Friends have no interest in my child

[Hello12345677]

I have a group of friends I’ve been friends with since school. We are now heading into our thirties, a few of us are married or in long term relationships and a couple are still single. I am married and welcomed my first child at the end of last year. My friends were keen to know updates when I was pregnant but have shown little interest since born. My baby is approaching 7 months and they’ve met the baby once and some not at all. They have barely text to check in after the first month or so. I feel disappointed in them and let down. Am I being reasonable? Should I say something? Or should I let the friendships go?

I'd always keep in touch with new mother friends and ask after them and 'oooh' over a baby pic even if I wasn't that interested. I agree that other people don't find peoples' babies that interesting but they could feign some mild interest in the name of friendship.

They're friends with you because they like YOU, not your baby. Other people's kids are objectively pretty boring

Let the friendships go- and if they ask, say they’ve shown little
interest In your life, because it’s true, it’s not the baby, its your life and the baby is a big part of that now. Just like you hopefully take an interest in all they have going on.

I disagree with a lot of posters here - if your friends love you then they should at least show a passing interest in your baby. They’re rude not to have at least visited you since the baby was born. I’d be as hurt as you are.

By that token so are other peoples relationships, jobs and homes- but that’s friendship

I can't get excited about other people's children including family members .

See, this is a batshit attitude. She’s not asking them to befriend her child, just show a passing interest in her baby. It’s really not much to ask.

OP, find better friends.

Have you done any pre baby activities that the rest of the group still do such as drinking? If not then I think its time to accept that your interests and priorities have changed and that's ok x

I've noticed that a lot of people on MN are at pains to state how boring they find other people's kids.

I am sort of split on this, yes if you and most people around you don't have kids it could be hard to engage with the kid etc but they should be engaging with you, if something else major was going on with the friends, causing them to be up all night, affecting their physical wellbeing (at least at first) maybe causing a little social isolation, you'd expect them to check in and see how you are I would think? So they anbu for not being interested in your child but should have remained interested in you and it's sort of a package

But they did. They texted her in the first months after giving birth and they met the baby. There is literally nothing in the OPs post suggesting they never take interest. Just not enough interest as far as the OP is concerned.

Having a baby really shows who your true friends are.

the first month. it's now month seven.

it takes 30 seconds to fire off a whatsapp message.

just seems lazy to me. friendships need some nurturing.

Why not text them and suggest meeting? But don't talk too much about your baby. Other peoples kids are really boring.

Babies are boring
Other people's babies are really boring
I say this as someone who has 4 children

When mine were babies I was so grateful for those friends who didn't talk about babies and kept me in touch with other aspects of my life.

You have unreasonable expectations of your friends. You'll make Mum friends but don't spend time with them to the exclusion of your other friends who go back to your pre- child days.
Mum friends come about because you're all in similar circumstances but over time these will change & many of those friendships will fall away.

and some haven't met the baby

Exactly, I was referring to those friends who hadn’t yet visited.

Well they are pretty boring when they are babies. A lot of my friend's kids are teenagers now and I do have lovely relationships with them because they are witty, have bags of personality and are joy to talk to. Babies, not so much.

Same as what others have said to you your child is the light of your life to other no.
I have no interest in other peoples children at all.

I have children and still don’t think other people’s children are that interesting

I felt like this about my non child friends and it is harsh that suddenly you get treated almost as an outsider when you become a mum and tend not to get asked to things as much which sucks. I have several non mum friends who I know all want kids one day so I'm patiently waiting for them to start having them and to understand what it's like so I will hopefully more in common with them again. I always made an effort with my friends children though but only my closest friends really. It is difficult to fully appreciate children/motherhood/that lifestyle until your in it yourself so try not to let it get you down and maybe look to make friends with other mums!

I’d keep seeing your friends, not always with your baby, and don’t always talk about your baby.

I have children. I still find other people's children boring.

yeah but how much effort does it take to send a message once a week asking after a friend and her baby? I don't get why some people are so wedded to the 'but they're boring!'.

I ask about house extensions and marathon training all kinds of unexciting stuff if I know it's important to a friend

I said they contacted me first month as they wanted to know gender/name and a couple wanted to come and cuddle baby. Then nothing. I am not saying I want to talk about baby stuff with them?! Just a nice check in how are you, then ask how is baby as you would ask about their partner or job or anything?! I have reached out as I previously said, and I have not mentioned baby just about normal stuff we’d talk about, then I got sick of always sending first message. Wow if some of you think that expecting to hear from
your friends is too much to ask then I feel sorry for you. You must have your bar set really low. I am a good friend, I would take round food, help out with baby, went to soft plays, walk and to the park.