Why do some people have conversations like this? AIBU or is it really annoying!

[Cookiecrumblepie]

"Your dog was so cute as a puppy".
"Well, he is cute as a grown dog as well".

"Sandra is really clever".
"I've always thought Debbie is very clever".

"My son is struggling a bit with reading".
"We never pushed our children with reading".

Someone who never agrees with anything said and is always insinuating something with their response or making a statement that is irrelevant. AIBU or is this conversation style really strange? It's so annoying!

Do some people have conversations like this?
😉

Are you saying you don’t like people to disagree with you?

Sorry but people are totally entitled to their perspective on situations: if you’re not open to the potential for different views maybe don’t share your opinions?

Conversations that consist of people agreeing with one another all the time are a waste of breath.

It's

That is really not what she is saying.

I mean always disagreeing for the sake of it. Like I can never break through and find any point of similarity. It's always oppositional.

Totally agree OP as it does nothing but shut down any further chat. It's rude.

I know exactly what you are talking about OP

I think you’re projecting ‘insinuations’ on them.
“Your dog was so cute as a puppy".
"Well, he is cute as a grown dog as well".
What’s wrong with this?
If anything, person A was a bit rude.

I just dismiss people like this mentally as assholes & don't engage any further than I need to.

I have a colleague like this. I try never to express an idea/plan/experience in their presence because they always respond by shitting all over it. It can be hard to dodge when they ask me a direct question though.

How on earth was person A rude in the example about the puppy ?

I know the sort of thing you mean. I think it shows poor listening skills and a strange determination to invalidate the other person every step of the way. Is it one person you’re thinking of or does this happen often with various people?

So do I. It’s tiring, so I tend to just smile and not try to engage.

That's a really awkward conversation ender. Yeah I don't think I'd keep trying with a person who did that, you'd never get anywhere trying to discuss something.

I get this all the time.

Some people are just hard work!

The implication is that the dog is no longer cute.

I know exactly what you mean . It's not about people agreeing at all.

It's more about people not really engaging with what you've said. Just playing tit for tat in return.

I've come across this with a few particular people. Just find it really difficult, unpleasant and very hard to find common ground. It's like every step is a battle.

As if a conversation is about a competition to bat the ball back.

I call this 'I say black, you say white'.

Like Ruth Duggan in This Time with Alan Partridge. I love her 😂
https://www.google.com/search?q=alan+partridge+ruth&oq=alan+partridge+ruth&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCDg4OTFqMGo5qAIOsAIB&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8&chrome_dse_attribution=1#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:1fefa437,vid:Ap-hLTToZHo,st:0
But in real life it would be very annoying..!

No 2 is sidestepping "I don't think Sandra is clever", no 3 - well what do you expect them to say? "Oh dear, I'm sorry he's finding it hard" is a bit of a conversation-ender in it's own right, and anything else is unsolicited advice.

I find the first example the least worst, there's the potential to continue to attempt a conversation about the dog involved. The other two I'd just feel like I'm talking to a brick wall, one that makes noises back but it's still a brick wall.

I've known a few people like this. Sometimes I think they're being neggy and they're trying to make you defensive and on the back foot to feel superior.

I now avoid them. I've made it clear to mutuals that it's due to their attitude so I don't enjoy their company.

My time is precious - I don't spend it on people who can't engage in conversation like we're equals or who leave me feeling drained.