AIBU - not inviting everyone to the leaving do is a dick move

[Packingcubesqueen]

I work in a school. One of the other teachers is leaving. They have invited a group of people to their leaving do and left a few out. The people who have been invited are various ages and job positions (SLT, TAs, Teachers etc) she has basically just excluded a few people she doesn’t like (including me). I have never had any conflict with this person, there is no back story that I know of. I am often excluded from things but never with so many others being included. Usually about half of us aren’t invited. We are also having a lunch on her last day, that is for everyone. She didn’t organise the lunch.
YABU - it’s her leaving do she can invite who she likes
YANBU - it’s a dick move

Ofcourse she can invite who she likes even more so if there is already an event for everyone

Are the staff that have been invited ones she works more closely with?

if she already has a whole group leaving event planned then I don’t see an issue of her doing something just with her friends.

excluded a few people she doesn’t like (including me).

well knock me down with a feather!

There's an event for everyone so this is just for friends

Agree with you. I've had this and - perhaps childishly- regretted contributing to her leaving gift.

Projecting here but maybe there are a couple of colleagues who she really doesn't want to attend and so she leaves a fair few out so as not to appear pointed.

Like I say - projecting.😉

she is leaving OP

of course she isn’t going to invite people she doesn’t like and who don’t like her!

she has got zero motivation to do that.

She wants to say farewell to friends

and that… is completely reasonable

If this is a private event held off school grounds, of course she is entitled to only invite who she wants to.

There is a leaving do for everything. She is having a separate one with her colleagues whom she sees as friends. You aren’t her friend so why would you be invited?

Not more closely no. Just people she likes.

let me guess

her “leaving do” is to the pub for a few drinks with friends? a meal out?

who would want their night to say goodbye to those they care about and enjoyed working with spoilt by having to share the evening with someone that they don’t like and does nott like then

I wasn’t hiding that fact. Obviously this is why I’m posting.

She’s having an event in work with everyone.
she’s having an event out of work with people she classes as her friends.

she’s not being an arse here.

she has invited her friends to drinks / dinner

let her alone op!

She hasn’t left a fair few out most people are invited. Only a few of us are not invited.

why on earth would she invite people she does not like and who don’t like her…. to a farewell evening arranged by her and off site and out of hours??!!

So what’s wrong with that? Do you actually think it’s weird to go out with people from work that you like after your last day?

Why would she invite people she doesn’t like? You’re already having a lunch for everyone. That’s the obligatory event for someone leaving. She is then having a night out with people she likes. Leave it alone.

because she obviously is popular and gets o. with most people

She may not like me but I have no issue with her.

I’m happy to be childish - wouldn’t give a bean to someone who made it clear she didn’t like me 😆

I’d be super pleased if I wasn’t invited to leaving drinks for someone I obviously didn’t like and who didn’t like me. No idea why anyone wouldn’t be happy with that development

Smashing imo. No need to put in for a gift or buy any drinks...

So? It’s not about you. It’s not your night out. It’s hers, for her and colleagues she is friends with. Why are you trying to make it about you?

I hope you don’t come across quite to whiney at work.

Dick move.

Everyone knows you invite everyone to the afternoon work drink and then your actual friends stay out for the night.

I don’t know why everyone keeps saying I don’t like her. Until now I thought we got on fine. She and a group of others often go out but this time almost everyone has been asked except me and a few others. I think that’s a bit rude and unnecessary. It’s not like we don’t get on or have had any beef.