Violated by MIL

[Workaholic99]

My MIL kissed the back of my neck.

Today i was hosting a birthday party for DD2 and had invited MIL because it's the right thing to do (not because I wanted her there).

When MIL arrived she completely ignored me - for the whole party barely more the 5 words were exchanged between us! (great, no complaints from me) however, as she was leaving I had my DD on my lap and so couldn't easily get up to say good bye, so she comes from my behind and plants a slobbery kiss on the back of my neck. There was nothing to stop her coming around to my front to say bye.

I was never felt more cringed or violated in my life. It doesn't help that I really detest the woman. My DH said he saw the whole exchange and thought it was very weird.

How should I handle that in future? I never want to be in that situation again

Well it is weird, yes, but frankly if that is the most violated you've ever felt in your life I'd say you don't have much to complain about.

wow! you have had a sheltered life!

Violated ?????

YABU

Ew. That’s gross. What an odd thing to do. Utterly irrelevant that you’ve never been more violated than that before.

Stop being twats please! OP is perfectly entitled to her feelings. Would you be minimising them if it had been FIL who kissed her fucking neck without consent? It's utterly gross and inappropriate. Your DH should be having a word with her.

Violated 😆 cringe yes.

I think violated is a bit strong

It’s weird but violated seems a little dramatic. Just tell her not to do it again.

More MN batshittery

Appreciate it was an unpleasant & unwanted & weird but it is a DH issue - he needs to deal with it. Suspect it was a power play thing from MIL whilst you could not get up.

Really weird - Id make sure she wasnt behind me at home time again!

Have you thought about looking for the definition of "violated" in a dictionary?

Well, it's slightly odd, but to use the word "violated" is ridiculous!

OP - give yourself a shake and come back down to earth.

You HAVE NOT been violated - your MIL did something that you didn't like.
Just point this out to her and move on.

And then think about women (and men) who have genuinely been violated in the past and reconsider your terminology!!

She's entitled to her feelings and frankly I would have been repulsed. But she must be aware that word has connotations and there will be women who have experienced much worse who will have feelings about that.

Both can be true at the same time.

NO. This is not a DH issue.

Any female has the right to stand up for themselves and point out that something is making them feel uncomfortable. Women should not have to sit back meekly and await a man's intervention.

I don't see this as a "Violation" but, equally, OP should speak out and not rely on her DH.

Thank you x

It sounds as though she would have encountered too many prickles if she'd approached from the front. Same reason she avoided talking to you.

Yes I've felt more violated before but this was completely unexpected and gross. I can psychologically still feel where I was kissed

Definitely a power play and Definitely not the first time she's tried playing games. ----

O good grief, poor MIL, just gave her DIL a kiss on the way out! A non-lip kiss between two women is a completely normal non event, even if you don't like it.

It's a really weird thing to do and I would be disgusted. It's an intimate place to target, especially in a slobbery way. Urgh.

I'd just completely avoid her from now on.

Oh give over, not a single woman in my family has ever kissed me on the back of the neck and I'm from a very cuddly, physically affectionate family. The neck is a fucking weird place to kiss someone you're not shagging.

Was it a clumsy kind of way of saying goodbye that went wrong? That's what I would think unless she has form for being perverted?

A peck on the cheek is normal and not a big deal, even if you dislike personal touching.

A wet, open mouth kiss on the back of the neck is very, very odd. Don't deny that just to play the fave MN game of having a pop at the OP.