Making a move on DH's friend

[suspiciousqueen]

I posted previously on relationships board about my dh.

At the moment as it stands, I can't stand him, today I just lost it with him in front of the kids and then few mins later apologised to the kids and went for a walk to clear my head.
It's constantly on my mind of how he lied and hid stuff from me. I thought we were the kind of couple that would tell each other everything no matter what but obviously not.

So today I had a 'bright idea' of flirting with one of his friends when we all meet up this weekend. Just to fuck him off in all honesty.
I've always been loyal to my DH even when we were dating and his friends would give me lingering looks but I never fell for it.
I just want to give him a taste of his own medicine to show him what it feels like.

Beginning of this year he told me I can't be friends with his other group of friends cos one of his friends and I struck up a genuine friendship and he hated it. I never hid anything, told my DH everything we spoke about and it was all innocent but he nonetheless still didn't feel comfortable me talking to him so I cut ties with the friend which I was sad about.

So aibu in flirting outrageously with one of his friends this weekend?

Btw I haven't flirted with another guy in 30 years so will need help in this department!

Don't.

If you want to cause drama and distress possibly for your dcs too, then go for it.

Or just bin your h.

Then you're free to do whatever you want.

What a creep tho telling you who you can and can't be friends with. Controlling much?

Childish as fuck really. Who has time for petty games?

I’m afraid it doesn’t sound as though your marriage is on a good footing - your DH seems to be controlling but if you are thinking about playing silly games just to annoy him how is that going to help? If you’re not happy just walk away with dignity.

Jesus how toxic. Poor kids. Just leave him

What has happened previous to this?

You're not going to fix anything in your relationship by flirting with one of his friends, but there's a very good chance that the friend will be very uncomfortable and will not reciprocate in any way. After all you plan on doing this in front of your husband, his friend, it would be so embarrassing.

You're unhappy in your marriage, go for counselling if you think it can be saved, go to see a solicitor if you think it can't be saved.

Has this friend got a wife?

Lol - this is a bad idea and won’t end well!

Either, your flirting after 30 years is terrible, you make things worse with DH and completely embarrass yourself…

Or, it’s really good and the friend thinks you’re genuinely interested which you probs don’t actually want either!

ABORT this mission and think of a better revenge plan!

No don't do it. Whichever friend you choose is getting unfairly dragged into this.

Don't be stupid. This brilliant idea of yours will backfire spectacularly, I assure you, and you'll accomplish nothing aside from making a complete fool out of yourself.

Sounds like your kids are already living in a volatile environment - why make it worse?

You're hurt, angry and shocked by his behaviour. Flirting seems like a good idea only it's not, but your best option is to 'hold your water'.....get over the anger and when you have calmed down, which you will, make a plan to leave, a plan that will be best for you and your kids. You need to reach that cold common sense place before you act. Flirting with DH's friend will end in tears so channel your feelings to protecting those you love and if you cannot recover from his behaviour, make that plan. Good luck OP life will improve just be brave.

If you want his friends to think you are a desperate old slapper, go for it. If you want to retain and shreds of your dignity, don’t do this.

I don't see how any good can come of it. And quite honestly if you have DC and they would witness this, then that's really not ok

I just feel like I've wasted my time being loyal to him for him to just go and ruin it. I lost all my friends because of him, he was always an arse to them but because I was so in love with him I didn't call him out on it and took his side when my friends called him out on his crappy behaviour to me. Now I can see how he was isolating me. I've literally got no friends now and wasn't bothered about it at all because I had him and he was enough. I feel like such a mug.

I actually miss affection and hugs. His friend has always had a soft spot for me so I know he'll probably lap it up. And yeah I also want to hurt my DH. Want him to regret messing us up. But I am totally done with him as the trust is gone.
It's an evening out in central London so kids won't be there. We'll be having drinks. I'm going to make it fun for myself.
Anyone have any decent flirting techniques???

The poor kids! The pair of you sound ridiculous.

Absolutely.
If it's that bad just split up.

Poor kids

Poor friend

Grow up and deal with your relationship problems properly.

What could possibly go wrong eh?

I think you need to make a decision as to whether you want in or out of this relationship.

Whichever you decide, then make it happen.

either way, flirting with his friends is just skanky behaviour that won’t get you closer to whichever objective you choose. It will also make you look silly.

how old are your kids and can you afford to get away from him?

Your kids don't deserve this game-playing. They didn't ask to be in the middle of their parents' shitshow. Do better by them.

This is a shit idea OP. Just leave him, do your kids and yourself a favour. Don't go embarrassing yourself flirting with his mates. It's just grim.

You'll make an absolute fool of yourself.