Friends have no interest in my child

[Hello12345677]

I have a group of friends I’ve been friends with since school. We are now heading into our thirties, a few of us are married or in long term relationships and a couple are still single. I am married and welcomed my first child at the end of last year. My friends were keen to know updates when I was pregnant but have shown little interest since born. My baby is approaching 7 months and they’ve met the baby once and some not at all. They have barely text to check in after the first month or so. I feel disappointed in them and let down. Am I being reasonable? Should I say something? Or should I let the friendships go?

I was the first out of my friendship group to have a baby. I remember feeling exactly the same as you when they showed no interest. They’ve only just started to show interest since either having their own kids or since my child turned 2 and became quite entertaining. I remember feeling like ditching these friendships but I’m glad I didn’t. It’s hard and feels so shit but it’s an unfortunate reality xxx

I’m acquainted with a woman who has a daughter.
She had huge, over-the-top birthday parties for the daughter and once even took parents and children to Disneyland for her daughter’s birthday.
She was very, very involved in her daughter’s class, all throughout her school career.
To her, she was involved.
To the rest of her acquaintances, she was pushy. She pushed her daughter onto and into everything and everyone.
No one likes pushy people.
Instead of winning friends, she made people resentful and annoyed, although she didn’t mean to.
Your child will grow up and develop friendships naturally and some will last and some won’t.
Don’t sweat the small stuff - join a play group or an exercise group or maybe even a parents group.
You’ll both be grand - just as you are. ❤️

she says the friends, or at least some of them, have children of their own.

I managed to meet my child free friends for coffee and lunch since I had a husband willing to look after his own baby, as does OP.

Yes. Don't let it fade out. Give them a second chance and get in contact.

I moved house, had a baby and a bereavement all that the same time and so busy and overwhelmed. I rang an old friend on a quiet day and was shocked to find she thought I had ghosted her. Luckily, We were able to talk about it. Mind you, she wasn't great at keeping in touch either. I think it takes effort on both sides, but you don't always know what's going on in people's lives, so its always worth asking.

Your friends seemed to have moved on, and perhaps that's what you should be doing as well. Meet new people, find new friends. If at this point in life where you've welcomed your first baby they're not there to celebrate you and your kid, maybe they don't deserve to be friends with you after all.

I must have missed this skim reading but what do her friends say when she suggests a child-free meet up with them?

When my friends had children before me I felt a bit like I was walking on eggshells about when to text, what to text etc. When I met up with them it was a hoo ha of them being flaky and late. I think you don’t get it til you have kids. Plus other people’s children are not that interesting. I honestly wouldn’t take it personally. Unless, of course, they’re actually just arseholes. Difficult to tell.

Thank you for the few kind posters that have some empathy. The rest of you are batshit crazy, I believe what you put out is what you should get back. If that’s unreasonable then I’m glad I don’t know you in RL. Maybe check in on your friends because maybe it’s a lonely time, maybe it isn’t easy to make baby friends, maybe you should care about your friends mental healths? Luckily I have a great family. I don’t think it’s hard to care about your friends but obviously I’m in minority.

My three babies have never met my group of friends from uni who I have met up with once a month since 1991. My eldest is 22 now 😁. My friends know we have kids but they aren't the focus of our meet ups.

Following that post they might not want to see you as you seem really rude

I HAVE NEVER SAID I WANT BABY TO BE FOCUS. HAPPY TO MEET WITH NO BABY?!

I found this when my first was born, suddenly women I'd never had much contact with wanted to talk about babies and I didn't even find my own a riveting topic. Trying to have any conversation with them on any other topic was impossible, it was like I'd been initiated into the maternal Freemasons!

I think she just seems hurt and frustrated,

I agree with the batshit crazy comment 🤣 seems like MN is full of selfish crappy friends tbh, bit surprising considering it's meant to be a community for mums!

I'm in my fifties now and I remember really clearly feeling like this. I questioned my friendships with some really close friends, who showed little or no interest in my baby. I was one of the first to have children in my group, at aged 28.
It's not until they had their own children that they started to show more interest. They were just absorbed in their own very busy lives and didn't really think outside of their own lives.
I just concentrated on my family and what was important to me. Don't get too worried about it. They will change if and when they have kids themselves.

Have you tried putting a msg in the group chat arranging a girls night out? Are they refusing to meet or have you not actually asked?

Have you asked them if they'd like to meet up? Or are you waiting to be asked?

I have a baby the same age, nearly 7 months. And some of my friends have met her some haven’t. I don’t care. Not everyone has to like and want to meet your baby. It’s not a big deal.

They were just absorbed in their own very busy lives and didn't really think outside of their own lives.
I just concentrated on my family and what was important to me.

So you behaved in exactly the same way as your friends then?

The OP has been a bit unclear in her posts but if you read them all, you will see she has asked them several times

There’s nothing more boring than other peoples’ children.

Like the others said, it's normal. Other people won't be half as interested in your kid as you are.