make me feel better by telling me about cringing at yourself

[CrinolinMcCringe]

I had an appointment with a man I fancied a bit in a professional context.
He asked me how I was and I didn't just overshare, it was like projectile vomiting sharing. The worst bit is that after I left I realised I was subconcious trying to impress him but really it was like I'd vomited on him with my life. I keep thinking about it and I want to die. I don't know him at all and the 'how are you' question was that very English thing of not a real question which makes it worse.

Please tell me something you've done that made you cringe to make me feel better.

A few weeks ago someone I know walked past me, said hello then told me it was their birthday

A normal person would say " Happy Birthday " back to that wouldnt they. Me? I said "well done" 🤦‍♀️I bet he thought I was a right sarcastic git but actually I just panicked and said the first thing that came to my head

@Notamum12345577 , he didn't say anything at all, he just quite firmly extracted his hand from mine and stood there silently. I said "sorry" in this tiny wee voice.

Aaaaargh, I've just gone all hot again at the memory!

Oh God I've remembered another...Started a new job and was chatting to my line manager about my new car. She asked if I had a photo so found one on my phone and passed it to her. She looked and then SWIPED...straight onto a close up dick pic that an ex had recently (unasked for) sent me that I had gone automatically into my photo's from WhatsApp. She just passed the phone back and I uttered some explanation. Nothing was said about it, I think we both went in to a sort of shock and mentally 'reset' like it never happened!

time for new glasses I think! You made me laugh so much though @Ponoka7

About 15 years ago I was sitting in the toilet carriage of one of those big disabled toilets with the round doors which open via a button. It was a commuter train, so it was full. I was in one of the fold seats along the side of the carriage literally right outside the door. Middle aged lady walks up, presses button, door opens, in she goes, door closes. About a minute later a guy walks up. I nearly say to him ‘there someone in there’ but I check myself because there’s no need (I assumed). Guy presses button, DOOR OPENS (she’s forgotten to press the ‘lock’ button) 😱. She on the toilet but leaps up, simultaneously trying to hide herself (not possible) and press the button to close the door. There were gasps and I think I let out a high pitched ‘oh no!’. door closes - poor guy mumbles sorry and leaves but then she’s still in there with about 20 mins of the journey left. She waited 10 mins then strode out, head held high. I still cringe for her to this day.

💀@Icanttakethisanymore

When I was in 6th form at my Catholic school I was entered into a county-wide speech-making competition and had to write and present a speech on Diversity.

I was the first candidate and 17 year old me happily stood up and spoke confidently about the Diversity of the Mafia for 5 mins. I covered extortion, drugs, prostitution, gambling, the film industry etc. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the open jaws of the audience, or how I felt when 9 other Catholic teenagers spoke eloquently about equality and inclusion as I had to sit there waiting for it to please be over.

Arghhh I still go cold thinking about it.

This happened to my DH about a month or two ago - a strange woman fell onto his lap in that exact scenario! Was it you @gegs73 ?! Bakerloo line, heading south, nearish Queen's Park. He is a white man with glasses and dark brown hair, regular build, in his 40s. He thought it was funny and wasn't at all mortified, just one of those things.

This is the epitome of cringe 😂 I’m cringing so much for you omg

Not a cringe at myself but an embarrassment. In the '80s we went to Blackpool one day and it started to pour down, we noticed that Joseph and His Technicolour Dreamcoat was on stage in one of the theatres and we asked if there were still tickets. There were, we were sitting about 4 rows back, no-one at all behind us, not entirely popular. The previous term my husband had been involved in putting it on at school, and at one point our eldest daughter reached across me and her sister to say to her dad 'Not as good as yours, is it Daddy?! Unfortunately there was a lull in the music, her words carried up on to the stage and she got such a glare from the star!

My autistic son got really into cars but his pronunciation isn’t great. He went through a phase of asking everyone about what car they had. The Volvo stage wasn’t good. I remember meeting someone from my work in the street and he asked if she had a vulva. She looked mortified and I couldn’t shut him up. I was able to explain later thank god. Don’t know what everyone else around us thought!

