Over heard DH on the phone

[Misschananderlerbongg]

I really am genuinely wondering if I’m being unreasonable.

Just overheard DH on the phone and it was clear at the other end his friend was talking about the fact his wife had just had a boob job. They’re not close friends.

DH then said ‘I can only dream, that would be amazing’.

Then ‘every Man I know that paid for it had said it was a great investment, money well spent, no one has regretted it’. He’s brought this up with me before.

Then ‘oh I know it’s a no go here, she wouldn’t go for it’ in a very sad voice.

‘It needs to be initiated by the woman, I can’t bring it up’. Then what a lucky guy you are type chat.

This has made me very upset for a few reasons:

1. I have small boobs, but have breast fed 2 kids and think they’re in pretty good shape
2. it’s major surgery and he’s seen me go through major medically required surgery
3. HE has put on weight, I have not and I never comment on it and wouldn’t dream or commenting on it
4. He never compliments me or makes me feel sexy, and now I know he doesn’t like my boobs.

But I’m tired and emotional and keen to understand if I’m in the wrong? It just feels like a betrayal to talk about my body like this 😔

I would 100% tell him I heard him. Then sit back and see what he says (he’d better grovel!) I’d be really upset too op.

But they almost always hear the truth.

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the responses and it’s really making me see things clearly.

I think if he was complimentary about me and my body, this would affect me less. If I felt desired and if he hadn’t mentioned the boob thing before (but he has complimented boob jobs several times in the past).

I did bring it up with him, he was mortified. Said it wasn’t meant like that at all. He seems genuinely ashamed and says he’ll make it up to me, I’ve got an incredible body etc. but I can’t unhear what he said.

We’ve also been doing couples therapy and he’s been making zero bloody effort, so that came out too. I also rarely feel supported by him with my career… it all just came out. I read him the riot act, he says he’ll get better but I don’t know. I feel like I deserve better 😔

Bet he wouldn't have been happy if you were talking to a friend about getting him a penile upgrade to well you know..to keep you happy.

Oh my god, what a shallow man!? I'd be hurt and angry - but perhaps most of all be a bit disdainful of a rather sad and immature person... tell him to imagine if you were talking to a friend about his inadequate penis?

What a shallow man. I would definitely tell him you heard him. You are definitely not being unreasonable, I'm just sorry you had to hear him.

Tell him you need the budget for his gastric bypass, lipo and tummy tuck.

Posted to wrong person,he wouldn't be happy if you were discussing with a friend about a penile upgrade for him too keep you happy.mr perfect need to have a good hard look at himself...and you definitely deserve better.

A man who really loved you would never talk like this about you

I read him the riot act, he says he’ll get better but I don’t know. I feel like I deserve better

Well done. Perhaps this may be a wake up call for him but tbh I wouldn't hold my breath too long.

I don't think I could look at him in the same way again after hearing him talk about women's bodies like that.
Does he realise women are human beings and not just objects to be manipulated into shapes to please men? He could just invest in a blow up doll.

I'd have difficulty letting him touch me again.

You do deserve better. He sounds a right fat twat.

Very old-fashioned of him.

Small boobs are in at the moment.

But yeah, what a weird thing to say.

Doesn't even make any sense. Why would anybody like the idea of breast implants just purely because they are breast implants? They are just lumps of silicone.

Some women would look much better without.

Likewise breast implants work really well for some women.

But it seems weird to me to have what sounds like a festish for "fake boobs just for the sake of it.

“Dh, I think you need to lose weight. I’m not happy with the weight you’ve gained, and Sally said she knows a great surgeon”

”what the fuck are you on about?! Why are you talking to sally about weight loss surgery. I thought you loved me as I am”

”well I did, but I heard you talking to Bill so I assumed we were allowed to talk about this sort of stuff with our friends. You know…improvements. It would be a good investment on my part”

You said if he was more complimentary about your body it would affect you less...can't you see how fucked up that is???

I'm really sorry but he is really grim. I really would worry about your children. He's a terrible role model for either sex.

How you could find a man like that attractive let alone be desperate for his approval- that's so messed up.

Eh?

I'd be calling up a friend within earshot and going on about how it would be so amazing to have a husband who had liposuction and penis enlarging surgery. Sadly proclaim yours would never do it, poor thing thinks he's fine. What wife would bother enlarging her breasts for that.

But I'm a bitch.

He wants a surgically enhanced wife with big chest aesthetic without regard to your opinion or your reticence to undergo unnecessary surgery
yes I’d let him know you’re unhappy and it’s an inappropriate topic for social chit chat with his mate

Well he can undergo major surgery for you then. A gastric sleeve or something for his manhood?

Tell him tonight. See how he likes it.

Suggest he gets a penis enlargement first.

It's one thing to fantasise about your wife having pneumatic breasts but to casually chat to someone else as if he's hard done by and you're a meanie for not agreeing to have a boob job is very disrespectful.

What a crude oaf he is. Give him a poke in the beer belly and ask him when he's going to join a gym?

I can't even list all the types of wrong this is. I'm not surprised you're upset. You're married to a disloyal, immature half wit who appears to believe his wife's body is his possession and has the audacity to imagine he's entitled to 'improve' it to his standards. I'm not even sure where you go with this tbh because it's such a poor indication of his character on so many levels. I hope for your sake he has some beyond fantastic traits to balance it.

Sounds like a scene from The Stepford Wives, which is hands down one of the most chilling things I watched when I was growing up. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this OP.

I think if he were a lovely man and lovely husband with many attributes I would brush it off as trying to appear 'macho' and fit in with mates 🤢. But it sounds like he's nothing of the sort. The fact that he can reduce a life partner that has breastfed 2 children (his children I assume) to talking about your body parts is absolutely disgusting. The whole thing would be giving me the major ick! It's giving creepy,fat, sweaty, pervy old man vibes..sorry op.