MIL massive stroke 3 days before holiday

[NoSourDough]

We are due to fly to Greece tomorrow evening.

MIL (79) had a serious (second) stroke on Tuesday morning. The first one was 2 years ago, she has been bed ridden since that first one with limited speech and mobility.

We saw her Sunday morning and she was fine (she was still living at home with my BIL and carers coming in 4 times a day) but sadly had another stroke on Tuesday.

Shes in hospital and unresponsive, consultant yesterday said it’s doubtful she will come out of hospital. It’s palliative now however a waiting game.

DH morally cannot leave his brother or MIL and come on holiday (understandably). Travel insurance will not cover this third party event (we have checked).

We have a 12 year old DD who has never been on a plane before and has been looking forward to this holiday for months.

DH insists that I should take her whilst he stays here. I feel like MIL could be in this condition for weeks, perhaps he could come but I understand that would be unreasonable. His brother is telling him to come but DH won’t do it.

Should I travel alone for 10 days to Greece with DD? What would you do?

Go.

I would follow your DH's lead here.

You should go , most grandparents would want the GC to go rather be sat bereft at a bedside . Life is for the living

Go.

Although when my MIL was ill our travel insurance definitely covered us.

Thank you - just to add, how would you feel about travelling alone with a child? We are going to Santorini. Would you feel safe? I’m a little nervous.

I'd go, but I'd have to make peace with the fact that MIL might pass while I was away with DS. You've seen her recently, and you don't know how long the situation could stay like this. Your DH has his brother for support, and you can stay in touch with him while you're away.

I'm sorry you're all going through this.

Check what would be the cost to fly home if she passed. Also ensure your husband will not be resentful later on if you go,

Yes take her, I would understand if your husband came but I also fully understand he wants to be there when his mother passes and to support his brother. Also at twelve it'll be nice for the two of you to be away not like holidaying with a toddler alone. If your DH says he's ok at home, go

I would go with DD if you feel DH has enough support at home. I'm surprised the insurance won't pay but admittedly don't have any experience with this.

Santorini is lovely and there will be no issues safety wise travelling there with your daughter!!

Just to add - I'd want to decide before I went whether I'd come home or not if the worst happened while I was away. I'd actually be a No I think.

Take DD to Greece on your own. It’s a no-brainer. It’s perfectly reasonable that your DH wants to be there for his seriously ill mother.

If your husband is OK with it, just go. Of course you will be safe - it's santorini, not Mexico City x

Go. If your mil and grandma to your dc dies, you will be back before the funeral. So do go.

If DH is fine with it, definitely go. My DF had three serious strokes and spent weeks in hospital. It would have been a relief if DH and the kids had been away and enjoying themselves as one less thing to worry about!

Of course Santorini is safe, it's a major family holiday destination.

I also think your MIL would want her GC to not be upset and enjoy their holiday.

I don't think I would go.

How much is dd likely to enjoy her holiday? You'll be worried about your dh, you'll feel forever guilty if she dies when you're away.

There will be other holidays, but this is a time that will never be repeated.

It's a really tough one, and there is no right or wrong here, so don't feel guilty if you do go, you have your dhs blessing.

Go, your DH has his brother to support him and your MIL won't know (or care?) whether you're there or not. Have as good a time as you can and follow your DH's suggestion. Odd that you're not covered for something like this - insurance companies are greasy weasels.

To add also - the reason why this isn’t covered on travel insurance is because we paid through the nose for our insurance (£500!) as my DH has an undiagnosed lung or heart issue at the moment. We really struggled to get insurance. Typically we found one which was fantastic on the health front but not so good on this type of eventuallity. Plus we had to leave it until the last minute as he is still having tests. It’s just bad luck all round.

It’s fine to take your child, your DH wants to stay with his mother and that’s fair.

I'd go but then we are a callous lot in our family. My grandma died and my parents went on holiday between her death and the funeral (delayed funeral). The holiday was paid for and it wasn't going to bring her back to stay home.

If I were you I'd go without DH. Santorini is perfectly safe. It won't be as fun without him. If he's happy for you to go then go.

OP, I am sorry to hear about your MIL.

Follow your DH request here, I think. Just go. Santorini will be fine!

There is no point planning to rush back if she dies. DH is aware of the outcome and the funeral will take time to plan. If he is happy for you to go then do it; there is nothing you can do if you stay.

Go. You DC is probably going to lose her granny soon. Why add to her unhappiness?

I'd go. Maybe I wouldn't if DH would be in his own, but assuming his brother and he will be able to support each other I think he'll be OK.