To not get DC a snack

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Never thought I'd even consider restricting access to food/drink/toilet, it sounds barbaric, but bedtime has got so far out of hand, we can't even see the hand anymore.

7.30 - finish tea & had plenty to drink.
7.45 - does anyone want anything else before bed?
7.55 teeth, drink of water, pj's & wee
8.00 into bed & listen to audio book
8.30 book off & lie down for sleep

Then
I need the toilet
I'm so thirsty, I need a drink
I've finished my drink, I need to go get more
I need the toilet again
I'm too hot, I need a thiner blanket
I want to take of my pj's off
I need the toilet again
I'm hungry

Last night at 9.45, after 6 toilet trips, countless drinks, 2 drink refills, 3 different blankets & 2 "falls" out of bed, I lost it and said no one was getting out of bed for any reason before morning. 5 minutes later they're both crying hysterically because their starving!!! And why won't I let them eat!!

I did relent and give them a slice of bread each (the most boring snack I could think off), but struggling to find the line between what is me being awful and what is them taking the piss. I'm pretty sure 90% is them taking the piss, but how do you account for the 10% when they might actually need something?

How old are the kids?

How old are they?

Is there a reason tea is so late? It does allow for much chill time between eating and sleeping. I would struggle to get to sleep so soon after a meal!

My 7 and 4 year get offered a snack if they’re hungry just before going up to bed and then after that I say no as I’ve fallen into the trap of it several times and they’re not really hungry, it’s just a delaying tactic

Me too. My kids won’t manage it either.

I’m guess they’re very young, 3 or younger if you need to take them to the toilet and they can’t just take their own PJs off.

Kid's are 4 (5 in a few weeks) and 7. Tea was moved later to try and stop them asking for supper/night time snack after we'd gone to bed.

Oh FGS that’s not restricting food, it’s stopping them pissing about!

Tea was given closer to 7.00, it just took half an hour to eat.

They are mucking you around. And you are falling for it. Sorry OP. Be strong.

Kids man 🤦‍♀️ My sympathies op.

The thing that stood out is there seems to be a lot of drinking in that short space of time, which probably accounts for some of the toilet trips? And maybe gurgling sensations which they mistake for hunger. Can tea be earlier? Agree with pp it doesn't allow for much wind down time. Earlier tea, and then a small something shortly before bed maybe? (We do fruit. Sometimes ice cream or cake).

All that said, I know some children will just find anything to say or do to avoid going to sleep! How old are they? Do they share a room?

Go back to early tea and quick supper.

Sounds like you need to be a bit stricter and stop pandering tk their requests.
Give them 2 cards each, which they can use to ask you something in the evening. Once they're gone, they're gone and any more interruptions lead to loss of privelidges the next day.

They don't need taking, it's just the excuse given for why they need to get out of bed for the millionth time

Could you switch the audio book for reading. I found my daughter really struggled to get to sleep after listening. I would move dinner forward and just have something protein rich if they claim to be starving such as peanut butter toast.

Peanut butter on toast / banana / yogurt our our go to late snacks - they help sleep, but I wouldn’t be offering them that late.

You need a stricter sleep hygiene routine, so no screens an hour before going up to start bedtime.
Children shouldn’t really be drinking water after teeth brushing either, according to our dentist.

Are your children getting enough fluids during the day? And is there any way you could bring forward the tea time. So snack is the only option an hour before bed, with a glass of milk / water? So hard to get to sleep in this weather too, so that might be your problem if they’ve been fine before, maybe just put a sheet on bed with a fan in room if you have one?

Good luck 💐

Surely no more snacks after teeth have been brushed. What time do they have lunch? Could be worth making dinner earlier and allowing time for supper, something plain but filling like porridge and fruit. This absolutely sounds like avoiding bed/getting your attention rather than hunger.

Do they not have a bedtime story? DS has a yoto player he has a story on but we always read together first. Maybe some focused parent time might stop them trying to get your attention after bedtime. They should also at that age be able to go to the toilet or take off their pyjamas without informing you. Make sure they have a bottle of water to take to bed.

This drives me crackers with Dd she is exactly the same!

Can you let them keep the audiobook on? Dd sleeps far better with noise than without and it does stop the constant asking for things.

One wee is allowed (why do their bladders fill the second they get into bed?) and that’s it here. I do think you have to be strict and put up with the crying for a bit so they realise you’re not going to keep giving into their demands. It will get easier after about 3/4 days.

My children had 5 small meals a day at that age, so you have my sympathies.

Breakfast
Lunch
After school snack, plus extra toast when home
Dinner
Tea - more toast / porridge

They are messing you about. It is exhausting.

stop all pandering to it. At nearly 5 and 7 sit them down this afternoon and explain that then messing about leads to you having no adult time and makes yoou cross they won’t go to sleep as you are then tired.

explain clearly that tonight there will be no more snacks. That they know where the toilet is, the skin to get another drink etc and that you won’t be running up and down stairs all night to them. Explain they are big boys/girls and need to go to bed once tucked in.

and then follow through. Though luck if they cry. You have given a structured and kind bedtime routine and bed to set firm boundaries. Ignore the messing about and refuse to be engaged in it. If they come downstairs crying give short shrift and send them back up.

this has got beyond a joke and a 5 year old up at 9.45 is too late and their excuses are just that, excuses

just have dinner at the old time and implement a bedtime snack as part of the night time routine. Banana and toast or similar. Then you can happily refuse all further snack requests, I wouldn’t be giving more than 1 drink after bedtime either!

When youre tired you crave sugar to wake you up. Ignore the food requests. Read books instead of audiobook. For me anyway reading a book sends me to sleep.

dinner is very late and they don’t have any wind down time after dinner, they have a 5 minute bedtime and are then left with an audiobook. Bring dinner forwards to more like 6, have a bit of down time perhaps with the audiobook after, plus a bit of supper just before 7 if hungry then or some warm milk, proper bedtime routine at 7 including you reading a book to them (also important especially for the 5 year olds development), then good night at 7.30.

I'd do tea around 5/6 the a supper a 730 with a drink.

I wouldn't allow food/drink after bedtime. (Except possibly water if hot)

Toilet they take themselves quietly and go back to bed

No other reasons for being out of bed I'd tolerate once or twice then I'd be stern and tell them no more.

They are getting up because they can

We read physical books downstairs, before pj's and getting into bed. That was swapped to audiobooks upstairs, as being in the dark seemed to help switch off better & they always seemed to end up messing around during reading.

They're definitely not being left alone after 5 minutes and craving attention, I'm up there for 2 hours + every night.

My child is younger but for him (and it was the same for me growing up), we need a good runaround/burn off after tea.

Could you try having tea earlier as suggested?

Also, if you're 90% sure theyre not hungry, just tell them no. And if they are ever so slightly hungry, that's ok surely? My 3 year old told me he was hungry last night before teeth cleaning but given he had his tea and pudding, I was sure it was a delay tactic, not hunger. I said no and he went up to bed, straight asleep and slept all night so I don't think he was!

2 hours, you need to get hard on them. Your parenting is permitting this.
It'll be a brutal few days but decide on your line in the sand, talk to them about it, and bloody stick to it.

They're playing you like a fiddle.