AIBU to have expected dinner?

[MagnusCanis]

DP and I live together and share cooking. Tonight was one of DP's normal nights to cook dinner.

I found out this morning, literally just as I was about to leave the house, that the three-day 100-mile-each-way work trip I was departing for was now just the one day so I would unexpectedly be back home this evening. I told DP this immediately.

Got home (three hours later than a normal office day) to find that DP had made and eaten her own dinner, but had left me to fend for myself and could not even offer a reason why. I have made my displeasure at this situation clear and DP has gone to bed in a huff.

Do you think she was considerate today?

I think the world doesn’t revolve around you. And if she’s generally considerate, this time you should have fended for yourself and been happy to see her, not had a go because you had to make your own food.

@MagnusCanis

what did she have for dinner op?

In our house dinner happens between around 12 noon and 1.30 PM. What we have in the evening is tea. Anyhow, were you so paralysed and confused you couldn't have called your partner, and worked out whether a home cooked meal was the best thing, or maybe you could call in at KFC or Wagamama or a chippy or a kebab place or something? Anyhow, you're obviously the bloke so you're the dick (of course). People are dying in Gaza and you post this crap. Way to be a twat. Sorry but that's what I think.

I don't even know.

I think you have issues in your relationship beyond lack of 'dinner'.

I think you have issues in your relationship beyond lack of 'dinner'.

How did you "show your displeasure"
I'd have probably gone to bed if someone came home three hours late expecting an immediate dinner and shouted at me. Just make a bloody sandwich. It's not a big deal. It shouldn't be anyway.

I would have grabbed something on the journey home.
It can't be good for relationships to be so rigid with routine.

I love the assumption that I shouted.

Well did you? What does show your displeasure mean? Shouting? Chucking things? Silent treatment? Tantrum? If you spoke to her like shit I'm not surprised she went to bed. If you asked her if there was any tea that's a bit different.

I’m sure it wasn’t done maliciously. Sounds a big fuss about nothing. Just grow up and make some cheese on toast or something.

This!

I expressed my displeasure. Did you now?

They're not your PA. when you said you'd be home early did you say "would you mind making me dinner too love?" People think about all kinds of things during the day, it's absolutely not a big deal not to remember to cook dinner when that's not usually the day you do it.

I'd have laughed at you expressing your displeasure and said Oh well, make yourself a sandwich then.

You sound like a lot of work

Yes, because I’d have shopped and planned for cooking something I loved just for me. Zucchini and chickpeas or omelette etc. Or possibly just cake. I wouldn’t change that plan , that should be allowed in a couple sometimes and you should have communicated. It’s pretty rude to assume your last minute plan change means her plans change too, my dh would get short shrift if he thought that.

But she obviously is plenty of times! I’d dislike trading nights to cook, it would interfere with my work finish time, my gym and evening meetings schedule. Maybe you should value the flex and support you get, rather than just expecting more of it without you’re having to ask.

Why did you not say explicitly " plans have changed, I'm going to be home today after work, do you mind making me something for dinner I can heat up later please? "

This is your failure to communicate your expectations clearly.

Honestly you sound really entitled.

You think because you had a long day your partner should change their plans on dime (read your mind) to cater to you?

Grow up.

Fucking hell, it wasn’t last minute - OP told her that morning. Ringing on the way home after leaving early unexpectedly? Yes, I’d accept that my partner might have already eaten. If I’d told them my plans had changed a whole working day ahead, I’d be mightily pissed off if they wailed, “But I wanted my lovely zucchini and chickpea omelette, just for meeeee!”

Between you and the posters claiming it would involve moving heaven and earth to turn one meal into two with just ten hours notice, I’m incredibly glad I’m single.

You’ve made all this up.

In our house dinner happens between around 12 noon and 1.30 PM. What we have in the evening is tea.

Thank goodness you shared this.

what a ridiculous post

Hold up, you told her as soon as you knew, ie first thing this morning. Call me crazy, but I’d expect my DH to make me dinner too if he knew I was coming home instead of not being there. I don’t get why the OP is being vilified for this!

That is last minute though! I work a busy job and we plan our shopping so we can cope. The days when we could wander up to the shop any day or just drop off on the way home are long gone. Also, a person in a relationship is allowed to look forward to a solo meal of their choosing every now and then, and their partner should understand that.

In our house dinner happens between around 12 noon and 1.30 PM. What we have in the evening is tea. Anyhow, were you so paralysed and confused you couldn't have called your partner, and worked out whether a home cooked meal was the best thing, or maybe you could call in at KFC or Wagamama or a chippy or a kebab place or something? Anyhow, you're obviously the bloke so you're the dick (of course). People are dying in Gaza and you post this crap. Way to be a twat. Sorry but that's what I think

@SeeSeeRider what the actual fuck is this?! Sounds like the ramblings of a madman

Fend for yourself? Are in you in the Australian outback? Or the Himalayas?

I thought this tbh. Just put something quick in the oven. I probably would have gone to bed. Seems like such an overreaction from you.