I love my children but I hate weekends with them

[boatonapond]

They are so so dull.

I just don’t know what to do with them at weekends and they stretch on. I feel like we should be enjoying time as a family. But it feels as if we don’t know what to do with ourselves.

They are 3 and a half and just turned 1.

Almost all of those things can be tailored to a 1 and 3 year old. It might surprise you that actually the vast majority of posters on mumsnet do have young children and have given you appropriate advice. Your experience with a 12 month old is not super unique compared to a 15 month old.
You clearly aren’t in the mood to take any advice or suggestions on bored and just want to stay stuck in this state of complaining. Fine, you can do whatever you want but you’re picking apart every little thing people try to offer as help to the nth degree to shit all over it unnecessarily.

@zzar45 we’re still arguing about rock pools? Let’s not. Plenty of others have come on and confirmed their just turned one year old wouldn’t cope with fruit picking, rock pooling or whatever either. But either way this isn’t an ‘I need things to do’ thread. I’m in a lot of pain, I’m exhausted and generally struggling with recent changes.

Incidentally we live three hours from the coast!

You're being thoroughly unpleasant and rude @boatonapond . Many people have come on and offered their own advice of being in a similar position and things you could do to actually help your situation. Instead of showing any gratitude, you've just picked people's post aparts and started arguments.

If you don't want your situation to change and want to stay miserable and exhausted that's fine, but don't try and argue with those that are trying to offer help and support.

And now someone’s taken time out of the day to say ner ner, I don’t like you. Very helpful.

Again “can be tailored to suit a 1 and 3 year old”, I don’t know if you’re just wanting to wallow so ignoring things on purpose or being deliberately obtuse for some reason but you’re obsessed with latching on to the tiniest thing and throwing you’re hands up proclaiming you’re the only one to ever have young kids and no one else could possibly understand.
Your 3 year old can do all of those things, and yes there is a lot of it that can also be adapted with a 1 year old for a family day out. You have a husband, one of you can play on the sand with the baby, the other can explore rock pools with the 3 year old.
3 year old can pick strawberries, baby can crawl about on the softer grass, be carried for a bit to watch 3 year old and then eat the strawberries with sibling.
Genuinely no idea why you are taking such great issue with some of these suggestions. You don’t want to do it, fine, but there’s nothing outlandish about the suggestions particularly when you’re trying to balance 2 needs.

Why are you so determined that a list of what a completely different person with different ages of children in an entirely different part of the country is helpful? That’s not what I’m about at all. I’m struggling with low mood, physical pain, recent changes and exhaustion. Do you honestly want me to say rockpooling is as brilliant solution?

Actually, I shouldn’t have asked a rhetorical question 😂

I’ll hide the thread and let you, the other poster and Mary say you’re not my best friend any more as per my three year old, or is that my six year old?

I have no idea why people are still trying to help her. What an unpleasant person.

But either way this isn’t an ‘I need things to do’ thread.

“I just don’t know what to do with them at weekends and they stretch on. I feel like we should be enjoying time as a family. But it feels as if we don’t know what to do with ourselves.”

Surely you can see how it very much comes across as ‘I need things to do’?

Count yourself lucky that you think the days are dull 🤣. I didn't like going out when they were young, but it was more the fact that they were extremely fast and just disappeared so it was stressful to keep eyes on them at all times, they used to gravitate to heights, water and pretty much anything dangerous. I just found it stressful and exhausting, but then again, I am a bit of a control freak and quite a nervous person. My girl walked at 9 months and my boy at 10 months and there are 3 years between them, much easier now they are older ❤️

I'm sure the children don't feel better having a mother who hates spending time with them.

She doesn't hate being with them.
She has made that point countless times. She hates the current situation and isn't coping well. She is in physical pain and she is depressed and instead of trying to offer kind words you just twist her words,.to suite your own narrative.
How is that beneficial to anyone? It's often been said it takes a village to raise a child, and some of these comments on here would make me want to live on a desert island, with my children.

Yep, I spent alot of time sitting on the floor with her and her sister. Our flat was fully baby proofed and doors to bathroom/kitchen were shut so she was pretty safe to roam!!

Lots of changing of activities and toys! She did enjoy cuddles and TV too especially if worn out by outside time!!

Blah blah blah.

@boatonapond ignore all of the posters trying to paint you as a shit parent because you find entertaining toddlers boring.

i couldn’t stand those ages and wouldn’t revisit them if you gave me a winning lottery ticket. I endured those days until the kids got older and life became infinitely more interesting.

Those parents loving the toddler years sometimes find they struggle at other ages and stages. There will be plenty on here that can’t cope with the teenage years.

This too shall pass.

When you're exhausted you really don't have to headspace to tailor activities for older children to a non-walking 1 year old. Nor do you want activities that take much longer to set up that than the toddler spends doing them. It just further exhausts you for the sake of shit results.

That said OP I do think realistically you need to do some tag teaming. I think many parents with DC of this age that don't have support from other family do end up getting a bit distant at this stage. It's not great but I don't see how you can avoid it.

@boatonapond

its really ok to spend a Saturday afternoon out with your friends or whatever op whilst your husband has the kids!

What a genuinely terrible thing to say.