Making a move on DH's friend

[suspiciousqueen]

I posted previously on relationships board about my dh.

At the moment as it stands, I can't stand him, today I just lost it with him in front of the kids and then few mins later apologised to the kids and went for a walk to clear my head.
It's constantly on my mind of how he lied and hid stuff from me. I thought we were the kind of couple that would tell each other everything no matter what but obviously not.

So today I had a 'bright idea' of flirting with one of his friends when we all meet up this weekend. Just to fuck him off in all honesty.
I've always been loyal to my DH even when we were dating and his friends would give me lingering looks but I never fell for it.
I just want to give him a taste of his own medicine to show him what it feels like.

Beginning of this year he told me I can't be friends with his other group of friends cos one of his friends and I struck up a genuine friendship and he hated it. I never hid anything, told my DH everything we spoke about and it was all innocent but he nonetheless still didn't feel comfortable me talking to him so I cut ties with the friend which I was sad about.

So aibu in flirting outrageously with one of his friends this weekend?

Btw I haven't flirted with another guy in 30 years so will need help in this department!

It sounds like you’ve both checked out of the marriage now anyway?

Tell people you’ve split up. Even living in the same house can mean you’re separated.

You can then still go out for the weekend but knowing you’re single.

Do NOT flirt with his friend, that will look like desperation.

Build a new life for yourself.

Remember, silly games win silly prizes.

Horrible behaviour. If you hate him this much, leave. It will be uncomfortable for his friend, for everyone else who is there.
Just grow up.

Can someone or OP please link to the previous thread/ back story here.
*but I completely agree with all PP this is an unhinged and toxic idea that will backfire and further damage children already living in a toxic environment.

Poor friend. Why drag him into this toxic situation?

Wouldn't it be easier to break up with him?

Oh grow up!

Are you 17?

Please just file for divorce and tell everyone that you are. Old friends will get in contact again.

Then everything else will slowly fall into place. Go grey on the man, get your ducks and in a row financially.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5117702-damn-him-to-bits

are you pretty OP?

If you dislike each other as much as you say , why make it worse .

What about if they don't flirt back...........

Just get a divorce

@suspiciousqueen Stop being a petulant child. Just be an adult, for your children for goodness sake. End the relationship with some dignity or else you're just as bad as him. Plus hurting other innocent people in the process. Grow up!

Married people flirting with anyone other than their spouse is a really, really, really bad look. It will not reflect well on you. If you despise your husband you need to tell him it’s over and sort out the relationship wreckage and protect your kids before you start flirting with other men. I get that you’re really unhappy with him but flirting with his friend is so not the answer.

Alternatively you could act like an adult and seek some legal advice about getting a divorce. All this game playing is what teenagers do. Grow up!

You sound very immature

if one of your DC was behaving like this what would you say? Leave with your head held high & make some of your own new friends. Turn your attention onto sorting out a new life for yourself.

Your husband is not going to be hurt or want you back if you flirt with his friend, he is going to think you are desperate and pathetic, as is the friend. Please listen to everyone telling you this will only end in you looking immature & unstable. Do not do this to yourself @suspiciousqueen.

PS. Alcohol + extramarital flirting = the opposite of a fun night.

He sounds like a controlling dick and you want to play games to make him feel jealous. Add to this the fact that you're in an affection-free marriage. I think you need to consider how much longer you're prepared to continue being in such a relationship.

No childish games, no winding each other up, just leave. For you and your kids' sake.

Please don't do this to yourself. I know you're hurting but your plan is truly hideous.
I don't think you should go on this night out at all tbh. Why would you want to socialise with your H's friends at all! I would bet that the 'friend' will be absolutely repulsed if his mate's wife starts flirting with him. This is not where your future lies.
You need to keep your balance, and start the divorce before things get any worse at home. Your kids need you to be better than this!
Make a plan for your future without your H. Being happy and fulfilled, and a kick ass parent is the best revenge you could have.

I did something like this once OP.

Except I was an extremely immature 19 year old who wasn't married and didn't have any kids. It still didn't end well for anyone.

You need to focus on yourself and your children and start the divorce process. You are 'losing it' with him in front of the kids and they deserve 100 times better than that, they do not deserve to be caught up in this mess between their parents.

You need to grow up and start doing a lot better for yourself and for your kids, stop the toxic game playing in this dysfunctional relationship and get the hell out.

I think you're being ridiculous and behaving like an immature 14 year old. If you have any respect at all for the friend, why are you involving him in your petty games? Whatever has gone in between you and your husband, if your answer is to go on a public internet forum and ask for advice on how to flirt with one of your husband's friends, then you really are showing yourself to be as much of an arsehole as he is. Either you and your husband should take the vows you made to each other when you got married seriously and try to sort out your marriage, or you should call it a day.

Also some counselling to work out how you split and co parent amicably sounds like it would be a very good idea.