If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

[Eastereggmadness]

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

No, I've just separated from DH and I wouldn't remarry until my children were young adults and even then they'd have to be on board.

Dating? Never say never but it's certainly not something I'll be seeking out. I'm not really fussed about a relationship but I'll miss companionship.

As another poster said. It's easy to say no now but till you are in that position you just don't know

When dh died at 37 after being together for 19yrs I did want to meet someone eventually as to be on own for the next 40yrs is a long time if live to 80 + and I didn't have dc

I did meet someone when I wasn't looking and felt natural and right and 9yrs later due to ivf costs and covid lockdown cancellations we got Married and mini blondes Is now 7

I do think have to be careful if have kids or assets and understand if people didn't get married again to protect their assets

But nothing wrong to date. Everyone draw ee to love and be loved

Love laugh smile again

I've said many times that I love both dh the same. I don't love no 1 Ant less or no 2 any more. Just love them both

I feel lucky that I met and fell in love not one but two men in my lifetime - many don't even meet one love

Never, I've been with my husband since I was 19 now 48, could never imagine being with anyone else. I would get a cat and be perfectly happy on my own with my children and grandchildren visiting often

I said the same as lots of PPs until I found myself unexpectedly divorced in my mid 40s after a long marriage.

I took my time and focused on dc for several years but eventually realised I didn't want to be on my own when dc left for university so I dipped my toe into online dating.

I'm now living happily with my fiancé who I hope to grow old with, he's wonderful and gets on really well with my now young adult dc.

You really can't say until you find yourself in that situation.

If my husband died, absolutely nope. If I got divorced, unlikely.

It's hard to ever think of that kind of future in any capacity, but in any event I don't want to live my life with any other man. I chose my husband then, I choose him now.

I'm financially independent and there would be no reason for me to tie myself to another man, learn his faults and then compromise myself or my children.

I don't mean I wouldn't date, I just don't have any interest in marrying anyone else.

For me, I married for love and to have children. We have children, I don't want anymore and so for me there would be no reason to marry again.

I wouldn't
I'd focus all my energy on my kids.

My OH died 20 months ago at the age of 59. I'm now 56 and not interested in another man and never will be as no one can replace him.

A definite no from me. I wouldn't rule out having casual relationships but wouldn't remarry, just don't see the point.

I wouldn’t be seeking out another relationship while the kids lived at home.

My mother moved a man in when I was at an impressionable age who was a complete nightmare and I wouldn’t inflict that on my own children.

Once they left, I suppose if it came along.

Unlikely to remarry. I would want to protect dd’s inheritance. Maybe I’d live with someone. Idk. She’s 16 now so she’d be an adult by the time anything happened as dh isn’t planning on going anywhere atm.

No. I wouldn't do it to my kids and I wouldn't trust anyone else around my kids. I'd be perfectly happy living alone with my kids. Couldn't be bothered to go through all that meeting and getting to know someone again!

I wouldn’t while I have young kids I don’t think. I know a few step parents who really dislike the step children (annother story!) and that’s clouded my view.

I also don’t think I would find another that treated me so well, especially from reading stories about men on here!

Having come from divorced parents I would be put off as with one parent I was made to feel like an intruder. My mother's elationship wasn't too bad though you never feel entirely at home. Iso this would pit me off at the outset as I would NEVER want this for my own adult DC.

Secondly I would want all the assets accrued going to my own adult DC..

Thirdly I sadly no longer like sex due to t
menopausal changes

Just can't see that it would happen for me and doubt I would want this anyway.

Easier to train a dog!

No, never again. I'd always compare them to my current DH as an husband and how they are in a parental role. That wouldn't be fair on anyone.

I feel the same, my parents divorced and I've never felt like I'm really welcome at my dad's since as he got remarried.

My mum stayed single and I do feel at home with her.

Having said that holidays, birthdays, grandkids visiting etc are never a truly family event as my family is in 2 halves now (mum's side, dad's side)

The consequences of divorce can be far reaching for the kids, even into adulthood.

I think now they've seen how it affects everything and how we inevitably spend more time with DH's family (not divorced) that they both now regret getting divorced.

No chance. I remarried, to lovely DH after a young, disastrous first marriage and that's it for me now. I'm not good at sharing my space with anyone and whilst I love living with him, I can't imagine having to live with a different person. I don't think I'm very easy to live with either so I wouldn't wish myself on anyone else.... 😂

Interesting. My partner died over 10 years ago and I haven’t met anyone else so I suppose some people do mean it. I did have very young children though, so I just wanted to focus on looking after them and giving them stability Sorry for your loss, it’s very tough being a young widow, everyone should do what is right for them.

No never.
My own mother was windowed young when my father died. She made it clear she wouldn't and didn't. I am grateful for this.
She had a grandmother who had been a WW1 widow and who had seen first hand the damage bringing new men into families did and had passed down the wisdom that you are better off not to re marry. She was a teacher so really aware of children.

This was nicely proved correct by my paternal grandmother having a second husband that caused an absolute nightmare financially when she died first.

Men are also rather annoying in older age. I love my husband but I have no desire to find any type of replacement should he leave me or drop dead.

I think ten years after separation and with 40 years of loneliness ahead people might think differently.

If my husband died when we were still young then I may have considered it.

However, my husband is now terminally ill and won't be around much longer. I'm 60 now and definitely will not be seeking another relationship. I'm done with someone else's wants and needs always coming first (has not been a great marriage). I also wouldn't want to be someone else's carer ever again as I'm not cut out for it.

Nah. I think if I got my dh's pension or a life insurance payout I'd want to move to paris, wear sunglasses a lot as I swish in and out of bakeries and drink coffee by the sienne. I wouldn't want to be sharing any of my life at all!
If I was very old I might consider co-livong with someone purely so they could ring someone when I'd had a fall.

Never. And have says this to Dh.

Far too much of my life has gone into training this one for the last 20 years. I couldn’t imagine starting again.

Yes, but only for financial reasons.