make me feel better by telling me about cringing at yourself

[CrinolinMcCringe]

I had an appointment with a man I fancied a bit in a professional context.
He asked me how I was and I didn't just overshare, it was like projectile vomiting sharing. The worst bit is that after I left I realised I was subconcious trying to impress him but really it was like I'd vomited on him with my life. I keep thinking about it and I want to die. I don't know him at all and the 'how are you' question was that very English thing of not a real question which makes it worse.

Please tell me something you've done that made you cringe to make me feel better.

I was waiting to be put through to DD’s headmaster but the school switchboard must have mixed up the calls and the first I heard was -

Headmaster - is that you Mary Elizabeth? (the HM of another school)

Me, in a really sultry voice - no but I can be if you want me to.

I thought I was being so funny but 20 years later I still die a hundred deaths when I think about it.

When me and my boyfriend was early days we was talking in bed about food we liked. He asked me if I liked hot food and I replied yes but I do like cold food like sandwiches and stuff... he meant hot as in spicy😂😭

I die inside a little bit everytime I think of my reply hahaha

@AnnieMcFanny ooh I feel your pain. I can imagine it's almost the same as what I feel. It's like the embarrasment of thinking you are being witty and seductive but then realising its just awkward for the recipeint!

Solidarity comrade.

😂I love that

I pissed myself at Supergrass's Christmas houseparty. That was shameful.

I got in a fight within a week of starting a job and got sacked. I punched a guy that grouped my tit. So no regrets.

I’d just got on the tube and was walking to a seat, when it jerked out of the station before I’d sat down properly. I stumbled, fell and ended up sitting on a strange man’s knee 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ 😳 He was as shocked as I was, as were the other passengers close by. Made my apologies and made no eye contact with anyone for the rest of the journey. Still makes me cringe now.

@BobbyBiscuits
I pissed myself at Supergrass's Christmas houseparty. That was shameful.

What? So many questions!
That sounds like it would be embarrasing stone cold rather than that cringy feeling of yuck and skin crawling

The other day I ordered some kitchen knives from amazon. Delivery child man shows up and says 'well I can see you're over 18' and I don't know what came over me so I replied 'well that's bloody rude I'm only 25' he then asked for my birthday to put in the computer and I mumbled something in the 1980s and wanted to shrivel up like the ancient hag I am

I was in church watching a all junior choirs sing concert. Siblings who don't normally go to church were there. A few 11-13 year old lads messing about, deliberately clapping too long etc. There was shouting out and I said to my DD, not quietly, "oh for goodness sake, we are in a Church". To later realise that the shouting was being done was buy a child in the learning disability choir.
I looked at a man who had a waist lead with two small dogs on and said out loud, in the group I was in, that he looked like a nobhead. Then realised that he only had one arm, he's obviously ex military. I'm going to hell.
I didn't have my glasses on and tried to get money out of a cash machine that was being fitted. I only ever fall over when there's a crowd.

I used to get the Metro to work every day. The same people would be there each day and often on the way home too. One day, another regular traveller, a woman, was running late. She ran to catch the closing doors, in heels. She stumbled and one of her legs went down between the train and the platform edge. She was panicked and she scrambled into the train, pulling herself up and onto all fours. Nobody could get there on time to help her. The doors closed and we pulled out of the station. She crawled to a seat. Every time I saw her from then on I would cringe on her behalf. She worked in French Connection. I stopped going in. She was always very carefully dressed, which made it worse somehow.

(I'm a man, for context)
In my 20s I made a very clumsy and very drunken pass at someone I worked with. More specifically, someone who was my direct report. She politely turned me down and treated me with way more kindness than I necessarily deserved but within weeks she'd applied for a job elsewhere and left. This happened 30 years ago and even now not a month goes by where I don't kick myself for being such a twat.

A few years ago,dp ordered two backpacks for his dds using my ebay account

We both forgot all about them,until a few days later

He went out to see a friend and I was home alone

The door went-so I got up,opened it (but didnt look at who it was-i was expecting dp) and said 'fancy a shag lover boy?'

The delivery driver threw the two parcels at me and gave me a dirty look as he stomped back down the path

Dp showed up two minutes later while I was cringing myself Inside out on the sofa

I still die a bit when i think about it

I tripped over a kerb in the high street fell flat on my front and had a summer dress on that flipped up and everyone saw my knickers. A man joked it was a good job I had knickers on, as he helped me up.

