make me feel better by telling me about cringing at yourself

[CrinolinMcCringe]

I had an appointment with a man I fancied a bit in a professional context.
He asked me how I was and I didn't just overshare, it was like projectile vomiting sharing. The worst bit is that after I left I realised I was subconcious trying to impress him but really it was like I'd vomited on him with my life. I keep thinking about it and I want to die. I don't know him at all and the 'how are you' question was that very English thing of not a real question which makes it worse.

Please tell me something you've done that made you cringe to make me feel better.

10/10 for being a dick.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh God I have done this sort of thing so many times - are you me?

I was on a date and had abit of a cold , he made me laugh and I blew snot out of my nose, I wanted to curl up and die

This thread has had me howling 😂

Where l used to work, we were all v flirty and had no filters. Got a new job and when one of the guys came back from hokiday, l forgot myself and said oh when are you hoing to show us your white bits? Worse thing was, his grandson worked there and l said it in front of him. Literally cringe whenever l think of it!!

@CLEO42 I'm confused! Why was your speech about the Mafia?!

Back in high school in the 90s, I joined the debating society. My first debate was about corporal punishment. Petrifying enough, as I'd completely underestimated my fear of public speaking, but the first person got up and delivered their speech on the wrongs of the death penalty.

I was second. I really thought that I must have got it all wrong, for these were the days when you used the library and encyclopedias, not google and wikipedia. Thankfully, once the others took their turn, I was reassured that I'd not misunderstood the assignment and that it was actually the other person who'd mixed up capital and corporal punishment, but that brief terror was enough to end my participation in the debating society.

you are all making me feel better but my cringing is still high. This @SecretWitch is excruciating. Did you have to find a new synagogue urgently?

I suppose my cringe factor is bad becuase I think he must have known I fancied him by my unnecessary verbage.

In another way this thread is not helping because it's made me think of more cringing things that I'd thought I'd forgetten.

I was in a work meeting that required someone to be selected for a role - think of the Apprentice when they have to pick a team leader. There were maybe two or threed people there I didn't know - mostly men in the room. I have a name that can be shortened but I don't like it shortened. The shortened form is unisex - think like Charlotte and Charlie. I was very new in the working world and was very keen to not be patronised as a woman.

After I had spoken, one of the men started to say
"The thing is Charlie...'
and - from my Don't Patronise Me Man I don't Know Soapbox- before he'd even got the words out of his mouth I belowed very aggressively "It's CHARLOTTE ACTUALLY".
and he said very quietly
'Erm... I was talking to that Charlie" - pointing at a man called Charlie who I didn't know.

Amazingly they did pick me for the role but for many many years I couldn't think of the name Charlie or either of these men without my insides curling up with cringe.

I was waiting for my son outside school in the car, I was scrolling my phone and had the radio on and the window down. I was singing to a song, aha uhu gonna get along without you now, got along without you before I met you, gonna get along without you now…..

Looked up and the headmaster was standing at the window looking quizzical. He wanted to speak to me about something school-related and that he enjoyed my singing.

Honestly, this is why I cringe. I was so completely and utterly off the mark

I was obviously heavily influenced by my reading at the time which was a combination of Mario Puzo novels and biographies of Marylin Monroe!

Honestly I never jumped a bollard again and it was years and years before I wore a dress again. I remember it so vividly and it was so mortifying just dangling there not knowing what to do and then I had to go to school the next day with a giant bruise in the middle of my forehead

The Saturday after the Queen died I was getting a Sainsbury’s delivery, they had just announced on the telly that there would be a bank holiday for the funeral. Trying to be chatty I said to the driver, “So I hear you’re going to get a day off!” Tbh yes it was a cringy thing to say and I don’t know why I did it, but it wasn’t long after one of my parents had died and I was probably still in shock about that. Anyway the driver muttered under his breath “Whoop-di-do” in such a rude and dismissive way I could still die thinking about it!! The rest of the delivery was completed in stony silence 🤣

I was waiting for a charity to collect a sofa. I couldn't wait to get rid of the bloody thing. I hear a van approach, think yeeeeeees, open the door and decide to be very helpful and show them where to park. I'm gesturing to the open door and pointing to my house. Doing come hither signals with my arms. I've come way too far out my drive because I'm being helpful after all and they need to know exactly where to get the stupid sofa from. To my utter mortification, the drivers stare at me, not impressed at all, do a u turn (live in a cul-de-sac) then drive away. It wasn't my delivery drivers. I ran back into the house muttering oh shit oh shit. They will have thought I was some sort of despo nutter house wife ushering any man she can find towards the house.

