Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

I'd also be annoyed that she accepted 3 new holiday bikinis from you and then went out and bought new ones. Making the ones you bought, s giant waste of money

What's wrong with having 3? How bizarre!

But I agree, I would show so much of myself in front of my grandparents, how cringe!

I think the point is that the bikinis are cut to be super revealing, not that the OP’s size6, fully developed DD is too large for them.

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I don’t think there’s much you can do now. If she’s a swimmer she might find out quickly that they’re impractical. I had to buy a skimpy bikini when I forgot my swimwear and that’s all there was in the nearest shops (France). It probably wasn’t as skimpy as hers and the biggest problem was post partum belly overhang … until I tried to swim in it.
She’s embarrassed her grandad - but at 15 she’s not likely to reflect meaningfully on that. We still have to issue language warnings to Ds16 before the DGPs arrive.

I would be annoyed that she said nothing about the ones you bought together and then left them at home. Leave her be for now, though. If her grandmothers say anything, it will be awkward, but there’s nothing you can do about it.

Sorry, I missed the bit in the OP that says the grandpa is a paedophile.

This year on holiday I noticed a lot of young women wearing bikinis that didn't fully cover their vulvas. I think the horse has bolted and this is normal now.

Agree with all of this.

Seen them in gyms too. Pathetic.

i.e gym tights that clearly show they have had a full wax- you could draw their stuff.

!!! I nearly spat my drink out at this!!! Hilarious!

Do you mean this sort of thing op? My 16 yo dd has this bikini. It’s what they wear at that age.

Exactly, if she was going to wear a bikini anyway with a size 6 curves figure, surely he’d not be ‘looking’ anyway.

Dont make a big fuss but do point out nicely that her grandparents don't know where to look.

She's a swimmer- she lives in the pool and we are gone for 3 weeks.

If she normally lives in the pool - what does she live in?

Yes I'd say shaming a 15 year old girl with her unflattering bikini snaps to make a point, would make you a bit of a cunt actually.

Misquoted - meant the comment about nadgers oozing out …

Yep. You only have to watch a bit of Love Island to see that’s the fashion at the moment.

op I understand how you feel, I’d feel the same but sadly unless you want to completely ruin the holiday for everyone I think all you can do is suck it up and let her get on with it. The memories of everyone being in a sulk and everyone being in a terrible mood will last much longer than the bikinis will.

Size 6 is slim. I have a size 6 dd and she can get away with skimpy. She’s not a teen though. Her bottoms are two triangles with string sides. More recently tops are slightly more! Recently one had shoulder ruffles and was more like a bra. Pretty and classy I thought.

@FFSTeenagers I would leave the modesty discussion for now. If the grandparents aren’t happy, let them say something. My discussion might be more around women being paid next to nothing in sweat shops making a bikini for £8 retail. If she’s truly a feminist (she isn’t) she would be concerned with sweat shop labour wages for the women employed to make the bikinis.

Is this a joke or do you really think that bikini is super revealing?

Good on her for being body confident at 15. When I was 15 I went into the sea in jeans and a t shirt!

Chill out. Making a big fuss about this will achieve precisely nothing. Exchange eye rolls with the grandparents then go back to your book.

Ummm… why won’t her grandad sit by the pool because his granddaughter wants to wear a bikini? V puzzling.

First let’s be honest. No bikini is really modest is it? They all end up wedged up your arse when you get up from your sunlounger or out of the water, or swim in the sea and your bikini top ends up strangling you half to death whilst doing absolutely nothing to cover your boobs …

And whilst I’m sure this bikini IS probably not what you’d want your fifteen year old to wear, fifteen year olds always want to push it with clothes. You did it. I did it. Kate fricking Middleton- the QUEEN of modest dressing- did it. Tbh I think that surrounded by her parents and grandparents is probably the safest environment she CAN experiment with fashion. And I can guarantee, a bikini is not a bloody gateway drug to dressing like Bianca Censori and going out wearing a sofa cushion and a fur hat. She’s just trying things out. Working it out. Finding her way. And maybe she’ll look back at those holiday snaps in 30 years and go “fucking hell what was I thinking” and maybe she’ll go “wow I’m so glad I was so confident in my body when I was so young. That was a great holiday”.

Either way- don’t you want her to remember this break for the lovely time with you and your family? Not a row about some silly swimwear?

Hope your DD has brought a razor with her on holiday.
😉😁😁

OP, you need to de-escalate the situation.

Either shrug it off and just ask that she wears a sarong type wrap for walking around (because really, who can see much when she is sunbathing or in the pool?), or laugh and say 'ooops, that's the problem with mail order, they forgot to send the bit that actually covers you! Dd, it looks GREAT but as this is a family holiday lets go and buy you something to avoid embarrassing your poor grandads"

But really - if it covers her vulva and nipples, what's to worry about Just roll your eyes and think 'teens'.

I hear what you are saying and I would have been livid too, my dc are adults now and thankfully never went through this stage, one is quite shy about her body anyway. I found quite of lot of indecent bikinis and mens trunks for that matter last trip to Spain, I saw things I can't unsee by accident due to costume malfunctions, oddly the mostly elderly Germans swimming naked were less indecent as they weren't bending over in front of you or playing ball. If you are on a clothing optional beach, common it seems in the canaries it's your choice to be there