If your Dh died or you got divorced do you think you'd remarry

[Eastereggmadness]

My DD 10 asked me this out of the blue? And asked me to promise I never would! (She'd watched some programme with new stepmum in it).
And it got me thinking. I don't think I ever would at least till they were grown up) as I don't think my kids would like it. But maybe that is a bit martyrish of me. I wonder what others think.

Nah. I think I'd just like an old fashioned companion for theatre, days out and travel.

I couldn’t be arsed with all the hassle.

Absolutely not , been with my husband for 39 yrs and I’d never find another one as good as him .

Definitely not.

I don't think so. I'm in my late 50s and have been with DH since we were in our mid 20s. I don't think I could be bothered starting all over again. I suppose if someone amazing somehow came into my life then maybe, but I can't really imagine how that would happen and I certainly wouldn't go out searching for someone. I think I would probably sell up and move to a little cottage fairly close to but not right on top of my adult DD if DH died.

The probability of finding anyone suitable who’d be into me seems vanishingly small so I think it’s a no.

Hell no. Not only for the fact I love the bones of him but also because they're (the male species) are to hard to feckin train. Couldn't imagine having to start afresh 🤣

No I don't think anyone else would be able to live up to them but isn't it funny how women don't or take a lot longer to move on but men move on very quickly from my experience anyway... such different creatures.

I always said I wouldn’t. Said nobody could ever measure up to DH so if he wasn’t here I would rather be alone etc etc. Then my DH actually died and I was a widow at 36. The reality turned out to be very different to the hypothetical and I am angry at past me for being so smug and sure about things. My DP has hugely enhanced my life – and DD’s – and I am so grateful to have had two such kind, generous, lovely, gentle, patient men as my great loves.

I’d be happy to have a nice friend to go to the movies with etc but would never merge two families. It’s unfair on the children.

@peachgreen I am glad you found someone else, I would have at your age. I do think it is different when you are older. Most older widows do not remarry. They may have a boyfriend or companion though.

What every woman who vows never to get 'entangled' again needs is a nice gay (male) best friend.

All the benefits of socializing with a man, none of the hassle.

I was out with a group of women recently and this question came up and all but one said absolutely not! We are in our 50s and all been married 20-30 years. I love my husband he’s one in a million and I just don’t think I’d find someone like him again. Plus all the hassle of another set of in-laws, step children, new partner having opinions about my kids, merging finances ugh no.

The one woman who said yes I think isn’t particularly happy in her marriage and is the type that wants to be looked after.

I think being widowed in your 20s or 30s is difficult but wildly different when it happens much older.
I just wouldn't have the headspace for living with someone.

Id definitely have relationships but I'd never live with someone age.
And I know this.

No, not ever ever ever. I've been married twice & to all extents at the age I am now it has had its benefits. My kids have grown up with 2 parents & we've been fortunate enough to have a joint income to do the things we have wanted. But now we are semi-retired/retired & I face years more of our current situation I would not recommend it.
Its a companionable relationship - so OK-ish, but no sex, very little emotion or "feelings' communications & while I get that he is bored, thats not my problem to solve. DH sees very few people, has become so withdrawn & more introverted than he has been before, maybe even depressed - but nothing I expected our older years to be like.
Wouldnt it be an ideal situation to live next door or down the way a bit in my own place, with my little dog - all my crafty bits & books around me. And if I want just an omelet for dinner I could. Dreams :)

No, I wouldn’t want the bother of getting used to someone else’s annoying habits or really trust anyone else with my son.

Not a chance.

I love my husband and I am glad I married him and that we had DC.

But I’d kill to live on my own again. (Just not willing to kill DH or DC, obviously). Menopause may be a factor.

This. I might also ‘take a lover’. But I never want to live with anyone ever again.

No - cats and good friends would the way forward for me

i feel like that! I’m a single mum and dating just isn’t a priority

No thanks

No. I don’t want there to be any questions about inheritance. The money DH and I have worked so hard to save together goes to our shared child if any is left after we die. Remarrying muddies that situation, even if trying to protect inheritance.

I would not impose another adult on dc in our household. She isn’t a baby and I don’t actually have that many years left with her to myself.

If I wanted a close romantic relationship after dc has moved out, I could see going for homes next door to a boyfriend. Each with our separate space and separate finances.

I'm divorced with 3 young children - I'm early 40s - I can't imagine remarrying again or moving in with someone. Maybe when the kids are all adults but who knows. I can't be bothered with dating or any of that

I wouldn't. I cba with the expectations, compromise & extra housework. I dream of doing things like cooking a light meal, or not having to do as much laundry.

I wouldn't for financial reasons, either. Here (not UK) living with someone can give them a claim on assets similar to marriage. I'd never let anyone into a position to claim inheritance away from my DC, or leave & take half my assets, which includes my 'pension'. We're mortgage free & have insurance in place if something happens to one of us, so I'd never, ever give up that security. No man is worth that. I might keep a companion but never a live in again.

Personally no.

Because i have a much shorter life expectancy so it wouldnt feel right getting into a relationship with someone else knowing this

I got with partner before i got sick