Oh gosh. I owned up but sent a sexy picture of madonna or something to another friend but on the workplace envelope (in the civil service) I hadn't realised there was another name on the reverse that hadn't been crossed out.
Oh dear, it went to the District Manager (also female as am I)
I was called in by my line manager. Cue total embarrasment, red face. All ok. Phew
But Aaaaaaaaagh!

I pressed the open button while on a packed train and the doors opened to a man having a wee side on. We all stood there while the doors very slowly closed again. I felt so bad for him!

There was a disabled/staff toilet on the corridor I worked on. It was locked as had a minor problem being fixed but everyone used it anyway as was fine if you knew what to do. Our keys worked on the toilets too. I was rushing and talking to some students up the corridor a little whilst unlocking the door and completely ignored the woman inside saying "I'm in here, I'M IN HERE" and opened the door to show her sitting on the loo. Luckily she saw the funny side but I was mortified.

In a job interview when asked to say a bit about me I said "I'm seven and I'm a Gemini then giggled..."

I was a twat as a 22 year old and was at a party and chatting to some blokes who graduated the same course the year before. Say it was an English degree and they were now trainee librarians. I thought they were joking and took the piss at what a rubbish job that would be for an English graduate. Utter utter Nob I was. Nothing wrong with being a librarian and actually my career isn't anything special!

I'm sorry what 😂😂😂

20 year old me got my bag strap looped onto a turnstile I was going through without noticing. I was also carrying an a1 art portfolio. I sort of got wedged stuck in a lunging position and someone behind me had to unhook me.

I was on my way to my friend’s new house for her birthday BBQ, an afternoon into evening affair. Somehow the taxi driver got mixed up and dropped me at no 27 of the next street.
I knocked at the front door assuming the party was round the back and a bloke with a footy shirt on answered. Assuming he was a friend I hadn’t met before, I cheerily waved two bottles of Prosecco at him and told him I was here for the party.
Poor bloke seemed very confused and didn’t seem to know whether to let me in or not.

I was working as a clinical services manager and needed statistics for a plan to review trends at the hospital. I went along to see the statistician chap. All went well until I got up to leave. I saw a very long hair on his collar. For some reason I lent forward to remove the hair. I was tugging away but it seemed to be attached to something. After a while he said “ it’s ok it’s a defect I was born with” I wanted the floor to open up.
which reminds me of another cringe from around the same time ……

Doing my thigh master as a teenager, in just my undies. And looking up to see the window cleaner doing his job!

I was having my ear examined by a really handsome ENT consultant. He had a look inside my ear and said “you have very small ear canals”. I blushed and said “thank you”.

You've never thought that someone looked like a nobhead? Considering how you've judged me, I find that hard to believe. But then you are someone who uses the word vile 😂

My new boyfriend was getting fuel. I was in the passenger seat and thought I would go in the shop and get us some drinks as it was a hot day. As I went to get out of car, my foot had got caught in my handbag straps and fell out the car, face first onto the tarmac. Bloodied my lips, grazed my nose and cheek. Cringing now 30 years on.

@Sickdissapointed I was working as a clinical services manager and needed statistics for a plan to review trends at the hospital. I went along to see the statistician chap. All went well until I got up to leave. I saw a very long hair on his collar. For some reason I lent forward to remove the hair. I was tugging away but it seemed to be attached to something. After a while he said “ it’s ok it’s a defect I was born with” I wanted the floor to open up. I’m actually crying 😂😂😂😂

@Dumdeedahdumdeedo haha. A teacher at my daughter’s old school once said “hello” to me and I replied “yeah, not bad, thanks. 🙃🙃