I love my children but I hate weekends with them

[boatonapond]

They are so so dull.

I just don’t know what to do with them at weekends and they stretch on. I feel like we should be enjoying time as a family. But it feels as if we don’t know what to do with ourselves.

They are 3 and a half and just turned 1.

dont feel that every weekend should be “family time” either Op. one Saturday afternoon leave the kids with your partner and go out and meet your pals in town for drinks or whatever @boatonapond

I'm not a fan of the obsession with family time. I think kids actually benefit from their parents having a life of their own. People that have spent too long prioritising family time at weekends can get really dull.

Why do you keep letting your OH off the hook OP? Why does everything have to be a full family outing? It doesn’t. Get him to take one or both of them out on his own for a change and give yourself a break. You seem determined to keep dodging questions about your husband (whom you’ve confirmed exists) and I wonder if it’s because you’re that set on martyring yourself or if he’s really so useless with the children that he can’t be trusted to take one/both of them out on his own.

I’ve said twice now he’s great and more than does his share @Angelil . Seriously, I am as passionate as anyone about ensuring everyone does their fair share but life with two very young children is hard going and no amount of husbands change that!

I don’t think I’ve indicated that we do particularly but given I spend precious little time with him during the week if we didn’t have some time together at the weekend I do genuinely think we’d struggle.

Honestly ditch the idea that weekends have to be spent all together. Parenting is a long game so to be the best you can be some time off from it is essential.
Also echo what a previous poster has asked - what would you like to do at the weekend? Can you plan some things that you enjoy and make the kids fit in with it? I liked hiking so we would put them in a carrier and go for walks when that age.

Also not everything needs to be planned out. Life can just happen and kids need to fall in with that. So if there are no plans and it’s a quiet weekend of doing a few chores etc then that’s ok too. Just potter about to the shops, library, tip whatever needs to happen.

It’s strange and I have to say a bit exasperating that so many have fixated that the solution to the problem of exhaustion, not really knowing what to do with children, adjusting after maternity leave, is never see my husband apart from a brief hour or so in the evening. I honestly don’t wish to sound difficult but how in any way is this a solution?

@boatonapond the weekend is over 48 hours. Having an hour or so to yourself will leave plenty of time to see your husband as well. It will do his relationship with the children good to spend time alone with them and will give you some time to recharge and be you. As a parent of 2 children with the same age gap (but they are now 10 and 12) I found it essential to my well being. My children are growing up seeing me and their dad as people with needs and interests in our own right.
You are saying it’s difficult but have a lot of barriers to potential, quite easy solutions.

Put the children in a buggy and the whole family do park run

I feel for you @boatonapond Life is so very different for parents now. I posted upthread about being a 90s parent, and at that time there were plenty of mums about who weren't working, or only part time. There was usually somebody about. It does seem so much more lonely now.

There is a real culture of busyness now, and so even if you're up for a meet with friends, chances are they aren't available when you are.
I definitely found spending all day entertaining children boring, and there was a lot of popping in, to friends ( them to me also) and my parents- less so the in laws as they weren't very interested and visits were more formal occasions. There was adult conversation and more eyes on the children. The older ones could play while we wrangled the smaller ones.
I'm not criticising any of the changes btw. It's just how life is, so I'm expressing sympathy not an it was better in my day thing.
The only tip I have, is that the first couple of years with two or more is about survival and your sanity. It's tough trying to entertain more than one child - I had three.

For me it was about setting things up so I could get five minutes peace, but sometimes they'd get bored in minutes with something I'd taken ages setting up.

Since I started reading mumsnet I realise how lucky I was having parental support.

Anyway yes you can love them and still find them a relentless grind 💕

Oh yes, as per pp, walks with little one on a back pack or both of them in a buggy are a great sanity saver when little ones are just mud eating wrigglers.

I don't think anyone is saying spend all weekend apart from your husband! Even a few hours to have a lie in and chill in bed can make a difference! And it doesn't have to be every weekend either!

I'm not quite sure what your after. Many people have come on and sympathised and given good suggestions but you seem intent on having barriers to each and everyone one of them.

You’re being so moany and dramatic. Taking turns to entertain each child for an hour or two hardly equates to everyone telling you to never see your husband.

