I love my children but I hate weekends with them

[boatonapond]

They are so so dull.

I just don’t know what to do with them at weekends and they stretch on. I feel like we should be enjoying time as a family. But it feels as if we don’t know what to do with ourselves.

They are 3 and a half and just turned 1.

Yeah I don’t know any one year old and three year old who could entertain themselves 😂

My children won’t be one and three forever - it’s so daft (and really quite unkind) to reply with ‘why did you have them if’ comments, it’s like saying ‘why did you go on holiday to Spain if you don’t like paella?’ Spain is much more than paella and my children are much more than dull weekends. I still find them dull though - and I still don’t like paella!

Getting outside is vital with those ages. Twice per day, go for a walk, whatever the weather. If it is raining, go out and watch the water going down the drains, go under a tree/inside large bush and see how the rain gets stopped by the leaves.

If it's dry, walk to a playground and take snacks+drink with you.

I love my weekends with my kiss but I get our alot if I go the park I get a friend to join and the time flies by. Plus kids love playing with other kids. If I stay in the house time seems to go slow and they end up fighting. So get out as much as you can and if you can meet a friend you also get some social time.

I do know how to get outside 😂 I suppose this is it really, it’s finding stuff to fo that doesn’t bore ME to tears even if they are happy enough!

I think you need a contrast to how you spend the rest of the week so it depends on what weekdays look like for you.

Do you have some "me time" at the weekend for yourself?

1 year old entertaining themselves... they empty a cupboard in the kitchen of all the contents. I cared for child who loved doing that from the point she could crawl. She had a cupboard with lots of plastic tubs, lids, so she could empty it.

Finding things that don't bore YOU to tears is not the objective. It will be boring for you. It will be repeating the same things over and over again, which is going to be boring for you.

When it comes to small children, yes. Also, possibly your parents. Outside of that, no.

@Princessfluffy - DH is great but with two such little ones we do kind of end up dividing and conquering a bit or all out together. I don’t mind that but moneys tight just now and it’s hard finding free or cheap things. And endless housework.

I do try really hard to do nice things with them that they enjoy - it’s mostly for them but for me too - but I’m a bit stumped just now and it all feels a bit same-y.

OP do you have DP? If so take some time each weekend away from the kids (and give them the same). Having something to look forward to and break up the time will help.

What are your own passions?
If cooking you can do baking or mud pies
If art you can draw chalks on the pavement or make designs with a watering can and water
If you love sports then have novelty races
If you love to read do some reading activities
What is DH bringing to the table at weekends?

If you didn't have them, what would you spend your weekends doing?

Do tell me to do one if you don’t want suggestions because I am all about the empathy when it comes to entertaining a 3 year old and a baby! But, if funds allow, what about nice gardens or an NT property or something if that’s your bag? We have a spectacular garden quite near us that also happens to have a great play area and a wee train. DC get to do what they want and we also get to spend some time in more beautiful nature than the local cops 😂

Oh stop it.

OP, ignore the trolls. I know exactly what you mean. It's exhausting and dull and also involves a lot of breaking up sibling rows. We rarely have what I would call a relaxing weekend.

I think this does get easier as they get older. My 7yo is now a lot easier to just chill with. But I still have a toddler so no respite for a while

Oh life would be absolutely shit and I’m clear on that. I don’t regret them, I adore them and I’m so glad I have them. For some reason though just now feels a bit difficult. Not sure whether it’s lack of sleep (12 month old has her teeth coming through) or adjusting to going back to work recently or stuffy muggy weather, but I feel really down and fed up.

Mine are 4 and 18 months. We tend to do parks or museums on the weekends. If it's been a hard week (like this one), then short walks, garden play, and TV/music at home. Take the pressure off and just do really simple things. It makes it more enjoyable when not dealing with the guilt you should be enjoying every minute and doing wonderful things every weekend

Also yes to this, although I'm an 80s child so even more benign neglect 😂

We've recently had to cut down a lot of the stuff we did due to cost of living and I'm refusing to feel guilty about it. Just spending time with their siblings is important for them

I do need to do more of that sort of thing @VivaVivaa . I do love taking them places, I’m just losing my mojo a bit I think.

@LostittoBostik ugh yes to the squabbling over bits and bobs, this and that …

I think it's fun to link up with friends or relatives for a bit. Have some kind of a theme eg The Paris Olympics Kid Version.

In the summer municipal paddling pools can be lovely. Bus trips and train trips are also fun. Or going to look at animals whether it be ducks in a pond or horses in a field or looking at bugs.

Young kids are easy to entertain on a v low budget as everything is new and a novelty for them. What are your kids passionate about?

Exactly this OP. I teach primary - I like little children, I'm good with them but even so I found days in the house with a 1 and 3 year old horribly boring. I do think I have a low boredom threshold though and some people are much happier to potter about watching their children draw or play with Duplo. I can only assure you it gets so much better. Also, jigsaws helped. I'd much rather do a jigsaw with a 3 year old than most other activities! Some very mild brain stimulation at least.

Housework - get them to 'help'. They won't be much help but they can do things. They can move things around, put things in boxes. They can help peg out washing - a toddler I cared for in 2010 loved holding the peg bag, getting me a peg out. It does slow down doing tasks, but it involves them.

Strip the beds, get new bedding and make a den with sheet.

Large cardboard boxes can keep children that age entertained for quite a while... it can be a den, it can be a car/bus/boat, it can be drawn on.

If you love taking them to places I'd spend an evening drawing up a list of places you'd like to go to with them. I find preparation is key. I hate the panicked "what are we going to do today?!" feeling and prefer to have either a clear plan or a set of options to choose from depending on mood.

Sometimes you can work out what you'd most like to do based on what you liked to do pre-DC. For example, if you liked the theatre then there's a decent chance you'll enjoy taking them to good quality kids' shows. If you were outdoorsy, take them on lots of walks and bike rides. If you liked nice restaurants , take them to a gastropub (bonus if it has a play area or beer garden). It isn't at all the same experience, of course, but it means you're usually working along the right lines and also that they're more likely to enjoy the same things you do as they get older.

I really do hope think a lot of people on this thread have forgotten what a 12 month old is actually like. Maybe mine is particularly ‘spirited’ but he wouldn’t have a clue how to peg out washing or make a den or draw on a cardboard box. He’s a small brain with zero frontal lobe on very quick legs 🙃

I have them three days a week as well so it’s tough thinking of places for five days. It’s heightened at the moment because of course the groups / activities we do mostly aren’t on. So for instance next week I’m taking them to a farm on Wednesday and a castle on Tuesday. So lots of people would say that’s enough and they don’t need to do anything much this weekend which is probably true but it still feels like such a loooong day.

Do you have a garden? We spent many hours digging, sandpit, painting, chalking, paddling pool, getting filthy really! Anything goes outside - flour, chalk, glitter etc.

I do think this happens a lot tbh - not wishing to denigrate anyone’s kindly meant advice but if I wish to lower not heighten my stress levels my children need to be kept away from housework!