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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men are too comfortable in public

223 replies

Throwwaway · 23/07/2024 18:32

This is the first time I’ve really noticed it but as I was playing with my son in a park, a man was on the phone with his hand literally inside his trousers as he paced. Every now and then he’s pull it out and scratch his balls and put it back in. Like all the way in. It’s weird. I could never get away with doing this. It’s rude and I don’t want to have to see that. I feel like this wouldn’t have happened 50-100 years ago and it’s slobbish and disgusting not to mention unhygienic. I feel unreasonable for being annoyed at this. They’re so comfortable in society that the park is like their bedroom apparently. Whereas women often feel the need to make themselves as small as possible in society. Rant over.

Men are too comfortable in public
Men are too comfortable in public
OP posts:
Henowner · 23/07/2024 18:34

You're right it's absolutely disgusting behaviour and other men need to start calling it out.

LauraNorda · 23/07/2024 18:34

You're the creepy one, taking sly pictures of blokes in public. Whats wrong with you?

AnotherVice · 23/07/2024 18:38

Urgh, I've seen this this week too. Absolutely disgusting.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 23/07/2024 18:43

You've actually taken and published a photo of a man scratching his balls? Just why?? 🤣🤣

YANBU, of course it's disgusting, they need to sort that out.

And 'women often feel the need to make themselves as small as possible in society', also need to sort that out.

hastingsmax · 23/07/2024 18:44

You took a photo of a stranger and posted it? Weird.

Offforatwix · 23/07/2024 18:46

I wonder if loungewear is the real criminal here. This wouldn't have happened with a Mr Darcy style pair of breeches

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/07/2024 18:48

This does happen but the picture here is a borderline situation: the guy could just be looking for his keys. Also a bit OTT to photograph him and put his picture on a national forum. It’s quite likely he was just being a bit of a slob and you wouldn’t like it if someone snapped you in your PJs and stuck in on Mumsnet.

OkPedro · 23/07/2024 18:52

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/07/2024 18:48

This does happen but the picture here is a borderline situation: the guy could just be looking for his keys. Also a bit OTT to photograph him and put his picture on a national forum. It’s quite likely he was just being a bit of a slob and you wouldn’t like it if someone snapped you in your PJs and stuck in on Mumsnet.

I hope he doesn't keep his keys in his boxers 😆 come on now he's clearly having a scratch/ feel. I unfortunately see this regularly, usually teenagers

FindThatThing · 23/07/2024 19:01

come on now he's clearly having a scratch/ feel.

Can someone tell me or if you have a man in the house, please ask them for me:
why do (some?) men have to feel and check their junk?

Are they worried they left them behind ?🤣

Pieceofpurplesky · 23/07/2024 19:04

I hope nobody took a photo of me today - I walked round for an hour with a button open on my shirt flashing my bra and boob at people!

Seriously, once you have taught in a high school nothing boys/men do in public would shock you!

NewName24 · 23/07/2024 19:39

Why would you think it okay to take a photo of a stranger and publish it on an international forum ? Hmm

Someone is being unreasonable here, OP, and that is you.

hennybeans · 23/07/2024 19:47

I don’t know why people have an issue with the photos which don’t show his face or anything identifiable at all.

I see mostly teenage boys doing this. It’s definitely a thing. I’ve pointed it out to my teenage ds and pleaded with him never to walk around with his hands down his pants.

Grazianoscubanheel · 23/07/2024 19:49

He's probably self soothing. Grabbing the old meat and 2 veg, crafty sniff, get on with his day and pop back in at will.

As for the photo, no expectation of privacy in public so OP can overtly record these dick strokers if she likes.

SerafinasGoose · 23/07/2024 19:50

If a few more people were as censorious of this behaviour as society so often is of women's then maybe men wouldn't feel such a compelling need to do it.

But then, of course, the entirely of the blame would fall onto the woman who had the barefaced temerity to shame their actions for what they are. Which are seedy, unhygienic and totally anti-social.

In answer to your question OP: yes, they are far too comfortable. Don't even be repentant.

Cinocino · 23/07/2024 19:51

Their weird behaviour doesn’t excuse yours. It’s very disturbing to take photos of people in public and post it on the internet.

InfoSecInTheCity · 23/07/2024 20:09

I saw a group of teens in Primark the other day, 2 were girls presenting in a masculine way, not sure if non-binary, or trans men or what but clearly trying to be masculine and both were doing this. Hands down inside waistbands as they walked around doing the slouchy strutting walk, so apparently having your hand on your bits in public is part of what being a man is.

Throwwaway · 23/07/2024 20:28

Nobody can see his face, I’ve even cropped out the logo on shirt and identifying buildings. I love how his comfort comes before mine 😂 because this is not an accident. If a button was open etc it’s not the same as outright touching yourself in a public park in broad daylight. Nothing to hide nothing to fear. I never go out in pyjamas, never have, never will 🤢. I would never do anything that I wouldn’t want photographed in public 🤷‍♀️.

OP posts:
CeruleanDive · 23/07/2024 20:34

Cinocino · 23/07/2024 19:51

Their weird behaviour doesn’t excuse yours. It’s very disturbing to take photos of people in public and post it on the internet.

Disturbing? Truly? Why?

G123456789 · 23/07/2024 20:37

As a man. No current fashion isn't relevant. I've seen a bloke in a tux reach down the back and scratch his arse...many men are disgusting.

I do scratch mine, but in private. But I don't constantly touch bits of myself....I always wonder myself why some guys do it...I worked with a bloke I nicknamed the tapper...he was always tapping is groin!

Throwwaway · 23/07/2024 20:46

G123456789 · 23/07/2024 20:37

As a man. No current fashion isn't relevant. I've seen a bloke in a tux reach down the back and scratch his arse...many men are disgusting.

I do scratch mine, but in private. But I don't constantly touch bits of myself....I always wonder myself why some guys do it...I worked with a bloke I nicknamed the tapper...he was always tapping is groin!

I know right? It’s the public-ness of it that irks me! Interesting point about fashion because I did think that might be relevant but no 😂
theres a certain privilege in being able to be that ‘comfortable’ though. Can you imagine if I reached under my bra and starting holding my left tit while pacing on the phone in the park on a sunny afternoon? 😂

OP posts:
Persiancouscous · 23/07/2024 20:49

Maybe he's got crabs 😂

blacksax · 23/07/2024 20:49

Pocket billiards is definitely a thing.

Suusue · 23/07/2024 20:59

They are absolutely disgusting. So many men these days dress and act like toddlers.

Awrite · 23/07/2024 21:05

Yup, I witnessed similar last week. I was surprised, so stared. Then chastised myself for staring. Then realised his crime was worse than mine (figure of speech, I know it's not a crime).

They are also noisy. You should hear some of them moaning and groaning in the cold shower after a sauna.

CityBro · 23/07/2024 21:18

Cue reddit thread: Weird lady kept taking photos of my scratching my bollocks, how would you feel about this?

OP, the photo is weird. You could have written this exact same thread without the photos.

YANBU re the public ball fondling - it's gross.