Advice doesn’t make me angry. Patronising comments are very exasperating.
I am trying and failing to get DD to nap.
The thing is @BurbageBrook you say it in your first post. You have one child. One child who is the same age as my second (July 23.)
With one child life tends to be a lot more manageable and it’s easier to either do your own thing (and the child comes too - to a certain point I can do this with one child) or hand the child to other parent while you get down time.
That changes with two but at first the change isn’t all that dramatic because newborns don’t mind as long as they are on you. There are things to manage like sibling jealousy and lack of sleep (although even that is ‘it depends’ - DD barely woke up for the first six weeks) but it’s doable.
A year on and some things are easier and some are a lot lot harder. In the last month I have had to manage my return to work, teeth, Covid struck down the whole house and made us all feel pretty grotty, my three year old is mostly through the tantrum stage but now and again they happen and we had an epic one Friday night witnessed by a family member sniggering and really Not Helping as you might say.
I don’t actually think I slept Friday night. I got two hours in the morning, that’s it. Last night was better but still had DD on me and went to the toilet at 4am and the world ended. She’s refusing to nap and I come out of every nap time feeling like I’ve done a round with Tyson Fury - pulled hair and grabbed skin and kicking. And if any smug fucker on here tells me to put my hair up, sod off, it’s too short and anyway she grabs the wispy bits at the side.
I look shit, I’ve gained weight, I can’t afford the hairdresser because I took the full year on maternity leave so skint, I have grey hair and roots and my skin is old and tired and no wonder because I am old and tired.
DH is very good and more than does his bit but he works full time, he often travels and is away overnight and even when he isn’t he gets back after they are both in bed. Mondays and Fridays are easier as he often wfh then but then I’m usually at work - though not for the next five weeks, go me.
When I had DS I did the NCT course and I have lovely friends from that. But it’s so much harder with two. They all stuck at one 😆 many and varied reasons and not by choice in two cases for sure so I’m not going to rub their noses in it. But they’ll go somewhere DS would love but I can’t take DD. Or even just meeting for coffee is difficult because I’m wrangling two children. I did lots of baby groups with DD and loved them but meeting up with anyone from that is difficult when they have more than one because schooners and nursery runs and I have both kids that day so I can’t, can you do Thursday, well no I have both kids that day …
I really, really don’t want to sound like a patronising arse myself. And this is ‘meant’ nicely - but do me a favour, when your second child is twelve months, come back and have a read of this thread.
And there are lovely moments I know I will cherish. I do absolutely loads for and with these children, they are my world. They are adored,’doted on, fed the best foods, given good experiences, spoken to kindly and with respect, they will go to the best schools in our area / we can afford depending on what happens in the future and we absolutely dote on them as much as any parent does. But IT IS TIRING and sometimes not always a whole lot of fun. Saying that and getting in response - ‘well, I can’t really relate’ is a bit annoying. Sorry if saying so annoys you in turn, but it is.