I love my children but I hate weekends with them

[boatonapond]

They are so so dull.

I just don’t know what to do with them at weekends and they stretch on. I feel like we should be enjoying time as a family. But it feels as if we don’t know what to do with ourselves.

They are 3 and a half and just turned 1.

.... and then they argue and bicker all weekend... 🤣

We do and it’s big which is good, the three year old can entertain himself out there for a good while but the baby just tries to eat stones and can’t crawl properly and gets angry 😂

Mine are 1.5 + 3.5, invest in some garden toys.

I lie in the sun while they whizz round on trikes/ didicars/ scooters or make me pretend food and cups of tea in the playhouse. We have one of those water tables as well for when the weather’s warm. Given them little watering cans and get them to water all your plants.

I understand what you mean, mine is 2.5y, we go to the park, playgrounds, etc., but the repetitiveness is still there, I think once they start choosing consciously what they want to do for fun, it will be more fun for everyone. My best friend’s kids for example are 5 and 6 and she says she now loves spending time with them as it’s genuinely enjoyable. Hang in there!

I've got a just turned 4 and an 18 month old. The days drag a bit without other adult company but not otherwise.

Today has been lovely - the kids love being in the garden pootling about. I fill buckets with water and they play with that, sand pit, little tykes car etc. DH has been prepping a large area for turf and had the baby 'helping' whilst 4yo and I sorted out front garden and went to the tip. Then we chilled and ate in the garden.

At these ages they don't need much (maybe some ice-cream!), they usually just want to be involved with whatever you're doing. I can send 4 yo for snail hunting or on 'worm rescue' and she's sorted for hours.

We’ve loads of garden toys. I think they’re just at a funny stage, the baby can’t really use a trike or a trampoline or anything yet.

I highly recommend reading
Lawrence J. Cohen Playful Parenting.

It decodes why children play in the way that they do and what is going on for them which makes it a lot more interesting to play with them and for me it meant I had a lot more interest in and patience with DC.

Like any parenting book it's not for everyone but it's my favourite parenting book and also has become the fave book of several other people I have bought copies for.

Yes. Definitely.

Those ages are so hard, kids aren’t independent at that age and need so much input! I would say going out is easier - find somewhere to go out of the house in the afternoon. You can use the morning to build up to it and then get on the wine as soon as you get home!

Just looked through some photos, and at 17 months they were in a den made from cushions and a blanket. At 18 months they were 'cleaning' a ride on tractor. At 15 months they were at a outdoor splash park, sitting in a puddle of water trying to pick out stones from the wetpour surface.
It is hard when they are not very mobile, as they get frustrated that they cannot get around. They may bum shuffle, they will often find a way to move about. The will try to eat things, expect that. Every child is different, some will be able to do more than others at different ages.

Babies and toddlers are my favourite age, but they are hard work. Don't expect to get much housework done. It's full on with them from when they work till they fall asleep - thus why it's gets harder when they are age 3 and drop the nap.

@RhetoricalRectangle Those of you having a go at OP for not liking weekends, have you had a 1 and 3 year old?
You love their bones but they can be Incredibly hard work, and some days time seems to move as slowly as treacle.

Yes. Currently have a 3 year old and not quite 1 year old. If anything I feel like a few months will help as right now the baby being stuck in the pram and not walking or crawling adds to the problem of balancing needs.
I honestly don’t know what people moan about, okay during the week if you’re on your own with kids is hard but if you have a partner the weekends shouldn’t be such a slog. Particularly days like today when it’s so nice and sunny.
What do you do on the weekend that is so rubbish?

This morning DH took the kids out first thing so I could have a coffee and get ready in peace as youngest still wakes a lot. I think he went for a coffee and to the park, I’m not sure I even asked specifically what he did today but that’s usually what he does out early on a weekend morning. The coffee shops and parks here are dad central pre 9am so he usually chats to other dads he knows.

Rather than napping out baby didn’t nap
until they got back so I took oldest out to a coffee shop, to look at nail polish and to get a balloon. We had a lovely dander to the high street, stopped to look at some trains. I picked a nail varnish, so did she and then we had cake in the cafe. Nipped into a different park for 15 mins to burn some energy on the way home.

Back home, play for 30 mins or so then eldest naps. DH took youngest for a quick walk in the pram to keep baby happy while I tidied.

Then we all walked to the high street in the sun, had a drink sat outside the local wine bar while oldest chalked on the ground with some other kids and we had a chat with some other parents there.

Got pizza and had a picnic in the park, brought something else suitable for the baby. Back home by 6:30 for a quick dip in the bath, stories and bed for both kids and the day was done.

Are other people filling their day with activities they don’t like?

I appreciate absolute washout weekends can be more work and more draining, but imo that’s not the same as “every weekend with kids is so so dull”.

Don’t put pressure on the idea of family time. For your sake and your children’s sake…divide and conquer if you can (I assume you have a partner?). This is what we do (though we are not as ‘in the trenches’ as you - our kids are 5 and 1). Basically each parent takes one child for the morning then in the afternoon you switch. Only occasionally have a whole family day out (e.g, to the zoo or swimming pool).
For us a typical weekend looks like this:
Saturday:
one of us gets up with the 1yo between 5.30 and 6. The other parent gets a lie in. Switch the next day.
I take the eldest out to whatever activity he’s enrolled in currently (was basketball but will be Scouts after the holidays). My husband stays in with the 1yo. They might do just a really short/low key trip out to the supermarket or playground.
Everyone meets up again for lunch and a bit of iplayer is allowed.
Then husband takes eldest to swimming lesson. I stay in and do household bits and bobs while 1yo naps and maybe read a bit of my Saturday paper. When he wakes up we go for a walk to the beach or town centre.
Everyone is back home for tea time, Lego, jigsaws, TV etc for a couple of hours before dinner. I usually handle the kids while husband cooks. Then we split bedtimes: he starts the baby off while I sort the 5yo and then we switch.

Sundays are pretty similar except the activities might change a bit (e.g, eldest is likely to have a play date or I might organise a trip to the cinema Sunday morning).

Why not do that? Less stressful for all…

Kids also get valuable one-to-one time with each parent.

Try to enjoy them. I only had mine 50/50 since they were 3 and 6 and, more recently, even less. I don't feel like I'm their mum tbh.

Oh and since we don’t have a garden we know all the playgrounds in our area pretty well! A good shout for Sundays and the app Playground Buddy may help you find others in your area that will feel new to your kids.

We also have museum cards (€60 per adult for the year and about half this for the 5yo) which often get used on a Sunday afternoon. It may be worth seeing if there’s a similar thing near where you live.

But it isn’t so much about stress as dullness @Angelil . And never seeing another adult doesn’t really help alleviate that!

As mentioned…is there a partner to help? Sorry, haven’t RTFT yet.

Oh @Hellodarknessmyfriend . I feel the pain in your post. Of course you're their mum. No one can change that or replace you to them x

I think a lot of parents would have their stress levels If they took this approach and also kids wouldn't be quite so needy too imo. I get it OP, I've got a nearly 2 year old and relentless is the best word for it😅

Also for your 3yo there are lots of kids’ workouts on YouTube that you can join in with too. My 5yo likes Miss Linky and Cosmic Kids Yoga. Even the 1yo tries to copy us so it has some mileage.

Halve their stress levels 🙄

Just go out!!!!

We do Sorry, I don’t want to sound like an arse but where do I indicate we don’t?

Go out, even if you don't want to spend money

I thought you do not know how to make a weekend go. Going out make the time pass.