Adult children having partners overnight

[Tempnamechanger53]

My DD is 19 and has just finished 1st year uni and is home for the Summer holidays. She split up with a long term boyfriend (over 2 years) last summer before they both went away. She has been doing a lot of OLD; very few have got to date 2 or 3.
About 6 weeks ago she went on a first date with someone who dm'd her on Insta. They have mutual friends. They have seen each other maybe 6 or 7 times since then. She is wanting him to now to stay over saying she is an adult and she has had a year at uni being able to live as she chooses. This is not a confirmed or committed relationship yet and what will happen when she returns to uni in October has not been discussed. Whether either or both will not really want a long distance relationship is debatable.
She thinks I ABVU to say that I'm not keen on this as it is so casual. She gives me long lectures on sex positivity and accuses me of slut shaming. She is very good at arguing and I feel I am being browbeaten. AIBU or is she?

You’d let your daughter go off to a hotel room with a man you’re not sure about rather than have them sharing a room in your house? This seems strange to me, I’d rather I knew she was safe and had back up if she needed it.

I have several children this age and while I have put them up in spare bedrooms, I have not allowed sharing of bedrooms.

I got a lot of push back from my eldest, but I was having none of it.
His father told him book a hotel room.
We have zero interest in giving the nod to casual relationships in the house or meeting anyone on the stairs!
We also have one still a late teen.

I feel under zero obligation to provide a frat experience here.
If he wants freedom he can pay for a room in a shared house like my friends and me did at his age.

Friends that didn't hold that line quickly regretted it.

Sorry mistaken quote. Won’t let me delete.

@madameparis You misunderstand or I wasn’t clear. I was agreeing with your point about going to a hotel.

but I was also picking up on the point the OP was being gaslit by her daughter accusing her of slut shaming.

I see what you mean but that wasn’t what I meant. It’s not about sex or sharing a bed. It’s literally about having someone we don’t know in our home. And I suppose I don’t think that way because my daughter shows much better judgement than I did at her age or even older for that matter. And we have our own set up to keep safe when she’s out and about on her own, with her friends or on dates.

Sorry I misunderstood and then deleted when I realised x

This isn't a casual relationship or a one night stand or a revolving door of men. This is someone she's been seeing 6 weeks. For someone of 19 that's practically a lifetime!

I wouldn't have a problem with this OP. A hours drive home is a long way. But if you don't want to have someone in the house because of potential awkward small talk over the breakfast table just tell her that and stand your ground.

It's about the daughter having respect for her mum!

"...boys..."?

She's 23. This is the kind of thing you say to a 15-year-old.

....oh, hang on. Maybe I can see what the problem is here....

I think I probably would let him stay yes as long as it wasn't every night or/and he didn't move in.
Your daughter is indeed an adult and needs to make her own choices including her mistakes (not to say this even is one). If its about them having sex then to be she probably already done it will him.