I have posted this on another thread-
I was in a garden center last week and there were 2 ladies and a guide dog collecting donations . We give a donation and my son is petting the beautiful guide dog and telling the lady sitting beside it that we also have a dog with the same name . The lady asks what she looks like so I show her a photo on my phone . It is only when the other lady said “she is showing you a picture of a black and white dog “ did I twig that I was showing a photo and the lady was blind. I was mortified, but she was so , so kind about it .

Pp reminded me. Less cringe and more traumatised for life though.

When I was about 9 my mum made me wear this stupid longish dress for school. I was quite a tom boy and liked to jump the bollards in the playground. I jumped over, the back of the skirt got caught, I flipped forward banging my forehead on the bollard and was trapped there by my skirt with hundreds of primary school children pointing and laughing until two staff members managed to upright me and lift me off the damn thing

@CrinolinMcCringe tell me about it. Rock and roll dreams shattered. I was a teenager, but no excuses!? Haha 🤣

I was 17, just started my first 'proper' job. Our team had to go to a meeting in another office down the road, it was a lovely day so we just walked. When waiting to cross the road, i momentarily forgot that it wasn't my boyfriend (now DH) standing next to me and I just took the hand of the man standing next to me - it was my boss! He was - to me - ancient as he was probably in his early 40s, and he was a very serious bloke. Eek, oh God, over 40 years later and I still feel that teenage embarrassment.

Oh god I'm old so I have so many

First love finished with me and I was heartbroken. We both worked in the center of Belfast and one day I was out for lunch when I saw him and his friend walking towards me.
It was a beautiful day and I was so chuffed I'd my best floaty summer dress on.

As they passed I sneaked a look and he and his friend were looking back at me.

My feeling of pride didn't last long when I got back to work and the receptionist said "do you know your dress is stuck down your knickers at the back"

Sorry, but this made me laugh out loud!
Apologies... You poor thing, mortifying. 😱

When I was a newly qualified teacher I was invigilating a mock exam with my Head of Department . She asked me for a pen and I went to fetch my handbag and promptly pulled out an applicator tampon and placed it into her hand in front of a hall of students.
More recently my Head Teacher asked me to give her feedback about an applicant I had observed that morning . I did not want to disturb her so decided to slip it under her door . It was a tight squeeze, but rather than giving up a got down on my hands and knees to push the bloody envelope underneath . The door swings open with the Deputy Head looking at me oddly with the Head and 3 governors in the office , looking down at me as I am on all fours. I should have just knocked!

What did the boss say? 😁

As a young teacher, I got hammered at a party and tried to snog my head of department. Who was standing next to his wife.

Years ago, fairly early on in my career at work I had to explain my reasons for carrying out a particular task in front of a supervisor and about a dozen of my colleagues (I can't really go in to too many details about the context of what I was doing - it was an emergency services job). I've always been a bit anxious and HATED speaking in front of others. I started my dialogue but then my mind sort of went blank and everything that came out of my mouth was utter nonsense, going back and forth over points, umming and erring, a complete car crash. To make it worse I could see the supervisor going pink with second hand embarrassment and colleagues shifting about and smirking. When I finally finished I said 'well that sounded better in my head'...I think about it now and then and feel like I want the earth to swallow me up still. It wasn't even the first time this had happened to me. From that point on, in that situation I would make notes and refer to them which helped!
As a teenager there was a local lad I fancied like mad but hadn't spoken to before. After a night in the pub a mutual friend saw me in the street and called me over to talk to said crush. I started walking over in my platform heels, my ankle went over and I laid sprawled in the street in front of him - he turned and walked away!! I was mortified but tbh it showed me he was actually a total nobhead so I wasn't too upset and got over my crush instantly.
I've had so many toe curlingly embarrassing moments in my life that I could write a book!

I was having a fitness assessment at my at the gym and my PT had me wired to a heart rate monitor. The monitor suddenly went very fast as another PT tall and with all the muscles came up to speak to him, they were both puzzled as to why it shot up suddenly. Maybe it dawned on them later.

Oh my God, @SparrowNest15 , I know it's bad but that's such a perfect cringe story!

Actually reminds me of another one. My late mum was registered blind in the last couple of years of her life, but she really masked it very well and lots of people didn't actually realise. So I'm typing this in case the nurse in question isn't on MN:
When my mum was in hospital, she was getting herself really upset about something really inconsequential, but she had dementia and things that would seem trivial to us could sometimes set her brain off into a major panic. One of the nurses was trying to get her to calm down and she kept saying "Cathy, it's alright, it's ok" etc but when that didn't work she said "Now Cathy, look at me. LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!" and I said quietly, "emmm, you do know she's blind don't you?" Poor woman went absolutely scarlet with embarrassment, I felt so sorry for her.