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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a secret one off cleaner

224 replies

elm26 · 09/07/2024 10:46

Husband is doing his annual 2 night camping trip with friends he's had since school.

My 1 year old is going to the farm Saturday with her Nanny & Gramps then having a sleepover.

So I've booked a one off deep clean of our home in secret, I'm going to take the dog for a 2 hour walk somewhere peaceful, come home to a clean home, open a bottle of wine in the evening, have a long hot bubble bath, order myself a Chinese and binge watch my favourite shows with chocolate that I don't have to share with anyone in my comfiest pjs and then have a sleep in on Sunday and I feel wonderful for planning this 😂

No guilt at all about not telling my DH about the cleaner, would any of you do the same?

OP posts:
GiveItAGoMalcom · 09/07/2024 11:32

arethereanyleftatall · 09/07/2024 11:02

The idea itself is lovely, and absolutely go for it, but why would it need to be a secret?
I would want to share something like this with my partner with excitement and he would respond 'how absolutely lovely, enjoy.'

I’d be demanding half the money for it 😂😂

Greatmate · 09/07/2024 11:33

Great idea. I imagiyit will be worth every penny. Enjoy your chilled evening.

BeautifulLyrics · 09/07/2024 11:36

I agree with you relaxing for the day, although surely you could have just spent the day relaxing anyway and just not cleaned for once. I think it's odd to keep it a secret, it's no big deal to have a cleaner and it's a strange to hide it from your husband to feel 'smug'. Confused

Grannyinnwaiting · 09/07/2024 11:37

Genius, hat off to ya!

C1N1C · 09/07/2024 11:38

Am I the only one that would be hesitant letting someone you don't know alone in the house for two hours???

behindthemall · 09/07/2024 11:41

I’d do it, and not tell my DH in advance, but would tell him smugly after the event.

Not because he wouldn’t allow it, but he’d probably have some practical comment that would take the shine off (like, we could save the money and spend it on X treat instead - which rationally would be a better answer!).

And like PP said, there’s something about a secret indulgence that feels more indulgent. I often get a McDonalds and don’t tell DH about it until afterwards because it’s better to have when no one knows!

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 09/07/2024 11:41

If the cleaner is just doing what you would otherwise do rather than getting the place to a much higher standard then I think that’s an acceptable deception.
If your other half is going to praise your hard work then maybe not.

Sockmate123 · 09/07/2024 11:42

pinkpillowlady · 09/07/2024 10:47

You. Are. A. Genius

This! 😂😂

Iloveeverycat · 09/07/2024 11:44

elm26 · 09/07/2024 11:02

2 hours will be enough, it's a 2 bedroom flat and I clean it twice weekly anyway it's just my Saturday is usually a bigger clean where I wipe down skirting boards etc.

I don't know why I've kept it a secret to be honest! DH would probably laugh if I told him, I just feel guilty for spending on a cleaner when I could technically do it myself especially as I won't have my 1 year old hanging off me but I just think sometimes in life you need to have a harmless little secret that you can be smug about 😂

Why not just leave the bigger clean. It can wait a week. Just enjoy the weekend anyway.

BigDahliaFan · 09/07/2024 11:44

I'd tell him and book a regular cleaner. We also used to have an ironing lady till DH's office went chino casual.

WhatWouldJeevesDo · 09/07/2024 11:48

C1N1C · 09/07/2024 11:38

Am I the only one that would be hesitant letting someone you don't know alone in the house for two hours???

I was wondering about various plot twists this could create when the OP denies there was anyone else in the house all weekend.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/07/2024 11:50

I remember when I felt guilty having a cleaner when my dc were young, my then husband talked me out of feeling guilty with 'don't be silly, look how much joy you get from £40, it's well worth it.'

Iloveeverycat · 09/07/2024 11:52

BeautifulLyrics · 09/07/2024 11:36

I agree with you relaxing for the day, although surely you could have just spent the day relaxing anyway and just not cleaned for once. I think it's odd to keep it a secret, it's no big deal to have a cleaner and it's a strange to hide it from your husband to feel 'smug'. Confused

Would he even notice if you didn't do a deep clean. Why would he care if you didn't.

Roseyjane · 09/07/2024 11:52

Why the secrecy and pretending you did it. Are you in an abusive marriage?

i, like many people have a weekly cleaner, I don’t feel the need to hide it. Why would i. And no one is doing a deep clean in 2 hours.

Roseyjane · 09/07/2024 11:53

pinkpillowlady · 09/07/2024 10:47

You. Are. A. Genius

For booking a cleaner like tens of thousands of other folks? And lying about it. Unlike most other folks. This makes her a genius?

MummaMummaJumma · 09/07/2024 11:54

My whole body relaxed reading your post! This is literally my ideal day/night. Good on you, OP. I’m stealing your idea when I get the opportunity for some free time. Enjoy my lovely xx

Sprinklechops · 09/07/2024 11:54

My hubby is currently away... I sooo wish I'd set this up too!!!

Sprinklechops · 09/07/2024 11:55

I get it. I've suggested we get a cleaner but my OH isn't keen. He doesn't want to pay for it, but he also never ever cleans.

Delatron · 09/07/2024 11:56

Why is it you that cleans every Saturday? What does he do? This is the crux. You want to pay someone else to do what you normally do every week (absolutely fair enough). But 2 hours isn’t a deep clean. Why the secrecy?

I’d be saying ‘hey DH I’m getting a weekly cleaner so I can get my Saturdays back’.

Lndnmummy · 09/07/2024 11:58

I do this all the time when my dh is away. I have had a declutter person in as well a few times when he is away. It is my money so I can do what I like with it and the only impact on him is that he comes home to a sparkling home and smiling wife 😀. I wouldn't lie though, if he says 'did you do all this?' I'd say 'almost but I booked a cleaner to do xyz'. Etc

Iloveeverycat · 09/07/2024 11:58

Delatron · 09/07/2024 11:56

Why is it you that cleans every Saturday? What does he do? This is the crux. You want to pay someone else to do what you normally do every week (absolutely fair enough). But 2 hours isn’t a deep clean. Why the secrecy?

I’d be saying ‘hey DH I’m getting a weekly cleaner so I can get my Saturdays back’.

Op already cleans twice a week.

BeautifulLyrics · 09/07/2024 11:59

Sprinklechops · 09/07/2024 11:55

I get it. I've suggested we get a cleaner but my OH isn't keen. He doesn't want to pay for it, but he also never ever cleans.

I'd tell him that it's happening so he better get used to it.

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 09/07/2024 11:59

Oh my goodness, I think I might do the same! Except I'd probably tell my DH about it... I think he, too, would think it's a brilliant idea. Hire a cleaner and then go out and enjoy the world with our DC and come home to a clean house as a holiday treat. Yup.

Adviceneeeeded · 09/07/2024 12:02

Dh likes his clothes ironed. Neither of us like doing it. So I outsource it. Neither of us have the time either really. It took me a long time to be ok with it as I felt like we should be doing it. Now it feels like a guilty pleasure! I don't have to think about it. Nor does dh. If I could afford a regular cleaner, I would 100% do it!

Delatron · 09/07/2024 12:03

Iloveeverycat · 09/07/2024 11:58

Op already cleans twice a week.

Show quote history

Don’t we all clean every day?! She’s saying she does a big 2 hour clean on a Saturday. I’m wondering if her DH can help with that. Or just get a cleaner once a week.
I don’t understand the secrecy and why it’s her problem. What would happen if she had the lovely weekend and didn’t do her 2 hour clean?