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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF Neigbour Using Hot Tub

425 replies

grandmabrown · 22/07/2024 17:10

Summer 2022 we suspect someone was using our garden while we were out as things began to move and on occasions the hot tub appeared used. We didn't think too much of it to be honest, with teenage children (who denied using it) things do often move and we were busy so didnt give it too much thought. Looking back now though that is when things started happening. Earlier in 2024 we went away and, upon return, a friend commented that she had popped round on her way past, nobody answered the door, she heard noises in the back garden and had come in through the side gate. There greeted by a family, using our hot tub and garden, who told her we had gone to X location and would be back on X date (both details correct), they were watching the house for us. When we got back we were baffled, asked around, nobody knew anything. We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime. We asked on this group and nobody had seen anything but one of the group members helped my husband to install security cameras and a ring doorbell and nothing has happened since.

Fast forward to now, my street-neighbour, lets call her Helen (as this is her name), and I have always been on a smile and wave basis. I only know her families names from the Christmas cards we send/receive. Recently Helen has been acting off towards me and I appear to be annoying her by existing. She will sigh if she sees me and I have caught her on more than one occasion glaring across at me and pointing at my house while talking. I have become sick of this and asked another neighbour, who I am friendly with, what was going on. Neutral neighbour seemed very awkward and said she didn't want to stir the pot or tell tales. Eventually she said Helen was annoyed at me as I had promised her use of my garden and hot tub for her sons birthday/end of term party but had revoked it and "caused a scene" about intruders, which she know was aimed at her, on the neighbourhood Whatsapp. Apparently the party was due to be when we are on holiday and I had said if she kept an eye on the house they could have full run of the garden but changed my mind, leaving her son with nowhere to host and all his friends thinking the party is going ahead. Helen said we have had this arrangement before and she does not understand why I am changing it now. This is not true. At all. I have never had a conversation with her, let alone offered to host a party for her. I checked with DH & DC and nobody has spoken to them or said they can use our property to host.

I have a million questions for her but don't know where to start. Obviously I now believe they were the family using our garden and it explains how she knew locations and return dates of our holidays. I do not know how to approach this or what to ask. Surely they will deny it. But the outright lie she has told our neighbour is harder to deny. What do I do? There is no way they are using my garden but now I am also worried that, when we go away, our garden may be used. The cameras will alert us on our phones and we can ring the police but I would really rather not cause a neighbour dispute and end up down that route. I am absolutely baffled by the audacity that someone would do this and then be mad about it, without ever even having a conversation with me.

OP posts:
STFUDonkey · 22/07/2024 17:42

And get a "this gate is alarmed" sign.

BreatheAndFocus · 22/07/2024 17:43

Yes, put a message on the WhatsApp but put “anyone” in capital letters: “I have never given permission to ANYONE to use our hot tub while we’re away”. That will make it clear to the CF you’re on to her latest lie.

What a CF!

Halfheadhighlights · 22/07/2024 17:43

Wow! Hope Helen the CF is on here 😂

Refugenewbie · 22/07/2024 17:43

It sounds like somebody has said something to give her this impression.

AllstarFacilier · 22/07/2024 17:43

If you don’t talk to her, who is letting her know when you’re away?

I don’t know how hot tubs work - is there always power for them or can they be switched off?

Heavenssakes · 22/07/2024 17:43

Who knew where you were going, and when you were returning?

Because the trail (or story) starts here.

Skyrainlight · 22/07/2024 17:44

How does she know your holiday dates? I would only be letting a few select people know them. And if someone used my hot tub without permission I would call the police, it's trespassing. This woman sounds like a nutter and a complete manipulator. I would ensure my neighbours knew my side of the story.

AnonymousBleep · 22/07/2024 17:44

Well, I am immediately invested in this one! This is CFery on the scale of gooseberry bush woman and Mexican house thief. Is your garden contained enough to put a massive padlock on the gates and lock them out?

Bollindger · 22/07/2024 17:45

I would put a note on the group.
Just to clear up any confusion, in case anyone miss understood , we have never offered the use of our garden or hot tub , I can however supply you with details of who supplied ours...

IDontLikePinaColadas · 22/07/2024 17:45

Halfheadhighlights · 22/07/2024 17:43

Wow! Hope Helen the CF is on here 😂

I reckon she the one who voted that the OP is being unreasonable!

Collaborate · 22/07/2024 17:46

Put up a sign saying that if anyone uses your hot tub the fee charged will be £100 per person per day. Make the sign obvious. Then send them an invoice when you get home, as you'll have the proof from your CCTV cameras.

SummerTimeIsTheBest · 22/07/2024 17:47

Are they Mexican 🇲🇽

AnonymousBleep · 22/07/2024 17:47

ToxicChristmas · 22/07/2024 17:35

I'm usually not one for confrontation (as I can't be arsed with the drama) but on this occasion, I think I'd message her directly and say that you had heard that she had been saying you had been promised use of the hot tub and could she please clear up the confusion and confirm who promised this? It's going to take some brass balls to pretend that you have had a conversation.