Your initial post, I’m bored with my children on the weekend, I can never think of what to do.
Replies list all sorts of things you could do, how to structure your day etc

wahh I know how to go out! I can’t do any of those activities either! I’m actually just tired.

Okay why don’t you do these thirds to make you feel less burnt out.

wahhh why does no one want me to see my husband.

If you just wanted to moan and do nothing shout your situation then make that clear in the OP. You’ve had loads of suggestions and taken issue with pretty much every single one.

Is your little one too big for a jumperoo or a walker (I picked mine up cheap) Or a play pen in the garden maybe. Or one of those trikes with a handle… It must be hard with the age difference, this too shall pass!

you can never stop me going out and even just running in the breeze, alone, with kids, with friends, with whomever. We are all different. I adore nature. Adding kids to that, such a free great time to spend

Why are you being so unpleasant on this thread?

I genuinely don’t get it. I did a wee search and it doesn’t seem to be typical. Is it because so many people pulled you up on your initial reply? I wasn’t one of them; I largely ignored it.

DD was literally only still 1 last year! I am aware there's a difference which is why i said they were those ages recently. She had a trike with a handle and DS had his scooter, we did rockpooling with her - not sure why you think a toddler can't do this, we have classes called beach tots here (I haven't done them but know lots of friends who do) and we've been going to and enjoying Barter Books since they were both born, again of course a 1yr old could enjoy this! They have little scooter bugs, a train set, loads of infant books to read and browse, an attached ice cream shop. There's another one in Newcastle that has designated free activities for toddlers called Seven Stories.

My children were the same age as yours literally just over a year ago. Everything I suggested I was doing with them at that age - the children are a bit older but the activities the same.

It's nice that people have bothered to try and help you and make suggestions, and your response is "I just ignored most of that post" is incredibly rude and nasty. You don't have to be a "perfect mummy" to enjoy stuff with your kids, just pretty average really. The same as most people I know.

They can’t have been @MaryShelley1818 . You have a recently turned six year old who was five this time last year and a three year who also appears to have had a birthday recently who was two this time last year!

Mine are 3 and a half and twelve months - that’s worlds apart from six and three or even five and two.

How can you not work out that if she turned 3 this year, she was age 1 (before she turned 2) at some months last year?? So she was indeed 1 last year. 4 and 1 (apparently million miles away from 3.5 and 1)
Hardly the point though is it, I tried to be helpful and give lots of suggestions mine have enjoyed at the same age and your response was to be rude, insulting and unkind. If you don't fancy any of my ideas just say they're not your cup of tea without resorting to being horrible.
I see why most people on here have gave up with you. Go and enjoy being miserable.

So she was literally the same age as my youngest (12 months) two years ago. It’s very pedantic but come on, if you have two children you don’t need me to tell you there’s a world of difference between twelve months and even fifteen / sixteen months.

I hear you I don't love it either. I love my kids but I don't like parenting 24/7 at all, if I had my time again I doubt I'd do it again.

But I told you these are activities they enjoyed at the SAME AGE!! This is actually painful, no wonder you find life such hard work.
I'm out (like a few other posters!)

Right @MaryShelley1818 except you didn’t. You said

I don't understand the concept of being bored or finding toddlers dull! It's a brilliant age, I love the weekends.
Mine are 6 and 3 (so very recent experience of kids the same age) and we do all sorts every weekend.
Yesterday we did ballet class for the 3yr old while DH took DS6 for a hair cut. Then we had a family Lego/Duplo afternoon followed by a movie with popcorn.
Today we are driving to a fruit farm for strawberry picking and lovely wood fired pizza.
I'm off tomorrow too so going to a different farm which has inflatables and rides for the summer.

Other stuff planned: swimming, beach, castle visit, train museum, day trip to York, day trip to Alnwick for the second hand Book shop and ice Creams, rockpooling, many different parks, gym for kids, garden with paddling pool, bikes/scooting, there's so many different activities and events on for all ages.
I don't find any of the above dull.

You literally listed things you’re doing now - when they are six and three.

And yes, I think it would be best if you were out. I do wonder why people think it’s helpful when you admit you’re exhausted, a bit depressed and struggling with an injury to be lectured about why it’s such a brilliant age with kids at least two years older 😂