Oh glods I have two I'm not even going to say because they take far too long to explain and... well... shudder (but my G&S colleagues know exactly what I did)

When I was 20 and - importantly - not myself a driver I was explaining to my newish boyfriend which M1 junction to take to get to my parents' house. I said confidently "it's quite a big junction - it's got a roundabout"

Later, when I realised the difference between A-roads and motorways I assumed he must have been blinded by lust, or something...

This thread has just made me relive my cringiest moment from secondary school

Not long started in year 7, coming off the bus which pulls up right in front of where all students congregated before school started. I somehow miss my footing and fell down the stairs of the bus, but not just any normal fall. I fell headfirst and stopped with my hands on the first step and my feet up on the top one, I was completely stuck unless I wanted to actually faceplant off the bus in to the concrete, so I had to wait for some of the teachers to come and lift me off 🫣

God over 20 years later and I'm still cringing massively 🙈

Reading about falling on public transport reminds me of this cringy moment. I would be about 14 and was on the top deck of this bus, as it approached my stop I moved towards the stairs. The bus jerked and I fell forward, grabbing the hand pole that used to run from the top deck to the bottom, I swung round this without touching a step down to the bottom deck. Can I claim to have invented pole dancing??
I also recall when I was in the 6th form and talking to someone slightly older who I really fancied and he was asking what how my Uni applications were going. I said I had an offer from Bristol but didn't fancy it as it seemed full of Oxford and Cambridge rejects. 'Thanks' he said and that was the end of that!

I bet your speech was a LOT more entertaining than the others 😂

I had an absolutely horrible nasty boss. She made my working life unbearable.

Had an interview arranged and sent my friend an email telling her all about it and asking what excuse could I make to Medusa to get out early.

Accidently sent it to horrible boss when it autofilled the address which was similar to friend.

That was fun

Back in the 80s I had a long baggy shirt which I would wear belted with a pencil skirt. Back then when I had nice firm jugs I used to go out bra-less. My friends and i were stood by the dance floor in a busy club and I started to realise that people on the dance floor were looking at me. I realised eventually that as I had tucked my clutch bag under my arm it had moved the shirt round a bit and one of my fine knockers had poked straight through one of the gaps in the buttons, there for all to see. I'm very glad it didn't happen in these times or I would have ended up all over social media. I was mortified and stayed away from that club for about a year 🤣🤣

Trying to be a vixen, I sent my husband a naughty boob pic.

Unfortunately, I sent my boob shoot to my Rabbi with the words " Whatcha think of these, baby"

He responded with " I think you meant this for someone else. See you Friday night.."

I still turn red thinking about this

God what a horrible judgemental person you are.
vile

How funny and yes it was the Bakerloo line where it happened! The guy didn’t look like your husband though so maybe it’s a regular thing, it’s a really bumpy line.

Very funny. I think maybe you did invent pole dancing !

Gosh . My most recent one was probably about 2 years ago in a pub .

I had far too much to drink , way more than I usually do. And I started hiccuping. Suddenly I had a massive coughing fit , followed by a hiccup- and vomited everywhere.

I have never been so embarrassed in my life. The only saving grace was that I was 30 miles away from home and apart from the people I was with no one knew me .

I didn’t drink for a year after that I was so embarrassed.

far to old for that carryon !

I think you might want to look in the mirror. @Ponoka7 was just recounting a story that she cringes about but you have to say this.
Shame on a nice light hearted thread too

Years ago,when you actually had the same family GP,who you saw every time you went to the Drs,I had the loveliest GP.
I'd known him years,his kids were a similar age to mine.
One particular appointment,he got up from behind his desk to examine me and he was limping. I said "Oh,have the kids kicked you in the knee,playing football?"
He replied"No,I had bone cancer when I was a teenager,and had my leg removed. It's an artificial one". He was sooo nice about it,While I wished that the floor would just open up and swallow me.

It was over 15 years ago now,but I still cringe at the thought of it. He left the surgery a few years ago to work in another part of the country so I no longer see him,but that experience taught me to think before you speak.

First day at university. Guy year above me on my course introduced himself to me: “hi, my name’s Ollie.”

”So is mine!” I said

Reader. My name is not Ollie. 30 years later I have NO IDEA why I said that 🙈