This is what I'd do as well. Probably phrase it in a jolly, what-a-joke kind of thing and see what happened.

EatTheGnome · 22/07/2024 17:47

To be honest, I'd go round to Helen and say you've spoken to a neighbour who said XYZ. Obviously that isn't true and you expect her to correct the record by [X time] before you instruct a solicitor for both the damage which occurred during trespass and for sullying your name. You werent going to do anything with the video recording originally but she's gone too far.

If nothing else it would shake her up.

I'd also either secretly or make clear to her that you're recording the conversation so you have further evidence for your solicitor that the conversation took place and what her verbal response was. Hope the mad woman panics and confesses and then you have her bang to rights.

Even if you dint have cctv or ant intention of taking any of it further. The silly mare needs a shock and scaring off from more bitching.

Chatteringmagpie7 · 22/07/2024 17:48

bouncybouncingboobies · 22/07/2024 17:22

I’d update on street what app with a jolly message that says- Hi All, I heard a really funny rumour the other day- apparently I ‘rent out’ or ‘let’ people use my garden and hot pool. Just to clarify, this is not, never has been or ever will be the case. It’s our garden, not Thorpe Park! LOL

FCF- Fucking Cheeky Fucker!

I’d definitely do a version of this.

CFs like this thrive in the greys of the ‘he said, she said’ rumour mill. Remove any confusion by stating clearly that your garden and hot tub has been used in the past without any permission and it has never and never will be allowed.

Then ask neighbours to keep an eye out for any trespassers in your garden while you are away.

That makes it clear to everyone. Obviously she will twist it and say it was revoked. But I don’t think anyone will believe her.

iamtheblcksheep · 22/07/2024 17:48

I’m sorry OP. I know this is a difficult situation for you but I’ve been having a shit day. This is the funniest thing. You’ve really cheered me up.

Obviously she is bat shit crazy. I’d ignore her until the end of time and tell all the other neighbours that you never gave such permission.

I vote for an immediate move to classics

Elle7 · 22/07/2024 17:49

I’d stick a laminate on top of your hot tub for while you’re away stating - WARNING! Toxic chemicals added to water to aid cleaning of CF neighbour’s bum crumbs! DO NOT TOUCH!

Grammarnut · 22/07/2024 17:49

It doesn't explain how she knew when you left and when you were coming back, unless you put dates up on Facebook (unwise)?
You need to speak to her and ask why she is telling everyone this when it is untrue.

liveforsummer · 22/07/2024 17:49

Please update after your conversation OP

Jennyathemall · 22/07/2024 17:51

Scissorsisters · 22/07/2024 17:15

Lock your garden gate, unplug and drain the hot tub when you go away and don't give it another thought.
Your neighbour is a CF.

Yes. Secure the garden. Drain and remove the plug/cable/fuse on the hot tub. Install camera to film the hot tub.
Send bill to Helen for reasonable historical hot tub rent and electricity use.

DontBiteTheCat · 22/07/2024 17:52

You really need to address this head on or everyone will think you’re the nasty bitch who ruined her poor son’s party.

I would message Helen directly, her number will be visible if she’s in the group chat and just say what you’ve been told and can she clarify who told her she could use the garden because it definitely wasn’t you.

If you don’t want to contact her directly put a message in the group chat.

”Hi all, I am really concerned that there is some misinformation out there about the use of our garden while we’re on holiday. To be clear, I have never offered anyone use of our garden while we’re away. I would appreciate it if you could all remain vigilant when we’re not home and let me know immediately if you notice anything suspicious or see anyone trespassing”.

DontBiteTheCat · 22/07/2024 17:53

Skyrainlight · 22/07/2024 17:44

How does she know your holiday dates? I would only be letting a few select people know them. And if someone used my hot tub without permission I would call the police, it's trespassing. This woman sounds like a nutter and a complete manipulator. I would ensure my neighbours knew my side of the story.

Trespassing isn’t a criminal matter, it’s a civil matter and the police will do nothing. I’m surprised at how many people aren’t aware of this

Another2Cats · 22/07/2024 17:54

Princessbananahamock · 22/07/2024 17:29

Is she the Mexican house thief? Or perhaps related to them.

My mind immediately went to that story as well.

converseandjeans · 22/07/2024 17:55

That's the most cheeky thing I've heard on here. I'm astounded that she has organised an end of term/birthday gathering for a load of kids.

It's not nice to think a load of random people have been in & out the hot tub.

I don't think she has any right to be stroppy about it. I think you should call her out on it.

TheFifthTellytubby · 22/07/2024 17:55

How did CF know the OP's holiday dates?

"We are part of a neighbourhood watch whatsapp group. We all keep an eye on each others cars and houses when away and update one another if we see anyone acting strange hanging round or any crime."