To not know when to just go 'fuck it, sack off the holiday and go home'

[kaleidoscoperuby]

We're on a UK holiday and DS14 is just vile. He had no complaints about the planned holiday when it was booked 18 months ago but has been saying recently he didn't want to go. We offered for him to stay with GPs, he said no. He's angry, rude, uncommunicative, storming ahead, tutting, sighing - generally has a face like thunder.

He's autistic but well travelled and we're pretty good at dealing with his needs - was all factored in.

We're away for 10 days with a week to go. I'm just thinking we should go home and be done. But it seems like such a waste. We're many hours from home.

When do you give up and go home? Is that just teaching them that behaving badly = getting what they want?

When do you stop travelling as teens are so vile? We have quite a few abroad trips planned over the next few years but I'm considering cancelling them all but I really love travelling (and we won't be able to leave DS at home for many years due to his needs so no holidays for anyone).

Op thank you so much for your honesty. I totally get the 'misery on holiday' then as soon as they get home or get what they want, they flip a switch and now we're the unreasonable ones for ever bringing up their shitty behaviour

It’s not though is it … all you’re doing is patronising, being condescending and argumentative. Many posters are saying this, why can’t you just drop it? You don’t need the last word after all 🤔

I'm not being patronising. I'm stating the facts, you are being condescending and argumentative. Why can't you just drop it?! That comment wasnnt even directed at you! The irony is just too much.

Yes, I was being patronising, @Milliemoo6 - I thought you needed a taste of your own medicine. And you did make yourself foolish by chiding me, based on only reading one post, when most of us have managed to read all the OP’s posts. If you want to state facts, you ought to be in possession of all of them, not just some of them, surely?

I don't feel remotely foolish, thats likely more a reflection of how you're feeling, given you have absolutely no knowledge of me whatsoever. It's rarely possible to be in 'possession of all the facts', this is an Internet forum full of strangers.

But well done you for being the bigger person 🤣

@kaleidoscoperuby I hope things calmed down and you have had a few good or at least better days.
FWIW, and I know that no two DC are the same, but I hope it helps if I tell you that my DS never remembered the bad things or the falling outs. He's 24 now and can list so many good holiday moments from over the years. That said, his favourite holidays are still crabbing in North Norfolk or Fossil Hunting on the south coast: same holiday homes each time. Same ice cream shop, tea van etc. He does go to other places too and copes, but he doesn't need an accommodation period for those so we can do short breaks, which is nice. I posted last summer about leaving him crabbing on the quay and going for a drive, then coming back to see him dancing on the spot as he pulled in his line.

I hope that you find something equivalent to interest your DS and that he cheers up a bit ( to give you all a break).