Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
Gemstonebeach · 22/07/2024 17:14

Wow I can’t believe they’ve made all that up, you are going to have to address it with her!

Scissorsisters · 22/07/2024 17:15

Lock your garden gate, unplug and drain the hot tub when you go away and don't give it another thought.
Your neighbour is a CF.

SwirledIntoPoems · 22/07/2024 17:15

Could Helen's husband/partner/whoever have told her that you had given permission and so Helen believed they were using your hot tub with your knowledge and agreement the whole time? And then she thought your WhatsApp messages were a passive aggressive way to revoke that permission? It's so weird for her to have made up a narrative and to be angry with you if she is fully aware that you never agreed to let them use it!

kiwiane · 22/07/2024 17:19

She knows she was caught out and wants to try and cover her tracks. I would confront her and give her a warning about trespassing on your property.

MumChp · 22/07/2024 17:20

Same story on FB this morning. They put (an invisible) dye in the water (harmless) and the neighbours were done.

Tbh just say no. Her party is not your problem. Make suse to cut the water to the spa then you go on holiday.

AdoraBell · 22/07/2024 17:21

As suggested, lock the gate with a padlock and remove power/water supply to the hot tub and tell the neighbours that Helen has never asked to use your garden/hot tub for any reason, and you’ve never offered.

Itiswhysofew · 22/07/2024 17:21

Well I never. What an absolute CF, of the highest degree.

Can you give a holler through your camera?Grin

I wouldn't let on you know, record what she's doing and then inform the police.

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

mummymeister · 22/07/2024 17:23

isolate the electricity to the tub. drain it and then put a very big notice on top saying dear Helen, no you do not have my permission to use this tub, now or ever. she will get in past gate locks etc I am sure but when she sees this she will know you are on to her but cant say anything or will have to admit she was in your garden. can you get one of those ring cameras up outside pointing at the tub?

theonlygirl · 22/07/2024 17:25

wow, I've read some crazy stuff on here but this is mental. I'm hoping that SwirledintoPoems suggestion is correct because otherwise these people are deranged. Who uses their neighbours garden and hot tub without permission? Given that she has decided to give other neighbours misinformation, I would tackle her head on and just say "wot the hell are you on about love, I've never given you permission to host a party at my house". They need telling, otherwise you'll come home one night and they'll be tucked up in your bed.

ginasevern · 22/07/2024 17:25

How old is your DC. If a teenager, are you sure they know nothing about this?

Pippa12 · 22/07/2024 17:26

That’s insane! Perhaps put a pin lock on your gate. Its a faff to empty hot tub etc… nobody should be cheeky enough to go in it when your not there!!!

I would have to address this with Helen- it’s too bizarre to not do!

AmandaHoldensLips · 22/07/2024 17:26

I would pop round, knock on her door and ask her - was she the person who was using your hot tub while you were on holiday and what did she think she was playing at?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/07/2024 17:27

I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me

I'm not; CFers don't like being caught out, and when they are can turn even more unpleasant

Like PPs I'd make the tub (temporarily) unusable and consider asking her to her face why she lied - though if you do the last option, be aware she may spread even sillier stories just out of spite

Princessbananahamock · 22/07/2024 17:29

Is she the Mexican house thief? Or perhaps related to them.

Littlebitpsycho · 22/07/2024 17:30

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

I would do this. Doesn't directly call her out, but a) makes it clear you know she's been lying b) makes it absolutely clear that she has no permission to use your garden or anything in it and c) makes sure ALL the neighbours know that nobody should be using your garden or anything in it.

One stone kills many birds! What a CF!

Foxblue · 22/07/2024 17:30

Shamelessly placemarking for this one.
This is INSANE. How did she think they wouldn't get caught?

Itisjustmyopinion · 22/07/2024 17:31

Why don’t you ask her what her game is?

Don’t have to be aggressive about it but just a firm word that you don’t appreciate two things:

  1. your property being used as a timeshare when you are not there
  2. your neighbours having the wrong impression of you and potentially causing issues

Her reaction will tell you everything. If it’s been a miscommunication then be firm that you will be locking the gate and move on. If she gets defensive then that’s when you put something on the chat like pp said above

Overageclause · 22/07/2024 17:31

What an absolute nutter she is.

BluebellsareBlue · 22/07/2024 17:32

Op PLEASE PLEASE do with a PP said and put the message in the WA chat!! Then report back immediately with any response!!

I would also add to it that on no occasion have you ever given anyone to use your garden and hot tub and you consider it trespassing .

FinalCeleryScheme · 22/07/2024 17:32

Paragraphs. I beg you. Paragraphs.

IDontLikePinaColadas · 22/07/2024 17:33

My DM had something similar and discovered her neighbours were letting their family actually stay in her house whilst she and my DSF were away - they would try to put everything back exactly as it was but small things were out of place and she knew when she found a random toothbrush in the bathroom!

Unsurprisingly they denied all knowledge, even though she had proof, but it never happened again - all awkwardness seems to have died down now, but it did take a while.

Groovee · 22/07/2024 17:33

Oh man that is very CF of the highest order.

User576326783789 · 22/07/2024 17:34

I would absolutely leave it unusable but with a big note on it that says “piss off away from my hot tub Helen”

Then she will know you know and even if nothing is said, she’ll squirm forever.

pinkyredrose · 22/07/2024 17:34

How did she know when you were returning?

I'd go over and ask her outright about it (while recording the convo on my phone).