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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

443 replies

Eastereggmadness · 20/07/2024 23:23

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

OP posts:
CornishTeaTime · 20/07/2024 23:24

Never

ThePoshUns · 20/07/2024 23:25

My kids asked me the same question once. It was a firm no from me.
I really couldn't be bothered. I'd rather live on my own.

AzureBlue99 · 20/07/2024 23:25

No. Not interested in men anymore.

RisingSunn · 20/07/2024 23:25

Firm no.

Sunhatweather · 20/07/2024 23:26

No, but I might take in a lodger or companion who is in a similar position. I’d miss the company and caring/being cared for. Not bothered about an actual relationship.

ShaunaSadeki · 20/07/2024 23:26

Absolutely not, I love DH very much, but I would be perfectly happy and content living with DC and then alone

jesnih · 20/07/2024 23:28

No, I've thought about this a few times. When I met DH I wasn't interested in being in a couple or getting married or even having dc, I've never wanted any of those things in an abstract sense. I'm happier on my own. But I fell for DH so I made an exception. If he was no longer in my life, I would just continue as it was before I met him (but with dc).

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 20/07/2024 23:28

No. It’s crap for the kids and my standards are far too high anyway 😄

farmergirl15 · 20/07/2024 23:28

I said I wouldn't, however when I was in my late twenties my husband died. I met my new husband 5 years later and we are coming up to our 9th wedding anniversary. We have a daughter together.
It's very easy to say something until you've gone through it then you can't make the decision.

chattyness · 20/07/2024 23:29

No

Bigstuffypillow · 20/07/2024 23:29

Nope definitely not
A friend who is a few years younger than me (53) is divorced and is forever meeting men Online, then dumping them as they aren't perfect.
I honestly couldn't be bothered with all that dating malarkey anymore.

materialgworl · 20/07/2024 23:30

I'd definitely date and have relationships but I'd never marry again nor move in with a man

caringcarer · 20/07/2024 23:30

No. If my DH died or we divorced I'd not remarry. I'm too old to start a relationship with a new person. I'm too set in my ways.

cadburyegg · 20/07/2024 23:30

farmergirl15 · 20/07/2024 23:28

I said I wouldn't, however when I was in my late twenties my husband died. I met my new husband 5 years later and we are coming up to our 9th wedding anniversary. We have a daughter together.
It's very easy to say something until you've gone through it then you can't make the decision.

This. As a divorced mum it's very tiring having happily married people tell me "ooooh I don't think I'd bother dating again if I were you"

LadyFeatheringt0n · 20/07/2024 23:30

Nope! Couldn't be arsed. Have a big supportive family and am quite content in my own company.

Babyboomtastic · 20/07/2024 23:30

I don't know.
It would take me a very very long time to get over him and even be able to contemplate it.

I'd like to think that I'd eventually be open to love again, but after an amazing relationship with my husband, he'd have done very difficult boots to fill. I feel like I found the 1 in a million the first time round, what are the chances of finding that again? And having experienced it, I wouldn't settle for less.

PortiasBiscuit · 20/07/2024 23:31

Nope, adore my grumpy old man, no interest at all in taking on another one though.

Ridiculousme · 20/07/2024 23:32

Gawd no, 24 years in, not got the energy to train another one.

ChaToilLeam · 20/07/2024 23:32

I don’t think I could be bothered, but who knows?

A good friend of mine sadly lost her husband after a long illness and she couldn’t initially imagine ever meeting anyone else - she has however met and is married to a very nice chap.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 20/07/2024 23:32

I did marry again after my divorce, we had a very happy but very short marriage as he was diagnosed with cancer. Now I am a widow I don't think I will ever marry again.

Nevermetaghostididntlike · 20/07/2024 23:32

Eastereggmadness · 20/07/2024 23:23

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

I always thought I’d never remarry because of my children. I did. I took it very slow and the man who is now my husband did not have children either. I was more concerned about having to contend with step children so was clear in my head not to start anything with a person who had children already. My two children were late teens when I remarried and it worked out well.

NotYourHolidayDick · 20/07/2024 23:32

Absolutely. Why wouldn't you?!
I bloody love having someone around, I love sex and I love sharing household chores!
First thing I'd do if DH died was get out there, and he knows it 🤣

DaftyLass · 20/07/2024 23:32

I'm not sure, I used to be certain that I would remain single ever after, if DH was gone, but the older I get the less sure I am about things.
Who knows, maybe older me wants a new companion? I just know I couldn't imagine it now, but I can't predict what I'd be like in that situation

WhereAreWeNow · 20/07/2024 23:32

No. Can't imagine it. I can imagine living quite happily on my own!

Shudacudawuda · 20/07/2024 23:33

I used to think I would, but the older I get the more I think I wouldn't (I'm 46).
I don't think I'd ever find someone who'd measure up, and the thought of having to date a load of blokes to find someone half decent......I couldn't be arsed. There are so many unworthy men out there. I struck gold with my DH, I don't think I could be so lucky again.