Furious with DD's swimwear

[FFSTeenagers]

Someone talk me down please!

On holiday with elderly parents and elderly in-laws - wonderful people. 15 yr old DD has emerged from her room to go to the pool in 5he smallest of bikinis. I can almost see her vagina.

I feel fucking ancient saying this. I hate myself for even feeling like this but she has zero modesty.

I bought her 3 bikinis (together - we went together) from Roxy and Next - lovely ones. Not one has arrived and instead she has bought, without my knowledge, 4 from shein that are not for her curvy build. Barely any material and I'm really embarrassed.

Confronting her has gone downhill rapidly and she's claiming that I'm hardly a feminist as 'she should be able to wear what she likes as it's her body'. She's not bloody wrong but what the hell happened to my daughter's modesty.

My parents and in-laws are sensing the atmosphere already and we only arrived an hour ago.

AIBU?

See if you can get her grandad to go to the pool wearing a mankini

She's a swimmer- she lives in the pool and we are gone for 3 weeks.

Would your dad have an issue with any other teenager or women by the pool in a triangle bikini. Because if he doesn’t I don’t see why his granddaughter wearing what’s very much in fashion with young people today is a problem.

You’re not being unreasonable at all. It’s a bit like some of the Love Island girls running to hug family members and grandparents while wearing thong bikinis. It’s grim. And it’s not an anti-feminist message ffs - I would be equally grossed out by a teenage boy in a swimsuit as revealing as the one your DD is in but, oh wait, young men are not encouraged to have their balls on show by the poolside are they?

There is zero nuance on Mumsnet OP. I agree with you that your DD has completely bypassed the bit where you learn that different clothes are appropriate for different occasions. Most decent grandads wouldn’t want to look at their granddaughter in a string bikini, for example.

Although your point is hardly relevant.

Size six but too large for the bikini? ED incoming

You need serious help. There are people on registers less fucked up than this.

Unless you're willing to post pics of the bikinis you bought for the holiday, vs the bikinis she is actually wearing, this thread is not going to go your way @FFSTeenagers

😂 sorry OP, I know you’re furious but you’ll laugh about this eventually. It’s just typical teenage rebellion. You’re not cool and swimsuits from next are definitely not cool. Leave her to it and thank god they weren’t the fashion when you were young.

I go to a sauna regularly. Everyone is an adult. What you describe is worn possibly by 15-20% of the women there, who in between saunas have cold showers and use plunge pools. The OP is not exaggerating about what can be seen or inferred.

The coverage or not of swimwear is no excuse at all for any unwanted approach from men of whatever age though.

She means too boobie. Big boobie ladies must hide the ladies.

Can you link to one on the shein site
I think busty dd has seeing bikinis and thevlook fine to me

Anyway, @FFSTeenagers your DD has obviously left the bikinis you bought together at home on purpose. As she cannot be trusted to make appropriate shopping choices of her own, I would be marching her to the nearest shop and buying her one appropriate swimsuit that she will have to hand wash for the duration of the 3 week holiday. If she refuses, I would be telling her that she is not welcome in the pool.

If she's a swimmer, surely they are not suited to her day to day routine (come off on slides and diving I mean).

Yeah leave the pool for grandad and his wandering eye in peace…

I spat my tea out at that!

@FFSTeenagers

Completely agree with poster upthread who said : wear the same inappropriate bikini, and see what she says. Even better - get some for the GP’s too, and all wear them.

@FFSTeenagers hotels usually have swim wear on display to buy. She can then go out to buy something else later.

I love swimming and have all sorts: bikinis, Brazilian bikinis etc etc and full body swim wear. I know which one to wear when and where and with whom.

I was proud my teenage nieces knew what to wear when I invited them for a swim- I was waiting and prepared for all sorts but kept my faith and I was rather proud.

You are not going to win this OP and should have completely ignored it

Ridiculous to say her vagina is on show - it's side boob and butt cheeks

It's the fashion and very few teenagers would be happy in Next or Roxy bikinis

I get it's a bit tricky for relatives but maybe 60 years ago their grandparents were probably shocked at their bellies being on show...

Tell her you will too if she does, and be prepared to actively do it.

or tell her if it was just you guys you’d let her wear it but in the presence of the old folk, it’s not appropriate for them and ask her nicely to respect their “old fashioned” feelings,

What are you on about? The grandparents clearly dont want to look at her… try again!

Then don’t look.

If she’s a size 6 she really could hardly be any smaller so the “curvy” chat is very weird. Do you mean she has boobs? If so you’re already instilling in her at 15 that she can’t wear the same cute clothes as her smaller chested friends.

My entire life I’ve been made to feel like there’s something scandalous about my body just because I have a larger bust.

As a grandparent I would not be bothered by any clothing (or lack of) my granddaughter chose to wear.
I can remember being a teen and wearing minimal clothes, it's like a rite of passage.