make me feel better by telling me about cringing at yourself

[CrinolinMcCringe]

I had an appointment with a man I fancied a bit in a professional context.
He asked me how I was and I didn't just overshare, it was like projectile vomiting sharing. The worst bit is that after I left I realised I was subconcious trying to impress him but really it was like I'd vomited on him with my life. I keep thinking about it and I want to die. I don't know him at all and the 'how are you' question was that very English thing of not a real question which makes it worse.

Please tell me something you've done that made you cringe to make me feel better.

I’m quite new to my job and work from home so meetings are done over the phone/Teams using a work phone.

On the morning of the election result I had been ecstatically dancing around my living room before work with ‘Things can only get better’ by DReam blasting on my personal phone.

Cue later, I’m in a work meeting with 2 managers and had to use my personal phone to look something up. I’m trying to be professional, helpful and to make a good impression. But, yep, as I attempt to use my phone the song starts blaring out, it took me several moments to get it to stop.

I apologies profusely for this unprofessional moment and explain how happy I’d been that morning thinking they’d empathise or find it amusing. They said nothing and didn’t laugh.

So we carried on.

But

It happened a second time and took me longer to shut it down. Several lines/bars of the song blared out over the call, again.

Lol, I wish they’d found it funny so I just cringe so bad.

Oh god these are so funny but this one was a nightmare trying to laugh quietly as one year old is having a nap on the couch next to me! Shaking the couch trying to keep it in!

@NikKai Ha ha I'm glad it made you laugh. 😄 Hope the rest of nap time goes less shakingly though ha ha! I know what you mean....the one from the lady who slid towards the postman with her bottom on display completely did for me! 😂

That’s not embarassing, it’s your job! 18 year old till workers have to ID people all the time.

I was out with a friend, and we happened to see Orlando Bloom walking down the other side of the road (this was just before the first LOTR film came out, and as a big geek we recognised him, but he wasn't being mobbed).

We were so focused on staring at him, that I walked straight into a lamppost, fell backwards into my friend, and we ended up in a pile of tangled limbs in a puddle.

Suffice to say, he didn't give us a second thought, and we were way too embarrassed to ask for an autograph

As part of my O Level Music course, I had to play an instrument. I didn't play anything, so had singing lessons instead. My teacher entered me into a Scottish Folk song singing competition where we all had to sing the same song. My turn came and I was wracked with nerves. I can't remember anything about the actual singing but I do remember seeing my mum in the audience looking shocked and embarrassed and my singing teacher looking horrified and muttering to herself. I have no idea what went so wrong to elicit those reactions but it makes me curl up and die inside every time I remember it. ☹️

When I was seven years old I ran into the kitchen shouting "Daddy, Daddy there's a program on the television called dishcloth!" Turned out it was called "Discotheque".

It still makes me cringe when I think of it over half a century later.

Ah..embarrassment by proxy 😂

Job Interview.

I was asked if I enjoyed travelling with work.

I meant to say "I like to stretch my legs and spread my wings".

I actually said "I like to spread my legs and stretch my wings".
^
The silence was deadly.

Didn't get the job^

I was once visiting an old friend who is a married guy with wife and family. I had been invited to stay by them because of going through a difficult time and was assured I was very welcome. (It was not my idea but it was a holiday in a different country that sounded relaxing. They were super kind in gifting me a whole (very plush) house to myself that belonged to his aunt and uncle who were away. Okay.

Unsurprisingly this was a Big Mistake. His wife was clearly (and perhaps understandably) uncomfortable with this and compensated by being overly nice whilst simultaneously refusing to have a one on one conversation with me. His in laws were just as bad. Although I’d previously had a crush years before, I had absolutely no interest in my friend romantically. I was getting over a major breakup. But. The whole trip was major cringe.

What made it worse was I met her mother who acted much in the same way, and compensated by gifting me with a CD of herself singing. I was really confused by this and said “oh, are you famous?”
Turns out she was - locally. I had no idea. She was an insufferable woman and I trashed the CD when I got home. She probably disliked me just as much.

But the icing on the cake was the night before the end of the trip, I had a rather large bowel movement and when flushing the toilet, rather than going down..,it flushed upwards with water and toilet paper spilling into the entire bathroom. I potentially ruined the towels trying to clean up and there was no bleach to disintegrate what was stuck in the toilet - apparently the cleaners kept all cleaning products with them. So I had to fly home and leave my giant turd in the toilet for them to deal with.

We never really spoke again.

@Runki - You should have a camera crew following you around at all times - I'd watch it! 😂

My Dad, similarly to yours, told us that when you see a hearse containing a coffin (empty hearses did NOT count...), then you had to hold your collar, as a mark of respect. Until the next time you saw a dog. Seriously!

