To ask if it’s bad to send your children to childcare when you’re not working?

[lilacfield]

I probably know the answer but feel a bit guilty as both cried when I dropped them off. They go 3 days a week but I don’t work in school holidays.

Definitely fine to do that! You have stuff to do, and it keeps their routine.

Keeping up routine is fine. As is helping them socialise. As is having some time to be you.

@lilacfield childcare is work though? So the question is, is it bad for you to have three days off work a week? I think we can safety say no, given you’ll be on call for them 24/7 the rest of the week.

Our local (non-UK) kindergarten has a summer school. Even though we're both teachers, our daughter is still going as we think it's important to keep her in a routine. She had 3 weeks off when we travelled, but she's back now and seems to be mostly enjoying it.

Of course it’s not “bad” - if it’s good childcare then keeping up some days is probably beneficial.

I might not send them every day if it was me, but some days.

Do they like it when they get there?

Everyone needs some time to themselves at some point!

Im assuming from this they are nursery age?

My DS is moaning that he's not at childcare today because he likes his friends more than me apparently

I think you’ve got to take advantage of it now as won’t be too much longer and you’ll have them every holiday! Plus you’re paying for it and can’t exactly stop as you won’t have your place again when you need it. I might take them out sometimes for days out or whatever but don’t feel guilty.

I wish mine did @mynameiscalypso … one child is 3 and seems ambivalent about it and the other is only 1 and still prone to tears at drop off. I do give them ‘short’ days and from August it’s only 2 days a week. But it’s hard going having them both home all the time!

Assuming it's day nursery so they are under 4, the consistency is probably easier on them than having six weeks off! And it means you can have some time to yourself to maintain sanity 😁.
I kept my son at the childminders 2 days a week (he was in term time preschool the rest of the week usually) last year and I loved being able to do all the boring grown up jobs while I knew he was having fun with other children. It meant I could be much more present the rest of the time.

I've been sending DS to the childminder even if I'm home with DD (who is school age). I have to pay for the childminder if he goes or not, and it gives DD time to enjoy things that are less appropriate when her little brother is around. He doesn't go every day

It would be nice if you wanted to spend your free time with them but it isn't bad if you don't.

It's fine. Mine always went in on the day I didn't work. It was the only way to get anything done with pre-schoolers.

Of course not. It would also be harder to settle them again after summer.

I'm a sahm, ds10 is in school anyway and we paid for dd to go to a private nursery then got her in to the school nursery and paid extra for afternoons, 5 days a week.
No regrets whatsoever, DD has flourished in that environment, probably more so than being stuck with me all day. I love spending time with them both but not all day, every day!!

Plus surely, they'll still need the nursery places once you go to work so you'd still be paying for the place, might as well send them in!

🤣🤣🤣

I think its more than fine, I think its good for you and the DC. If you can afford it, why wouldn't you? It still leaves 4 days to spend with them.

I always did this. Some days I did nothing but go to the gym and have coffee. Other days I went to appointments and did all the boring life admin things. Having time to myself helped me be a better and more patient mother.

Nope I only work school term and I find these are my actual break days. Although I end up gardening and doing housework I can’t do with a child underfoot.

She normally goes 3 days a week but when I’m on school holidays I send her 2 days a week so I feel less guilty

No of course not, it's a good thing for you to have time to yourself - either to get things done - or (gasp!) do something nice for you like get a haircut or go for a bike ride!

Of course someone will along in a minute to say you are letting other people raise your child and how can you not spend every waking moment with them?

And even people who work in nurseries often come onto threads like this to say how awful it is that parents (mothers) dare to have a day to themselves.

Utterly ridiculous.

When ds was small DH and I used to take our birthdays off, send him to nursery and go out for a nice lunch!

I do it just to keep them off the streets :)
Or probably should say screens these days :(

I absolutely did this.

Keeps routine, stops them getting bored, change for you and for them.

100% ok to do this

If I thought nursery was a bad place to send them then I wouldn’t send them at all.

My child loves nursery, they get so much out of it, they have friends, they socialise without me hanging about, they develop relationships with other adults, they learn and play. I send my child to nursery for those reasons, and yes I do work, but even if I didn’t I would still send them for those benefits.

Are you a teacher, OP? If so, I imagine your terms are full on and your holidays aren't entirely your own. Teachers do so much unpaid prep/work out of hours. And then you come home and have to wrangle 2 small children. Are they both sleeping through the night yet?

Take your down time when you can get it. You will be a better parent for recharging your batteries.

No. We broke up last Friday 1pm and by this point with no routine we are all feral and sad 😂