Selfie in hospital with dying relative

[TheAverageJoanne]

My uncle died in hospital this morning after a stroke on Friday. My cousin (his nephew) posted a selfie on Facebook of himself by my uncle's bedside with a caption saying he was spending precious moments with him. I don't know if he was dead or alive or when the picture was actually taken but I'm furious. My uncle was visible laid out in the bed. I feel very upset about it and I think it's really distasteful. Do you, or is it me being oversensitive?

For the sake of family harmony, let it go. It's not worth falling out over even if there are issues with consent ie would your uncle have wanted that out there?

But it's horribly "look at me". I will never understand why people do it.

Nothing is private anymore. It’s the way of the world 😏

If its his father and his father was indeed alive then sorry but its not your right to tell him how he should behave.

SORRY I even read his nephew!!!! Ignore me! 🤐🙊

Horribly tasteless. I completely agree with you @TheAverageJoanne.

It was his nephew.

OP I think that’s awful. No way for your uncle to consent to that.

@Spirallingdownwards
It’s his uncle- it’s right there in the op.

My cousin was taking Snapchats at my nana’s funeral. Whilst technically, she wasn’t doing anything wrong, her behaviour was really crass imo and proved everything I’d suspected about her tbh

So yanbu

I have to look at pictures of him when he was alive as I can't get the image out of my mind.

I think it's way out of line and can completely understand why you're upset. Literally 15 minutes after we made the first phone call about my DB's death there was a huge post on facebook about him from a complete rando; with my DM a friend of hers had posted before I even knew (thankfully I didn't see it).

People are disgusting with social media and bereavement, I'm so sorry for your loss and your uncle's loss of privacy.

If someone wants a photo with their relative during there last few hours that ok but it is so disrespectful to post said photo for all to see especially if relative hasn’t consented to it.

How old is the nephew? I’d definitely be having words, I’m surprised people on here wouldn’t!

I agree, OP. It's both tasteless and completely unnecessary. Some people just have no idea how to conduct themselves.

@Babadook76 43 so old enough to know it's not ok.

Competitive grieving. It seems to be quite a trend.

Let it go. Nothing to be gained by making a fuss.

I have a photo of my DGC around my unconscious dying OH's bedside. They really wanted a picture with him so it was taken. There is something really upsetting about it, but also it records how much they loved him.

Very disrespectful, is nothing private any more

Tacky, tasteless and horrible. ☹️

Only acceptable if the dying person is conscious and able to give consent to the phot being taken.

Did he post it publicly?

I actually have firsthand experience of this.

Dh's step sister took a photo of dh's dad on his death bed. (He wasn't her dad and her mother is dh's step mother)

He slipped away in the early hours and when we got there (they live nearby and she said she'd ring dh but didn't) she kept saying "oh I've had so many comments on that photo" it took us an age to realise what she'd done.

She'd posted a photo of her draped over my FIL after he had died and a football song over the top of it.

Dh took her aside and asked her to remove it. He said to her it was a lovely idea and would have been nice if a pic of him when he was healthy had been used. But that he felt it would upset the rest of the family, aunts and uncles and cousins. To be fair to her she did remove it.

A few weeks afterwards dh's step mum had a go at dh for asking jet to take it down as "it wasn't his place" 🫠🫠

Consent to what?
Do you really send message to all your friends befoe posting a group photo?
Bloke is dead, I could not care less who posts my pics once I die. Not lile I'd need to be vigilant of my online persona at that moment

I think a very kind and sympathetic Yabu just because cultures have changed and yes to you and many of us it’s not nice but for your nephew it probably means a huge amount. You’re all grieving, please focus on supporting each other despite disagreements <3

I dislike seeing any hospital photo, especially when the person is covered in tubes and bandages and is obviously unwell.

That's absolutely shocking.

No-one has the right to publish other people's photos on the internet, let alone when they're in such a vulnerable position.

It's not something I could go for. I know someone who posted a selfie of himself holding his grandchild up in front of his dying cancer stricken dad in a hospital bed when the old man was barely alive. It weirded me out then and still haunts me when I think about the old man barely able to turn to the camera with a drug induced daze on his face. Such a strange thing it was to do. Impending death is such a private thing. I wouldn't want my young relatives doing this to me. Mind you last week I was at the scene of a collision where an injured man was laid out in the road being wired up by paramedics when one of his relatives appeared and started filming him barely conscious on the tarmac.