DSis and I mindlessly complied with this "rule", until one day when I was out with a friend and a hearse passed by, complete with coffin. I automatically reached for my collar, then started scanning the locale for a dog. My very bemused friend, noting that I had stopped talking mid-sentence, and a clear change in my demeanour, asked (perfectly reasonably!) "What are you doing?"

I explained "The Rule".

She explained that my Dad was a wind up merchant.

I was 14. And very embarrassed. My Dad was highly amused when I recounted the tale to him later that day over dinner, at which point my DSis piped up "You must have looked like such a dick! Even I know that's not a thing, and I'm 12!" 😳

@Daffydaff @NotSoBigCrocodile

I was having my ear examined by a really handsome ENT consultant. He had a look inside my ear and said “you have very small ear canals”. I blushed and said “thank you”.

Reminds me of my appointment with a handsome ENT specialist, a real silver fox with a great manner. He had to put a tube down my nose, which was a bit runny that day, and I spent quite a lot of time telling him how my nose is usually quite dainty and dry, like a) he cared and b) I was trying to woo him with images of a nice dry nasal passage. Cringed as soon as I left the appointment and thankfully everything was fine so I never had to go back.

Both of these aren't that dissimilar to mine although it wasn't a dr. Losing your mind with the handsome professional. Makes me think though that handsome young and older silver fox type doctorss must get this ALL the time. It's probably a combination of the stress of going to the dr combine with relief that the dr is nice with a side portion of oooo he's lovely. I'm sure that's one of the reasons that it's prohibited for drs to have relationships with patients because that stress/vulnarability makes you more likely to be interested with someone helping you.

Women going into some sort of crush-induced waffly rubbish is probably standard fair for a handsome dr or any handsome professional. That's why I find my so cringe because I bet he went home and said 'I had another one today."

@Runki
that was hilarious. your description of "thelight hearted skip and hop" in your run absolutely made that story brilliant!

I had just got my newborn off to sleep after a feed and went out into the garden to hang out the washing. All was well with the world on a sunny, breezy day and I smiled and waved jauntily at the parish priest who was passing the garden gate. He looked horrified and scuttled past like lightning.
I only realised when I got inside that I'd still got my boobs fully out from feeding DS.
The dear old priest is long since dead but I still cringe inside out with embarrassment when I think about it.

I can't stop laughing at this 😂

I was bursting for the loo in a charity shop & they let me use the staff loo as a one off. I did my business then when I came out I thought my OH was stood next to the door so said "ahhhh, that's better!" It wasn't OH, it was a stranger. My OH was waiting outside the shop 😳

I was once with my DD on holiday In Cornwall. I was very disorganised and we had to go shopping as I needed a bikini. Well, everywhere was super busy including the changing rooms which were full of people (I guess other tourists?) doing the same thing. After eventually getting a cubicle that was actually curtained off, I was frantically trying on several bikinis. In my stress - induced panic to get out of there fast, I somehow managed to expose my bare bottom to a whole changing room full of people when bending down.

Omg that's hilarious 😂

😂. I’m still cringing some 15 years later. It has made me check things twice before I hit send

@SecretWitch I can well imagine ha ha!

I mis-typed the word "public," by missing out the letter 'l'.

This would have just been one of those things, were it not on an order of service for a church service...

I have probably posted this one before but when I was about 17 and worked in a supermarket, one of the former staff members, an older lady, used to shop regularly there. I always said hello to her. One day she came in and I said hi how are you,?
She replied what I thought was "my friend was married today". I said ooh that's lovely!!
Later on when talking to other colleagues I realised she had actually said "my friend was buried today"
45 years on I still cringe about it 😬 😅

Was rear-ended by a work van. Had my young kids in the car, fairly stressful.

Police arrived, we drove to the nearest lay-by and they asked me some questions, including how old was I?

How old do you think I look? I answered.

I can only think it was the shock of the accident but I think about it often and cringe.

I went to an exercise class that I'd never been to before on the local sports centre. The receptionist directed me to the main hall. I noticed some people doing their stretches so I took a spot and started copying the instructor. He started to walk over to me and I had a sinking feeling I knew what he was going to say. Yes, he said "we're just finishing, the class you want is over there..." pointing to the other side of the hall where people were sat waiting for their class to start...

A friend of mine works as a TA and when she was first starting out she was invited to a curry night with some of the teachers. She really looked up to them but as she was quite shy she had a few drinks to calm her nerves. She went to pick up her glass of red wine but accidentally picked up the bottle, went to take a small sip & spilt the whole lot down her top. The teacher opposite didn't know where to look