just if you need the loo!

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing yeah it's true, it was kind of weird. She had her family members sitting behind and in the isle opposite. But she did struggle to get out, she needed a lot of assistance which is why I didn't want to bother her, so just stayed put. But yes if I had insisted, they'd have helped her get out. I just didn't want to bother her.

If you really needed to get up then the woman would have had to move for you so if you needed husband she’ll you should have insisted that she move or asked the steward to help/go get him. This situation wouldn’t have bothered me. I would probably had said once we got there though for husband to take the kids for a few hours whilst I had a rest or did something by on my own to recharge.

And interesting they all opted not to be in a position where they couldn’t get out, ie not on the inside of someone with mobility problems

However, I’m wildly claustrophobic, so perhaps ignore me!

He probably would have been there the whole time because he loves us.

Are you saying he would stand there hovering in the aisle the whole flight because he loves you?

Ditto

Sorry meant to quote @Hobbitfeet32

This.

loving you is one thing but it shouldn’t override being considerate to other passengers. Who wants someone hovering in the aisle next to them the whole flight.

Crew members would very quickly put an end to this and tell him to sit down in his own seat. He’d have to bottle up his endless love for a while.

Sometimes MN is just batshit crazy.

We were in similar circumstances twice: booked our holiday too close due to uncertainty with work commitments and couldn’t book 3 seats together. So we booked 2 for DD and I and aisle seat for DH. Our DD is older teen but she has additional needs and terrible anxiety around flying. So DH asked people next to him both times and they swapped. First time he went to us but second time we went to him as it was easier swap. Without swap he would come and check for sure. If we go by train and sit separately he always does. I would think something happened with him tbh if he would not come after one hour of our journey.

😁 😁 😁

I’m assuming they meant it as “frequently” but you never know on MN!

No cos that would irritate everyone and I'd tell him to go chill. But I know he'd be back and forth checking in, swapping with me, taking the toddler off for a little walk, giving the baby a cuddle or to see some of the plane.

There is nothing worse than having people hovering over when it’s not their seat, so still annoying.

My DH also used to like the 3+1 flight scheme where I ended up between the two kids...

We now do 2+2 and swap kids on way in and out... much better

Seems like @airc doesn’t want to tell us what she said to her husband (nothing I suppose) and how he reacted to that (nothing as he got away with it).

We all think he was BU, but most of us think you didn’t help your own cause here.

Forget the lady with limited mobility, he was one call button away from you speaking to him. And if you decided not to do that… I don’t know what you expected to gain on this thread except attention. You’re not going to fix his selfish attitude here.

Two adults, two children, so you take one each. Either he has the 1 year old on his lap, or he takes the seat next to the toddler and you take the single seat with the 1 year old.