If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

[Eastereggmadness]

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

No. never. I had a horrible first husband, have an amazing second husband, he drives me nuts sometimes, but he has worked hard for our family . Early retirement has been a test of our strength together. And ya sometimes I think we both want to LTB lol..but not really. I had the worst. I had the best. That is a 50/50 chance and being in my late 50's now, not willing to chance it again. I will ride this wave to the end, and if he ends first, I will forever be grateful for his love and I will never even date again. Happy in my own company and that of friends anyway.

No.

No. If my DH died I wouldn't want to make his assets accessible to someone else. And if we divorced I doubt I'd be in a rush to go off and do it all again.

I’d look for a companion who’s good at gardening, housework, DIY and paying bills and who would enjoy a platonic friendship.

What the hell! It’s just a bit of wishful thinking 🤔

No. Definitely not.

He's my best friend as well as my husband and frankly I could not be bothered to build up the 20ys plus understanding we have of each other with someone else.

Just the day to day of living with someone "other" who didn't understand my quirks is an awful prospect.

Same if we divorced.

I might date someone potentially (though they would have a very high bar to reach) but I'd never marry again or share a house/finances.

All that said I'm someone who is very comfortable in my own company.

If anyone was watching The Railway Station Man on BBC 4 the other night (dramatisation of the Jennifer Johnston novel), that’s what I want — being Julie Christie painting and seaswimming and wearing rugged but wonderful clothes on a cliff in Donegal, with occasional visits from Donal Sutherland. We’ll skip the paramilitary involvement and petulant son bit.

😂

I'm not married but I cannot imagine subjecting my kids to another man in their life nor getting undressed in front of someone else ever again.

I was divorced at aged 32 with two young kids....stayed single for 13 years.....was ok about it....now 2yrs into a new relationship.....kids young adults so that's fine.....would marry again potentially.

I might do, mainly because I got together with DH after splitting up with DS1's dad, so I have a positive experience of bringing in a stepfather. DS1 was very young though and his father was awful

I def wouldn't be hunting around ASAP but I wouldn't say no if the right person came along.

Such a tricky question! I don't think I would be looking for a relationship and v probably would actually be avoiding one - but it absolutely depends on the other person you meet, doesn't it? How can anyone truly know what they would feel until they are in this situation?

I do have a little fantasy which is that if I ever became single again I'd go for a relationship with another woman. Tragically, I'm not sure I'm actually gay enough. But if I could be gay enough, that would be ideal. Especially for my future hypothetical girlfriend/wife (who in my imagining is 100% lesbian but always wanted kids and she's a natural with them ofc) because she'd get my kids as a perk 😂

I kind of think my DH would like this scenario best to be honest. And the kids. Noone replacing him, just basically getting a bonus mum in the house. Probably haven't thought this through fully...

No, I wouldn't live with another man ever again.

I wouldn't, partly to safeguard my child's home and inheritance, partly because I think the likelihood of finding someone I gel with would only decrease as I get older. I've been lucky to find DH - I've been interested in very few men during my life and I seem to meet less people as I get older. I wouldn't definitively rule out dating but I wouldn't want to mix finances and households. I would feel differently if I didn't have children though.

Absolutely not. I already value time alone, and the Relationships board on MN has irrevocably put me off the idea of hetting involved with any other man if I found myself single.

This. I can't conceive of bothering with one again.

Absolutely not, wouldn't want to share my life with any other man.
I would get a lover though, although I wouldn't actively look for one.
I definitely wouldn't do any online dating and I wouldn't want to live with a man.
I would be extremely weary about any danger to my children's inheritance, nobody would be allowed to touch it. It's for the children only.

Actually, I think maybe I'd try and find myself a female companion

I was having this conversation with my mum this week as they have been to 4 second weddings this summer. My parents know lots of people in their 60's and 70's who have been widowed and all bar one have remarried - the one who hasn't says his wife was the love of his wife and he could never be with anyone else. The ones who remarried this year all were married for between 40 and 50 yrs. I think nowadays it is OK for women to be on thir own bit I think for older people being single has more of a stigma to it than marrying again.

Nope

I wouldn't. I'm in 40s and I've been in love with husband for most of my life. Finally got together just over a decade ago and we have a family. I wouldn't ever want the boys to have another father and I wouldn't gain anything from marrying someone who isn't ever going to compare to what we have. I would rather be independent and have a fling or two if I wanted but the thought of going through a wedding again and all that is completely out of the question. But I have lived a life - I've had enough men for a lifetime. I think I would enjoy the quiet and the memories of when we were so so lucky.

No one can say for certain.
My grandad was with my gran until their 60s. She died, and a few years later, he met someone else. It was brief, but omg, the shit he had from his kids about "betraying" the memory of my gran. People are allowed to move on.

My ex's brother's wife died (in her 40s) and he met someone else. Now happily married.

You read about couples pairing up in care homes.

I don't believe so. I don't believe in saying never but I think it's highly unlikely. My DH is enough relationship for a lifetime for me (in a good way!).

My husband died in 2012 aged 50 and me 48. Thought I'd never re marry then my children left home and I didn't like being alone....ventured into OLD nightmare but did meet someone after a few months in August 2018...love at first sight and we married in 2022.

Widowed in my 50s here. All the decent men I know married about age 30 and are still with their wives. The single men I know have significant baggage and I wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. Yes, some companionship would be nice, but I’m not willing to compromise.

In the unlikely event I did meet a nice bloke, I would never marry, as I’d prefer my kids to inherit the pensions/investments their dad and I accrued.

Absolutely not, I’d probably have a relationship but I’d never marry or cohabit with anyone ever again.

My mum was widowed at 29 and remarried a few years later, she’s just been widowed a second time in her 60s and she’s said she’s never having another relationship.