Violated by MIL

[Workaholic99]

My MIL kissed the back of my neck.

Today i was hosting a birthday party for DD2 and had invited MIL because it's the right thing to do (not because I wanted her there).

When MIL arrived she completely ignored me - for the whole party barely more the 5 words were exchanged between us! (great, no complaints from me) however, as she was leaving I had my DD on my lap and so couldn't easily get up to say good bye, so she comes from my behind and plants a slobbery kiss on the back of my neck. There was nothing to stop her coming around to my front to say bye.

I was never felt more cringed or violated in my life. It doesn't help that I really detest the woman. My DH said he saw the whole exchange and thought it was very weird.

How should I handle that in future? I never want to be in that situation again

She didn’t ‘need’ to do what she did. Not kissing her was an option.

Someone being rude isn’t generally considered to be an open initiation to kiss them.

Have a look at the definitions she posted. Not one of them applies to what actually happened. And I don’t think posting those definitions was intended to be ‘helpful’,but that’s beside the point. I suppose we’ll all have our own opinions because we can’t know the actual situation. My own feeling is that it was less than wise, shall we say, to come on to MN and use a triggering word like ‘violated’ to create drama where there really is none. Reading through the OP’s posts, especially the latter ones, I get the strong impression that OP is determined to carry on this feud no matter what. Her own hostility towards her MIL will continue to blind her to any overtures the woman may make towards a resolution because the OP feels that everything is a slight.

As has been said several times, she would have known MIL was leaving, and if MiL saw she had her hands full with DD on her lap and was making no effort to get up, it was probably no more than an impulse. And one that she probably deeply regrets given OP’s OTT reaction.

‘Probably’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting when taking into account that this is someone you don’t even know, who historically has a very strained relationship with the OP.

Here’s another.

Apparently it is helpful to provide the definitions, given the amount of posters that seemingly haven’t encountered the word outside of one specific context.

If the MIL was in fact making overtures (clearly debatable), then she would be better served by instigating conversation with OP, rather do things that, considering the context, can be badly misinterpreted.

She is hardly a stranger is she?

You are being utterly ridiculous.

Oh just fuck off .

So? What does her not being a stranger have to do with it? She’s someone that OP doesn’t have a good relationship with, that she didn’t invite physical contact with.

What a riveting, helpful input.

Cringing for you.

I think you should have said something there and then… even just a ‘what was that?!!!!’or a blunt ‘eww, don’t do that!’

I think next time she’s over you need to just be prepared!